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The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread


Ixeua

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Not overly tired but not energetic.

Partly hopeful and partly cynical.

I sound like a bland weather forecast.

Some days I need an emotion check-off list or one of those pain indicators with the sad, angry and smiley faces because I don't know how I feel.

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Now now JD, my grandfather was a cheesehead, born and raised, took his igloo carving tools and his dogsled up here the 20's.  He wasn't bad looking, as I recall :)  

 

One of my first memories - I went on a trip with the family when I was about 4 to WI to find the "old homestead" and see some of the relatives that still lived there and a farm dog attacked me bit my face and ripped my shirt off and no-one came to my rescue (thanks mom!).  I actually think the dog was trying to be friendly but the fact that it was much taller than me on its hind legs meant it dominated me. I think my family just thought we were playing, until I started to bleed on them.  

 

Dealing with a big telecom bureaucratic screw-up fest today - just got a phone and of course Rogers are charging me twice what they said they would.  I am trying to laugh it off, with modest success.

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Why do people ahve to yell at me for the littlest mistakes??? It was an ACCIDENT, it's not like I intentionally screwed up.

All the time with my family. I make a minor error, get chewed out by one family member, and then the rest chime in.

Sometimes I think I'm just their punching bag, but they don't even realize that.

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Now now JD, my grandfather was a cheesehead, born and raised, took his igloo carving tools and his dogsled up here the 20's.  He wasn't bad looking, as I recall :)  

 

One of my first memories - I went on a trip with the family when I was about 4 to WI to find the "old homestead" and see some of the relatives that still lived there and a farm dog attacked me bit my face and ripped my shirt off and no-one came to my rescue (thanks mom!).  I actually think the dog was trying to be friendly but the fact that it was much taller than me on its hind legs meant it dominated me. I think my family just thought we were playing, until I started to bleed on them.  

 

First of all, I actually think the Wisconsians are quite good- lokking!

Second of all, thanks for sharing that AWFUL memory. I joke because I love you, Brian, but still, that's one hell of a trauma there! :)

 

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I read all these post about people being disgruntled about their work and I wonder: why am I not disgruntled?

My job sucks, especially after being in school which was the best job I could ever imagine, but even though my boss is a complete a- hole who doesn't appreciate me, I feel okay with that.

 

The only thing I'm disgruntled about is being dumped by a completely decent guy because I can't have kids. But who could blame him? I'd probably do the same thing if I weren't madly in love, and we weren't.

Edited by ReggieSherman
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Right at this moment, I feel like the stupidest person on the planet, no, that's not right, I always feel like the stupidest person on the planet and I dont know why. 

I know I'm not stupid, I have two degrees, but I just feel like that and it doesn't take anything; just a look from a stranger, or a smile from a stranger, or a car horn tooting, I just think they are saying "look at her, she looks so stupid, why was she ever born?" So I stay home, locked in my basement apartment for days, somethings weeks only venturing out to get food and then right back to my dungeon, cause that's how I feel sometimes, like I've been sentenced to live in a dungeon for the rest of my life. Am I sick?

 

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Brian and Reggie, I guess there are occasional exceptions to the ugly rule here in WI, but I certainly ain't one of those exceptions. :smile:

 

I've always hated my appearance. My head is too long, my nose is too big, yadayadayada...I remember as a kid getting really angry with my reflection in mirrors. I'd avoid looking into them because I hated what I saw. I'm still that way, but the anger is more subdued.

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Earlier today I wrote in the "what did you accomplish today" thread that I felt like I actually knew something within my job. Now I feel like I don't know much. :verysad3:  Feeling like I'm going to fail which is scaring me immensely.

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Right at this moment, I feel like the stupidest person on the planet, no, that's not right, I always feel like the stupidest person on the planet and I dont know why. 

I know I'm not stupid, I have two degrees, but I just feel like that and it doesn't take anything; just a look from a stranger, or a smile from a stranger, or a car horn tooting, I just think they are saying "look at her, she looks so stupid, why was she ever born?" So I stay home, locked in my basement apartment for days, somethings weeks only venturing out to get food and then right back to my dungeon, cause that's how I feel sometimes, like I've been sentenced to live in a dungeon for the rest of my life. Am I sick?

 

Sounds exactly like the anxiety I experience. It's gotten somewhat easier to handle in recent years, though it's still bad enough to have me feeling paralyzed. I know how you feel, when I look out the windows it's like the blinds are bars and I'm looking out from a prison I can't escape.

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I look at people and they don't look real to me. I used to love watching planes fly. Now I cannot even look up to the sky. I'm afraid of what I'll see, I'm afraid of what I'll find. I've changed so much, the last remnants of my childhood hopefulness have been ripped from my chest. I'm no longer a dreamer at all. I'm a realist who knows what the future holds.

 

I feel like a volcano has been building inside my chest and its about to blow its top and cover my life in burning ash.

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I am sick of everything today. I keep trying to be who I really am on the inside, but I keep getting shut down by everyone around me. Every time I try to explain something to someone, they never understand. I am so tired. My life is never going to change, and I'll always feel inadequate around other people. I just want to close my eyes and sleep for a thousand years. There is nothing for me here.

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Have Hope

 

Thank you for the advice,when I was younger I felt older then I am now, but once I turned 23 and I was almost done with college,i reverted back to feeling like I was young again and lost.I am a type a person and im use to throwing all my effort at a problem till it is corrected,but you can,t really do that for certain things in life relationships,interests.I guess some things only happen once you forget about them,that is a big issue for me I don,t like not knowing what my future holds I like to plan my whole life out.I have all the trappings of adulthood a car,a house my college degree but now I feel more lost then ever my whole purpose in life was to graduate college and get a house that is all I really thought about for years since it was so difficult for me to pass the classes with my adhd.So know I am arriving at the point where I got everything I planned to achieve and now I don,t know what to even think because I never thought beyond that.

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Brian and Reggie, I guess there are occasional exceptions to the ugly rule here in WI, but I certainly ain't one of those exceptions. :smile:

 

I've always hated my appearance. My head is too long, my nose is too big, yadayadayada...I remember as a kid getting really angry with my reflection in mirrors. I'd avoid looking into them because I hated what I saw. I'm still that way, but the anger is more subdued.

 

JD, you've got to be kidding. I don't want to be weird or anything but your photo looks pretty good. OK. I guess that's still pretty weird.

 

 

I look at people and they don't look real to me. I used to love watching planes fly. Now I cannot even look up to the sky. I'm afraid of what I'll see, I'm afraid of what I'll find. I've changed so much, the last remnants of my childhood hopefulness have been ripped from my chest. I'm no longer a dreamer at all. I'm a realist who knows what the future holds.

 

I feel like a volcano has been building inside my chest and its about to blow its top and cover my life in burning ash.

 

I'm really sorry, Abandoned. Things can get better. You can get better. That hopefulness can return. Please don't give up. Don't give up your dreams.

 

I am sick of everything today. I keep trying to be who I really am on the inside, but I keep getting shut down by everyone around me. Every time I try to explain something to someone, they never understand. I am so tired. My life is never going to change, and I'll always feel inadequate around other people. I just want to close my eyes and sleep for a thousand years. There is nothing for me here.

 

Rose, I'm so sorry. You can make your life change. You can realize how awesome you are. You're not inadequate. You're exceptional. I, for one, would miss you if you were in a thousand year sleep.

 

Have Hope

 

Thank you for the advice,when I was younger I felt older then I am now, but once I turned 23 and I was almost done with college,i reverted back to feeling like I was young again and lost.I am a type a person and im use to throwing all my effort at a problem till it is corrected,but you can,t really do that for certain things in life relationships,interests.I guess some things only happen once you forget about them,that is a big issue for me I don,t like not knowing what my future holds I like to plan my whole life out.I have all the trappings of adulthood a car,a house my college degree but now I feel more lost then ever my whole purpose in life was to graduate college and get a house that is all I really thought about for years since it was so difficult for me to pass the classes with my adhd.So know I am arriving at the point where I got everything I planned to achieve and now I don,t know what to even think because I never thought beyond that.

 

You don't have to feel lost. You've accomplished much. I was in a similar boat. I had all the trappings of adult life, too. House, car, job, etc... But I still felt like a kid. If you're goal oriented, maybe you can define a goal of accepting your achievements and trying to enjoy life for what it is. You don't have to accomplish anything other than trying to live the best you can.

 

Peace, all

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I just applied for two more jobs, ones that are not the typical low paying jobs I have been taking for the last year and a half, and I don't know if I am more frightened I won't even get an interview, or if I will, then be offered a job, take it, and then screw it up. OH WAIT, I am SUPPOSED to think positively, if I don't, things will turn out badly. So every time something turned out badly, it was my fault, so.....If I think the "wrong" things, the future will be screwed up, but thinking that I am thinking wrong just makes it more confusing, so should I be...should I be..... Yeah, terrified.....

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