Jump to content

The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread


Ixeua

Recommended Posts

Anxious and jittery, I feel like something is chasing me and I am trying to get away from it. Dreading going to work. Tired and completely unmotivated to do anything. I did manage 40 minutes of exercise today though, I am proud of that since I didn't want to do anything except sleep, well in my case lay there with my eyes closed, sigh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wake up depressed every morning over work... once I get going, it's OK, but I slacked off yesterday majorly because of a hangover. I didn't get much done and feel very guilty about it. Then again, I'm very frustrated by my work. Rarely do my ideas get heard or implemented... I'm losing steam.

 

There's a lot that's bothering me right now... my job, my life, whether I move to CA or not & leave my boyfriend. I'm in turmoil. I wish I could have had therapy this week.

Edited by havehope
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wondering why I always cause myself so much pain. I feel like an addict who just cant stop beating himself down.

I feel the same way, AA.... I feel like my negative thinking patterns just perpetuate my state of depression. I think it's all a part of the depression. A friend of mine from here sent me this excerpt on depression that I found very helpful. It seems to capture the essence of a lot of depressed thinking -- I'm particularly stuck on #6 in my own thinking & #8 since I am an escapist: 

 

6. During depression, remember that your brain goes on a bad-memory hunt, looking for old memories to torture you. Be prepared to relive or re-feel old hurts, old doubts, old guilt, and old sorrows. Be curious about what memory files the brain selects rather than focus on those memories. You can expect your brain to constantly replay the video tape (your "worst hits" tape) of your life. You'll feel guilty for things you did as a child, mistakes you made ten years ago, etc. You'll live in the past as long as the depression remains. It may interest you to know that as the serotonin level increases, the "past" returns to the past as a memory - not a torture. 

7. As your brain tortures you, it may "lock on" horrible thoughts. You may feel you have a terminal disease. You may become preoccupied with guns, evil thoughts, etc. Often, individuals feel they are somehow contaminated by a killer disease, fearing they will pass it to their family. One husband brought his wife in for treatment when she began fixing breakfast in a surgical mask and rubber gloves! In other depressed situations, people become obsessed with other issues, almost always "the road not taken". Often viewed as mid-life crisis, a straight-laced businessman now wants a Harley and a tattoo while another individual begins suddenly thinking about a past sweetheart. In almost all of these situations, the individual acts totally out of character. 

8. All depressed folks look for escapes. Common methods of trying to escape depression are excessive alcohol use, drugs, sexual relationships, changing jobs, etc. A lot of good marriages are lost during these times as the spouse of the depressed partner hears "I've got to have space" or "I've got to get away and find myself!" You'll find these escapes don't work. These methods only complicate your depression and your recovery. Best bet - don't make changes, just get to a professional.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I got my sleep study results - I only have very mild sleep apnea and do not need a cpap machine. I'm very relieved. Whew! 

 

I'm hoping this revelation will help me be less anxious about my sleep because sometimes I had a hard time falling asleep worrying about whether or not I'm going to choke or have a stroke or something.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wondering why I always cause myself so much pain. I feel like an addict who just cant stop beating himself down.

 

Ditto.  My pdoc even described me as someone who mentally cuts.  It's insane, literally, the way we hurt ourselves and treat ourselves...especially when you consider we never treat anyone else the way we treat ourselves.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Wondering why I always cause myself so much pain. I feel like an addict who just cant stop beating himself down.

 

Ditto.  My pdoc even described me as someone who mentally cuts.  It's insane, literally, the way we hurt ourselves and treat ourselves...especially when you consider we never treat anyone else the way we treat ourselves.  

 

Wow, how true is this!! That we never treat anyone else the way we treat ourselves. We all deserve to treat ourselves better and not beat ourselves up. I wish I could treat myself the way I treat others... with great respect & love. Self-love is a real tough one for me, I think because I've been so beaten up by others. Maybe this will be my new motto: treat yourself as you would treat a best friend or loved one.. with love, compassion, kindness and respect.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"in all my life I've had a hole in me. I've tried to shovel dirt in it. Cement . liquid Iron. Nothing holds. When I was with you the hole disappeared. someone asked me recently why I still love you. I told them I'll love you forever because you made me feel whole for the first time in my life." Me to the woman who I consider to be one of the loves of my life.

 

Thanks Havehope and pess for your support. but I love mental decay.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Confused.  I've been reading the news again.  I could go on and on about all that seems wrong in this world...not to mention my own minuscule piece of it.  I find the more I think and ponder, the more senseless everything becomes.

Yes, PO, but there's also this. News media rarely report what is right or good in the world. http://www.middleeasteye.net/news/how-one-german-town-welcomed-coachload-syrian-refugees-1941795119#sthash.4Pzm5FkM.uxfs&st_refDomain=t.co&st_refQuery=/XRU27q7nuc

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm feeling more human today. The whole week was a bit "meh" and yesterday I wasn't depressed, but wasn't my chatty self, and felt "off." Today I've had my coffee IV and am back to my better self. Oh, and after tirelessly looking for a decent job and interviewing several places...I finally got the bank job! The pay offer was very good. I don't start for a few weeks (Monday the 21st is my official start date).

 

(((Big Hugs to all)))

Edited by neurotic_lady89
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm feeling more human today. The whole week was a bit "meh" and yesterday I wasn't depressed, but wasn't my chatty self, and felt "off." Today I've had my coffee IV and am back to my better self. Oh, and after tirelessly looking for a decent job and interviewing several places...I finally got the bank job! The pay offer was very good. I don't start for a few weeks (Monday the 21st is my official start date).

 

(((Big Hugs to all)))

 

Congratulations Christina!  Way to keep after it. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have such a knot in my stormach. I failed my theory test for the 5th time! Even after taking a two day course were 99% passes.. I feel so stupid! What makes it even worse is that my younger brother did pass, I am truly happy for him but I can't help to feel like a total loser..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congrats, Christina! I'm happy you got the job! Your future employers are not going to regret it!!!

Now you can relax on Labor Day, knowing you've officially joined the workforce! Can you say a little bit more about what you'll be doing at the bank? You go, girl!!!!!

(my emoticons are off on this iPad, or the rest of my message would be filled with them!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tired of job hunting.  I've applied to everything I can find that sounds remotely interesting.  Have an interview next week, so we'll see what happens.  Now I just keep running into the same postings I've already replied to.  Maybe next week there'll be something new.

 

JJ

I've been there, JJ.... take a break over the weekend and start fresh after labor day. You deserve a break!! :)

Hugs,

HH

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congrats Christina!

 

Mktsparks - hugs and good thoughts to you!

 

Pess - this is the most wonderful generous community - to everyone but ourselves.  I am constantly amazed at this paradox.

 

I am hanging with my kids, tired after golf, just enjoying being with them. My girl "friend" send me an Email this morning out of the blue thanking me for supporting her and it still makes me tear up to think of it.  All in all, things are going rather well and I have four days off (including today) and the days off have taken away my feeling of apprehension.  

 

Best to you all!!!

 

Bri

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congrats, Christina! I'm happy you got the job! Your future employers are not going to regret it!!!

Now you can relax on Labor Day, knowing you've officially joined the workforce! Can you say a little bit more about what you'll be doing at the bank? You go, girl!!!!!

(my emoticons are off on this iPad, or the rest of my message would be filled with them!)

 

Thanks Dolphin, and also Brian and others! Customer service and cash-handling, mostly, but I'm very glad to finally have a job so I can relax about that. I hope you all have a great Labor day weekend! (I am going to try - starting with bead shopping tomorrow and going out on the family boat Monday).

 

:hearts:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...