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The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread


Ixeua

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Moderately depressed.  Back is hurting again after trying to do a little yard work yesterday.  I have 2 protruding discs so basically chronic pain at some level all the time, but its debilitating today.  Everything I read, every therapist I talk with, every speaker I listen to on the subject of depression seems to indicate it's ultimately all up to me to change how I feel.  I don't have enough left in me to effect that change. And whatever glimmer of light I have left in me is becoming very, very dim.   

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Also moderately depressed, Pessim. I hope your pain eases up soon, and I'm so glad it's Monday (coughCHATcough).

 

 My joints are really unstable and achy. I'm also worried about my grandmother, who has cancer. I built a bit of an emotional wall up to deal with that but this morning it came crumbling down. I feel like she is dropping hints that her health is getting worse without outright saying so, and I hope that I'm wrong. No one "deserves" cancer, but she has been so good to so many and dealt with so much loss, this is not where I want her to be. She told me to look after my mother, and it frightens me that I might be the stronger one when I feel like I'm hanging by a thread.

 

- Christina

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Today, again couldn't go to work made excuses as always.

It's seems like my head want to explode from the inside so much pressure and tension.

I have failed in everything thing I do in life.

Can't seem to get out of this rut n rusting away like anything.

My wife is supportive most of the time but when am not working she ain't that happy. I find very hard to leave the house and I have become so lazy it's scary.

I look at ppl and they have so much n I have so little because of how I feel.

I just want to die. Why am lazy why have become like this?

Life seems so hard right now

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Trying to "better myself". My boss has made it plain that I've got to shape up. I looked at planners/organizers over the weekend so I could track everything that goes on at work. My boss carries around this monster of a book that's about the size of a telephone book. It keeps him organized. He got it through some course he took years ago. He recommended the course to me but it costs thousands of dollars (!). So I'm going to attempt to find a far less expensive method.

 

I did find one planner/organizer that I think would help. It didn't even cost that much. Didn't buy it though so now I'm kicking myself.

 

Went to a party on Saturday night where I didn't really know anyone. I wandered from conversation to conversation all night and then finally decided to hang out on my own. Got some really fantastic food out of the deal, but it became painfully clear that I'm not much of a party person, at least after a couple of hours.. Because I have a car, I had brought two people with me (one was my neighbor who I hardly know) and neither one of them wanted to leave the party until after midnight. So I stuck around and did basically nothing until they were ready to go. I was the only non-drinking person at the party. Weird evening.

Edited by JD4010
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 I was doing a bit better, then my teenage sister put on a video about sexual assault that triggered me into anxiety and intrusive thoughts. It's just going to be one of those days. SIGH. I will make it, and keep fighting, I'm just tired of this crap and hope tomorrow is a better day.

 

scienceguy, so glad to hear you're happy! You deserve some peace and happiness. I hope the streak keeps up.

 

- Christina

Edited by neurotic_lady89
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N lady89

Really sorry to hear about your gran and im confident that you are stronger than you realise ;-) and my thoughts, prayers and what little strength I have goes out to you all.

We will all get through this ' TOGETHER'

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Kind of safe to say my relationship with my Dad is slowly getting worse and I'm not sure what I can do about it. He just doesn't seem to get me but nobody in my family has. After being told that I'm a disappointment all the time what else really can I do? Probably will remove my family from my facebook account because social media seems to be one of my families main ways of keeping tabs on everyone. They obviously don't support me so I may as well remove them.

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Status update from Zen:

ZenDarling

Hey all. Still doing very badly. Today is the first day that I've felt up to doing what little I did do here; thanks for being here, BTW. Now have cardio and pulmono docs added to the list. Something has got to give. Best wishes and Namaste. Zen

 

 

Please send good thoughts her way. (((Hugs)))

 

Thanks so much for posting Zen's update Freckled. Poor Zen :verysad3: , man it cuts me up to hear that such wonderful people are in so much pain. Fingers & toes crossed that her suffering eases up.

Thanks for posting! Zen wherever you are, wishing light and love to you.

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Due to lack of sleep, I feel less than sanguine. We also had some scary thunderstorm warnings with sirens blaring and my son really, really, really acting up.

I don't know how he'll manage on his own, when he moves out. We'll be less than a mile away, but still--he sounds scared and scary and I just worry.

Passed the time watching the weather on tv and trying to reassure one another that it was not going come our way. It (tornado activity) came pretty damn close!

I did manage to do some accomplishing: messaged 2 people I needed to message with regard to future plans; visited a friend who had some stuff that my son can have for now. Did not attempt to get the table home because the storm was imminent.

Anxious about a 2rd person I messaged.

Anxious about a trip we're taking for vacation to southern California. At least it's not the same town where we were 2 years ago when I was so freaking depressed.

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I feel so bad it's Imcomprehensible. I can't see anything good in anything. I'm so scared.

Just want to let you know you're not alone in this. Many of us have felt and still feel that way. It does get better.

It was good once and it can be again.

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I beat myself up for feeling bad about not hearing from people.  My text and Email has been silent all day.  I am expected two ladies to get back to me re. possible dates and... crickets. And yet, I have gone silent with another lady I went out with twice but am not interested in (we just aren;t a good fit).  So, I'm a hypocrite. And what's good for the goose is good for...

 

Nevertheless, I've been feeling that, as much as I want someone to care for, it's probably a good thing for me to back away for a while.  I've got lots to work on (writing, my health, getting in shape) my kids to hang with me. I'm getting a cat.  And it is summer.  It should all be good.  I'm going to make it so.

 

Brian

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