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The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread


Ixeua

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Thank you Anita & Kaniro for the b-day wishes!! :) Muchas gracias. You're not late, my true b-day is on Wed, but I'm celebrating this eve-- a little pre-b-day celebration. :)

Hugs to all!!!

PS today is a pink day, lol

 

havehope, I know I'm probably too late but I hope you have (0r have had) a great pre-b-day celebration! :party:

 

PurpleStorm, thank you!!! It was a wonderful dinner & early b-day celebration. Stayed up way too late, but saw some great live music and made it to the beach up north for brunch. Of course now I have my Monday AM blues again.... sigh.

 

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I feel like doing nothing. I didn't do anything this weekend. I laid on the couch and didn't have the motivation to do anything. I don't want to do my job anymore. I don't want to live here anymore. I did spend a little time looking on the internet for other jobs and places to move to. I'm not in the position right now to make those big changes. I'm tired of the responsibilities, the chaos, the worrying, the guilt. I'm tired of feeling like crap and having no motivation. I now have family issues that are adding to it. I have an adult son living with us who is going down the wrong path. He wont respond to my advice and gets p***** off when I try to talk to him. He's worse off than I am.  It just adds to it because its just one more thing to make me feel like a failure. I'm really having a difficult keeping myself together. I want to quit everything

 

Hey Shane, I can really relate to a lot of what you said. I want to quit everything too. I don't have any advise but wanted to say, "I get it." :hugs:

 

 

Me too. My motivation is generally pretty feeble. And I dread Sunday evenings because they inevitably lead to Monday mornings. I took Friday off and came back to hundreds of emails. One lousy day.

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Hi everyone.

Time for a quick update.

I just woke up a bit ago and the dentist's office called me right after I woke up. My dentist is not in today, but they want me to come in and the assistant will take x-rays of the tooth. Then they'll email the doctor and have him look it over.

I'm going to tell them all my symptoms again and be sure to include the new ones. Also, I've been running a temperature most of the weekend now. Every time I check it's 99.6 degrees F or higher. My body is definately trying to fight something off.

My appointment is at 10 am this morning. That's about an hour and a half from now, so I'll update you all after.

Thanks again.

JJ

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In a lot of pain from my tooth still.  I hope I can make it through the night and get some medication tomorrow.

JJ

 

Are there any Urgent Care's near you? They are great for when you aren't sick enough for the ER but don't/can't wait to see your regular Dr. I know it's Monday morning now, but for future reference I strongly recommend an Urgent Care facility. I've used one myself when out of town and had a bad earache.

 

Hope you feel better soon. 

 

 

Hi Mia.

 

Yes, there is an urgent care nearby.  I was just trying to avoid going unless it was absolutely necessary.  I've used them before in the past.

 

Thanks.

 

JJ

Edited by SFChristianGirl
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Be well JJ. I hope things turn out okay for you as tooth pain is definitely not fun at all.

 

As for me, I'm not too tired right now - which is surprising as I've been up for a while now (I work the night shift). But I've been reading an excellent non-fiction book and I'd like to finish it sooner rather than later.

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Work went well this weekend and for once busting my butt didn't go un-noticed. My boss actually bragged on me Saturday to everyone. This morning I've been in my studio messing around with my synthesizers and trying to get my voice back... My last surgery was actually on my voice and there wasn't anything on my vocal chords or nothing. Besides that I'm taking my Si out for a trip to see my cousins up in northern KY for a day or two. The new wheels still haven't arrived which is a bummer because I really wanna put them on the car! :)

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Good news is my pain block seems to be making more of a difference every day.  I was very active yesterday afternoon and evening with grocery shopping, picking up the house, and working with kids on homework.  Usually have to ice and take pain killers after that much activity, but i experienced no pain last night or this morning when I woke up.  Bad news is I still woke up in an agitated and moderately depressed mood.  The agitation/anger stems from self perceived failures and where I view my place in life at this time.  So on with another day at work and then covering kids activities this evening.  I think I will look forward to the moment I get to lay my head down on my pillow tonight.  

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Today is hard... I woke up and seen my fiancée was not there... My routine is messed up... Have not had coffee in 2 days because we would wake up and have coffee together... My sister started playing pentatonix rather be.. And I lost it... I cried so hard ...

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Ugh... haven't gotten anything done today. I'm running out of money and still unemployed. Even if I do get anothet job it will most likely be the same as before. And I keep having panic attacks when I dwell on how lonely I feel and how low the chance of ever being in a relationship again seems. Everything feels hopeless. I'm still trying to hang in there but I don't have the energy to make a change.

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Ugh... haven't gotten anything done today. I'm running out of money and still unemployed. Even if I do get anothet job it will most likely be the same as before. And I keep having panic attacks when I dwell on how lonely I feel and how low the chance of ever being in a relationship again seems. Everything feels hopeless. I'm still trying to hang in there but I don't have the energy to make a change.

((((((hugs)))))) being unemployed is one of the hardest life conditions to face I think. I know what it's like to feel that level of stress & anxiety, which can worsen feelings of depression and make one feel hopeless.. do hang in there & keep trying.. it takes strength to keep going, but you can do it!! I pray that things turn around for you!!!

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I'm feeling okay.  Still not totally awake yet.  I have to get ready for work soon, but I'm on the better side of not wanting to lol I doubt tonight will be a hard night, but just the anticipation of work really gets to me

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Hi all.

 

Quick update here.

 

I went to see my dentist this morning.  The assistant took x-rays and did an exam for me as the doctor was not in.  I do have a badly infected tooth, although it's not the one I thought it was.  It's actually another molar, the tooth in front of it.  It's badly infected and is already spreading to the tooth in front of it.  They gave me a prescription antibiotic which I'll start as soon as the pharmacy calls to say it's ready.  I'm to wait 3 days to see if there's any improvement, but if not I'll come in right away to be seen again.  The tooth will likely still need a root canal treatment, but they want to see if the antibiotic will help any first.  Wasn't able to get a prescription pain killer as the doctor was not in today.

 

That's the update for now.

 

JJ

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Work went well this weekend and for once busting my butt didn't go un-noticed. My boss actually bragged on me Saturday to everyone.

 

Congratulations roadking.  I liked reading this post...that you worked hard at your job ON TOP of carrying depression.  Good for you.  Hope you're able to keep it up. 

 

 

Ditto what Pess said, RK!  That's a lot of living your doing there - I love it.  

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extremely anxious I have exams this week and I freaking the crap out

I'll really cry if I just pass my subjects I really need the distinctions ughhhh ((sorry overachiever alert)) ugh what if I fail

holy crap I would have to retain another year of school

I.CANT.SLEEP.

IM.GOING.TO.FAIL.REALLY.BADLY

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anita - try to give yourself a couple of minutes of panic - maybe run around and throw things, make it funny.  And then tell yourself that is enough.  You tension and anxiety are going to make you perform worse - so, why not relax and perform better? In other words, try to tell your yappy internal perfectionist to be quiet for once, so you can actually excel.  (I know easy to say - but, by the end of my student career I was doing this and it was paying off). ((hugs))

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I am just not feeling well today.  I think I'm simply scared that I'll never really be okay.  I had so much more energy after first starting celexa and now I feel like I'm back to just doing what I have to do to get by. It's true that there's a bug going around where I work and I've been feeling a cold coming on, but I see other people going on with their lives when they have an additional complication, such as a cold. I can't seem to do it. I also think it's highly difficult for women when they have hormone fluctuations, sorry guys but I just have to applaud those of us who manage to deal with that on top of depression. And then there's the fact that I cannot take anything for pain or for anxiety because of my history with abuse. Most days I laugh it off but not today. Today I am not laughing.

I did call my doctor and tell her that I was digressing and ask for her advice. Usually when I start to feel that antidepressants aren't working, I stop taking them. This time I think I'll leave it up to her. Maybe I plateaued on the dosage, 20mg, and need an adjustment. I had so hoped that I wasn't going to have to play the dosage type game.

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Wow anita,those damn exams,you are the precious one and you deserve the best of all things no matter if you pass or fail,just be yourself and keep going. 

 

Oh sal it's so relaxing to see your yellowish nostalgic photo with your charismatic look behind glasses.

 

I do it too renee2 stopping meds when not feeling good enough,pdoc always say i need to be patient as the effects of a med would need 3-4 weeks b4 showing it's true effect.

 
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I'm wondering, looking back, why I haven't been more depressed the past few months. I have a zillion health conditions, everything from arthritis to just getting over pulmonary emboli and needing oxygen, narcolepsy, past stroke, a heart condition, epilepsy (due to scar tissue from stroke), IBS, diabetes, and so not able to work. My husband, in spite of having Crohn's disease, does work, but is exhausted all the time. And we are very broke and getting more in the hole everyday. And now I found out I have a growth in my stomach that may be a slow growing cancer. The past few months I thought had been a little better emotionally, in spite of everything, until I just found out how broke we really are just the other day (hubby does all the keeping track of money as my strokes prevent me from doing so) and today I found out that I will need surgery when they can get my blood sugar under control to remove the growth (although it will be a minor surgery). I feel like I just drowned after treading water for a long time, but didn't know I was treading water, thought I was walking on solid ground.

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I know that when I go to sleep in a minute every failure I am currently obsessed with will come and plague me and I will desperately try and find a way to deal with everything pressing inside my head and I will decide that death is better than the unending game of productivity vs happiness. I'm not looking forward to it

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