The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread

[renee2]

Happy Birthday, Mia.  I love, love Chipolte.  I would be in big trouble if they delivered. 

 

Work was crazy enough to remind me that though I often doubt it my life is pretty calm.  Ha.  I have to remind myself of the fact that, in ways, I chose to live the way I'm living.  There are days when I believe I crave chaos.  I suppose it had become a habit for me.  Now my children are raised, I have lovely relationships with my grandchildren.  On days like today, when it's cool and rainy, I can snuggle up in my quiet apartment and just be.  I seem to be more content doing this when I've worked the night before and I have some fun activities planned for the near future.  I'm going to look at why I feel this way.  I think it has something to do with my beliefs of only enjoying free time if I feel I've earned it.  I also think it has a lot to do with having done some esteem able acts.  A good friend has always said that if you want to build self-esteem, do good deeds.  

 

Well, just rambling here.  I hope you all have a great day and are kind to yourselves. 

[Cupcake_girl]

So so nervous. I have big nots in my stomach and I'm about to cry.

[flasquish]

Today is my birthday and I feel old, LOL

 

We celebrated yesterday and had a good day driving through the countryside, visiting some craft stores and eating dinner at Chipotle. It was a beautiful sunny day, high of 84F. Today is rainy, so I'm glad we went out yesterday.

 

{{{Hugs}}} all around for everyone.

     

[The_Unwanted]

It is much, much easier for me to live a life full of difficult challenges than to have nothing and no one to fight for.

Edited September 12, 2015 by The_Unwanted

[TopekaK]

Happy Birthday Mia

 

 

And hello everyone.  Nothing to report.  Just kind of weird  I feel closer to this forum than to anything in the real world.  So take care and thanks for opening up about yourselves.  No emotional energy to respond to everyone, but I do think of you and your lives, families, jobs, rooms that you can't seem to leave, your pets and your thoughts.  Here we are…

[buttermybiscuit]

Right now I'm just thinking about the ways in which I'm not making things easier for me. The only ways I try to improve myself is focusing on the extraneous things, which obviously does close to nothing for me. So that's where I'm at.

[Dolphin2013]

I'm feeling excited for the first time since...well, I can't even remember the last time I've felt genuinely excited. I'm going to go to school for music. I'm going to work part-time while I go. And when I get my two-year degree I'm going to work in music some way, somehow. Teaching, playing in wedding bands, I'm not above that kind of thing--might even be fun. I've talked this dream I've had of trying to make it work through with my therapist and she thinks I'm being realistic and going about it responsibly and that it's a good idea to go with something I'm passionate about.

 

I just ordered a new bass (a cheap one, but better than the one I've got) and I'm going to clear out a dedicated practice space in my bedroom where I can prepare to audition in November or December. My life isn't over just because I'm 28 and not where I want to be. I'm scared of making changes, but I'm more scared of not making changes. I'm going to give it my best shot. I'm going to try.

 

Sorry I haven't been around. I'm going to catch up on the posts I've missed, but I just wanted to write something while I'm feeling like I'm feeling right now. I love you guys. If you're having a s***ty day, know you're good enough--right now, exactly as you are. <3

Barrier Maiden,

this is the first thing I saw on the DF today and it made me so happy!!!! That's so exciting and inspiring!

I can't say enough about how happy I am for you!

[Dolphin2013]

Today is my birthday and I feel old, LOL

 

We celebrated yesterday and had a good day driving through the countryside, visiting some craft stores and eating dinner at Chipotle. It was a beautiful sunny day, high of 84F. Today is rainy, so I'm glad we went out yesterday.

 

{{{Hugs}}} all around for everyone.

I'm glad you got to go out into the countryside. Dinner at Chipotle is the bomba! What did you have? I like everything, I think :)

Happy Birthday!

[Mia42]

 

Today is my birthday and I feel old, LOL

 

We celebrated yesterday and had a good day driving through the countryside, visiting some craft stores and eating dinner at Chipotle. It was a beautiful sunny day, high of 84F. Today is rainy, so I'm glad we went out yesterday.

 

{{{Hugs}}} all around for everyone.

I'm glad you got to go out into the countryside. Dinner at Chipotle is the bomba! What did you have? I like everything, I think :)

Happy Birthday!

 

 

Thank you!

 

I had the tacos with chicken, cheese, sour cream & guacamole. I shared some of dh's chips and we split a blackberry Izze. And he let me try a couple bites of his steak burrito with rice, pintos, cheese and sour cream. I liked his almost more than my own.

[verDominai]

Today is my birthday and I feel old, LOL

 

We celebrated yesterday and had a good day driving through the countryside, visiting some craft stores and eating dinner at Chipotle. It was a beautiful sunny day, high of 84F. Today is rainy, so I'm glad we went out yesterday.

 

{{{Hugs}}} all around for everyone.

 

Happy birthday! :)

[salparadise6132]

I wonder if this happens to any of you?  There are so many people I want to respond to on here but I always feel I have to limit it to one or two.  Not sure why I feel that way?  Maybe I just don't want my post to be as long as War and Peace LOL.

 

Anyway, here goes my screed:

 

TopekaK - your sentiment above was lovely.  Thank you for being here!

 

Renee2 - I am glad you are feeling a little contentment - you deserve it!

 

Flash - It's great to have you back - although, I hope you are doing well????

 

JD - I know what you mean with the drinking thing. Let's try to at least limit it, shall we?

 

Mia - happy birthday again!  LOL.  It's fun just wishing someone like you well (so I'll do it twice)

 

Barrier - very happy for you, young man :) (P.S. I don't know how old you are but at my age, you're probably younger them me LOL

 

Anita - I hope your anxiety has lessened some.  Remember, it's only school.  What do those teachers know anyway?  

 

Follena - I hope your body kicks the flabby butts of those stupid, no-brained viruses.

 

havehope - heart whelming children's movies can provide a surprisingly effective lift. I hope you're feeling better after Dolphin 2 :)

 

Which brings me to Dolphin - you are an angel - there, just wanted to say it.  Even if you are a KC fan :)

 

Freckled - you're an angel too, I must say!  I hope your blood has stopped boiling - that is very painful, I hear.

 

Unwanted, Cupcake, and Butter - big hugs to you from moi ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

 

Abandoned - your descriptions are priceless.  I hope you wrung that dang towel out.

 

As for me, well, I haven't been feeling well the last few days, and, of course (it's the way these things work isn't it?) another thing has happened to me just when I am at my most vulnerable.  The lady I had a date with tonight, a lady I actually like a lot, texted me that she was sick. Well, maybe she is, but, despite my standard first date plea to ladies that we just be up front and if we're not interested then let's just tell the other that WE'RE NOT INTERESTED FOR GOD's SAKE inevitably, I have found that to a woman, they cannot come out and say this sort of thing straight up.  I can't figure this out.  Help me out ladies - why is this???  Even I have no trouble saying that (and I am so conflict averse I apologize verbally to my cat if interrupt him when he's meowing).

 

What is it with the excuses and avoidance and games?  You would think people in their fifties would be beyond all this - BUT NO!!!!

 

I can't wait to date in my nineties - I'm sure everyone will act like mature adults then, won't they?

 

Anyway, feeling lonely, like I'll never find someone and little hopeless again.  As I said, I like this crazy chick.

 

Of course, perhaps she is really sick, in which case I take all of this back.  It's just that, from my experience, she isn't.

 

Brian

[Mia42]

Brian - thank you! 

 

Yes I often wish I could respond to every one, but mostly I don't know what to say. I've never had the gift of gab, I'm always known for being the quiet one.

[Abandonedalways]

Brian, you my brother from another mother. I feel for you man, honestly woman can be fickle. One thing I can say from my own experience is that I personally always assume the worst and often create self fulfilling prophecies of misery. Wait and see how things play out, maybe she is legitimately sick.

Edited September 12, 2015 by Abandonedalways

[Realreason]

Showered, cried, dressed, cried, went to my best friend's and then spent the afternoon walking alone just anywhere to make me feel empty. Now I wish I could just go out and drink til I forget anything sad ever existed, or just anything to make me feel alive

[Els1e]

Happy Birthday Mia!!! :-) Glad you had a good time. I love Mexican food. Here's a cake (I didn't bake :)

I wonder if this happens to any of you? There are so many people I want to respond to on here but I always feel I have to limit it to one or two. Not sure why I feel that way? Maybe I just don't want my post to be as long as War and Peace LOL.

Anyway, here goes my screed:

TopekaK - your sentiment above was lovely. Thank you for being here!

Renee2 - I am glad you are feeling a little contentment - you deserve it!

Flash - It's great to have you back - although, I hope you are doing well????

JD - I know what you mean with the drinking thing. Let's try to at least limit it, shall we?

Mia - happy birthday again! LOL. It's fun just wishing someone like you well (so I'll do it twice)

Barrier - very happy for you, young man :) (P.S. I don't know how old you are but at my age, you're probably younger them me LOL

Anita - I hope your anxiety has lessened some. Remember, it's only school. What do those teachers know anyway?

Follena - I hope your body kicks the flabby butts of those stupid, no-brained viruses.

havehope - heart whelming children's movies can provide a surprisingly effective lift. I hope you're feeling better after Dolphin 2 :)

Which brings me to Dolphin - you are an angel - there, just wanted to say it. Even if you are a KC fan :)

Freckled - you're an angel too, I must say! I hope your blood has stopped boiling - that is very painful, I hear.

Unwanted, Cupcake, and Butter - big hugs to you from moi ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Abandoned - your descriptions are priceless. I hope you wrung that dang towel out.

Brian - I wish I could plagiarise your words/just add my name to your posts. I wish I could respond to everyone also. I'll just second what you said.

I'll just add - great news Barrier. Dolphin/Freckled you are awesome. Abandoned please don't ever stop analogising.

Christina - re grocery line guy. Yike. I'd go with your gut on that one, that sounds spooky :-s

Realreason - I'm so sorry :( I hear you.

As for me, well, I haven't been feeling well the last few days, and, of course (it's the way these things work isn't it?) another thing has happened to me just when I am at my most vulnerable. The lady I had a date with tonight, a lady I actually like a lot, texted me that she was sick. Well, maybe she is, but, despite my standard first date plea to ladies that we just be up front and if we're not interested then let's just tell the other that WE'RE NOT INTERESTED FOR GOD's SAKE inevitably, I have found that to a woman, they cannot come out and say this sort of thing straight up. I can't figure this out. Help me out ladies - why is this??? Even I have no trouble saying that (and I am so conflict averse I apologize verbally to my cat if interrupt him when he's meowing).

What is it with the excuses and avoidance and games? You would think people in their fifties would be beyond all this - BUT NO!!!!

I can't wait to date in my nineties - I'm sure everyone will act like mature adults then, won't they?

Anyway, feeling lonely, like I'll never find someone and little hopeless again. As I said, I like this crazy chick.

Of course, perhaps she is really sick, in which case I take all of this back. It's just that, from my experience, she isn't.

Brian

lol re your cat & apologising for not letting him finish through on his meow :-).

:'-( aw I'm sorry, re that girl. I'm a massive pessimist so (like Abandoned) I'd probably assume the worst on the 'I'm sick' excuse :-(. But please don't ever listen to me. She could be sick. Although, was this the one who was a bit stand-offish before? It sounds a bit suss. Sorry, I am the epitome of negativity :(.

Re not being able to be honest & up front about it - I dunno, it's just easier to make an excuse & avoid facing the responsibility for hurting someone head-on I guess. But you end up hurting the person more. I don't think age makes people more responsible/compassionate. My absolutely awful 100y.o. (now late) grandmother proved that. Once a b*tch always a... (sorry).

---

Re me, I'm feeling completely brain dead today but I'm 1000 times better than yesterday so I'm not complaining. Yesterday was, awful *shiver*. Can't even talk about it. I somehow managed to get enough food in tho & slept last night. So I'm feeling half way human.

Edited September 13, 2015 by Els1e

[Mia42]

Thanks Els1e !! Looks delicious!

[highanxiety]

FRUSTRATED is the word for my day.   I had so much to accomplish today but due to a security breach on my bank accounts, they have suspended all my access to online banking.  I've tried  8 times to reset password but won't except.  So calling customer service and have been on hold about 20 minutes.  Today was my day to catch up on all my banking, but that is never going to happen when and if a real person picks up the phone.

 

This really in a way is symbolic of my life struggles.  Tired of waiting or trying through therapy and medication to lessen hopeless feelings.  I feel like my life is on a permanent hold, just like this phone call.  Maybe my new therapist will help finally taking me off the hold button and onto a working line.

[highanxiety]

Today is my birthday and I feel old, LOL

 

We celebrated yesterday and had a good day driving through the countryside, visiting some craft stores and eating dinner at Chipotle. It was a beautiful sunny day, high of 84F. Today is rainy, so I'm glad we went out yesterday.

 

{{{Hugs}}} all around for everyone.

Happy Birthday and all my best wishes to you.

[Mia42]

A big thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes!!   G'night!

[stardreamer]

 The lady I had a date with tonight, a lady I actually like a lot, texted me that she was sick. Well, maybe she is, but, despite my standard first date plea to ladies that we just be up front and if we're not interested then let's just tell the other that WE'RE NOT INTERESTED FOR GOD's SAKE inevitably, I have found that to a woman, they cannot come out and say this sort of thing straight up.  I can't figure this out.  Help me out ladies - why is this???  Even I have no trouble saying that (and I am so conflict averse I apologize verbally to my cat if interrupt him when he's meowing).

 

What is it with the excuses and avoidance and games?  You would think people in their fifties would be beyond all this - BUT NO!!!!

 

I can't wait to date in my nineties - I'm sure everyone will act like mature adults then, won't they?

I agree with you, yes people should be up front. But it doesn't always work that way. There are a lot of people (men and women) who will say just about anything other than the truth in terms of social engagements, why they aren't going, etc. There are people who will say "yes" automatically every time because they think this is what they have to do to be socially acceptable, even when they know for sure they aren't going to go, etc. But, people also get sick too. So there is really no way of knowing what the deal is right now. If you have 3 more dates scheduled and she says she's sick or makes an excuse every single time, then yeah something may be up. But she might actually be sick. With depression it is so easy to just worry incessantly about stuff that hasn't actually happened yet, I would try to let it go and think about other things for now. 

Hugs to you.

And even if you're 90 there is no guarantee people will be mature adults!! lol. Although people may have laid down a lot of the bullsh-t they were carrying around when they were younger, like caring less what people think.

Edited September 13, 2015 by stardreamer

[Lady Mozzer]

Empty and numb tonight with a dash or irritability thrown in for good measure.I`m just feeling like I don`t matter and I never will.I feel like I don`t belong anywhere.

[The_Unwanted]

Unwanted, Cupcake, and Butter - big hugs to you from moi ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

 

Never heard that expression before. But thank you. :)

[Kogent5]

Something clicked today. I'm under no illusion that it will stay, but it was good.

 

Started off feeling crappy, my friend kept being wishy-washy about going out with me and my other friend. Then she made it seem like we were hassling her (even though it had been her idea). But me and my other friend had ice cream and a nice time before we met up with her and - surprise! - I was positive and happy and I think I helped her out of her funk, too.

 

It's just been such a long time since I felt like I wasn't draining the people around me. I'd like to continue to not be a drain on people.

[buttermybiscuit]

Thanks for the hugs, Sal. Much appreciated.

Think I'm going to go to my trusty journal today for comfort. Maybe it will help get some of my emotions sorted out.

[anita_123]

Showered, cried, dressed, cried, went to my best friend's and then spent the afternoon walking alone just anywhere to make me feel empty. Now I wish I could just go out and drink til I forget anything sad ever existed, or just anything to make me feel alive

((Hugs)) Rr :(