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The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread


Ixeua

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Christina, I know how you feel and can only offer my empathy *hugs*

 

The advice given to me earlier in this thread is helping :) -" choose, then feel". Choose to do any little action at all, then evaluate your feelings. The worst is tossing and turning in bed, afraid to get up, so much more comforting to fall back asleep - I know that feeling! But even after choosing to get up and open my blinds, the sunshine is already helping.

Thanks, chasinghappiness, for the reminder of that advice! I wondered where I had seen it. That's been my guide over the past few days.

Yesterday I woke up with a minor, but persistent headache. I had promised I would go to a Zumba-for-older-people class and following your advice, I talked myself down from hiding in bed. I went to the class. It didn't help my headache, but it didn't hurt it, either and it kept me going whenever I felt a block in my path.

I forget who originally said it, but I'm glad to see you repeating it here. Choose an action; then feel.

 

Thank you again! It truly is the best piece of therapy I've ever heard. I think it is so effective because you can realize small goals and feel good about it. 

 

I hope you continue going to Zumba and come to enjoy it. Best wishes

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Hey.. I hope everyone is doing what they need to do, to keep the belief that hope exists

or hope in the belief  that happiness can be.

 

Feeling a deep sense of loss.  But it will pass.

 

Have a beautiful Sunday  :)   

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Feeling so empty.

 

Sometimes I have those tiny breaks in which I am free from both pessimism and unrealistic optimism and ego and I can see things quite clearly.  Some people might want to call it "lucid intervals". I can see how empty my life is. However it would be wise to see our life a little bit positively biased. Otherwise, there will be overwhelming pessimism with devastating effects.

 

I am on a mission to train my brain to practice those "positive bias". It will take a lot of effort because my brain has been familiarized to depression and destructive thoughts for many years. I now agree with Dale Carnegie that human beings actually are not creatures of logic. They are that of emotions. They can rarely see the actual truth. They always see things in negatively biased or positively biased ways.

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Kind of down and blah today. It is Father's Day, a "Hallmark" holiday in a sense, but it kindles the horrible relationship with my dad and the fact that my two kids are kind of distant. My daughter less so than my son. Kindles the memories of my son that died at 19 in an accident. 

 

Will probably get the obligatory call from each today. That is ok, probably what I deserve. I was divorced and they pretty much grew up with out me always around, but I was involved. 

 

At least they don't hate me, just not real close. 

 

Time to take the meds, maybe I will brighten up a bit.

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Kind of down and blah today. It is Father's Day, a "Hallmark" holiday in a sense, but it kindles the horrible relationship with my dad and the fact that my two kids are kind of distant. My daughter less so than my son. Kindles the memories of my son that died at 19 in an accident. 

 

Will probably get the obligatory call from each today. That is ok, probably what I deserve. I was divorced and they pretty much grew up with out me always around, but I was involved. 

 

At least they don't hate me, just not real close. 

 

Time to take the meds, maybe I will brighten up a bit.

 

You did a hell of a lot better than my dad, for what it's worth. Happy Father's Day to you and all the other dads who did what they could.

 

My father can go **** himself, though, wherever he is. And my mom's father can go **** himself in his grave. Abusive pieces of .

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Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there and to the moms that do the jobs of Dads too. :hugs:

 

I've been absent for a week or so, family visiting for a few days but mostly because I just don't feel like I can contribute anything of value to others right now. To be honest, things are hard. I feel like I'm in a completely different universe than others...so disconnected and withdrawn.

 

Anyway, I wanted to pop in and say Hi.

 

(((Hugs)))

Edited by freckledface
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I am feeling increasingly inadequate in every single way possible.

I need a drink, and not the sweet fruity kind :P

 

I made the mistake of drinking some of the fermented corn kind last night and I'm really paying for it today. Damn, I hate hangovers. But I keep subjecting myself to them. *****.

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Hey Freckles, good to see you again! Thanks for the father's day wishes. Sorry things are hard. They sure seem to be that way more often than they are easy, don't they. Hope it gets better soon!

 

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there and to the moms that do the jobs of Dads too. :hugs:

 

I've been absent for a week or so, family visiting for a few days but mostly because I just don't feel like I can contribute anything of value to others right now. To be honest, things are hard. I feel like I'm in a completely different universe than others...so disconnected and withdrawn.

 

Anyway, I wanted to pop in and say Hi.

 

(((Hugs)))

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My ex who dumped me initiated contact with me after a no contact period. I replied because I made a big deal of wanting to be friends, and I do, because he is a good person and there is only disappointment but no bad feelings.

 

In my heart of hearts, I do not want to reconcile, so holding out hope is not the issue. But if i'm honest with myself, I wasn't ready for contact yet because I still have feelings. Today i'm able to think of some memories without acute pain, and yet I'm scouring relationship blogs and forums (not for advice but to find people who can relate). Can't tell if I'm taking a step backwards or forwards in personal development … confused

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While my depression either went away or became milder 2 months ago, I also noticed I have lost the ability to feel happiness and joy.

 

I may smile externally for instance but I notice I have lost the 'ability' to feel happiness internally. (I want to seperate that from being able to appreciate what I have.) 

 

I feel so dead on the inside. And it is putting me at risk of relapsing again.

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I'm not feeling great, but I'm watching the ballgame on tv and probably shouldn't be. There. I turned it off.

Okay, it's Fathers Day and my father was s****y to me. He molested me and abandoned us. So yeah, seduced and abandoned, as a toddler.

That's out of the way and I regret being such a downer. I'm married to a man who is the total opposite of my stupid father. He's loving, considerate and would never just run away. And he would never take advantage of a child's trust. He's been through my most hardcore depressive states and recoveries. So what if he's not always emotionally there--he's got a lot on his plate. We went to see his dad this morning, at the nursing home and I thought: I am rocking this: I'm attentive and loving and I'll do all the errand stuff I need to do with my son and we'll go to a movie all of us....

Well the stuff with our son--he'll be moving out soon. But he's always making demands on my time and I have to remember his brain does not work well synthesizing other peoples's schedules. But since I tried to make this day about my husband, I've not spent any time or emotion on my self. Except for now.

My team won nicely last night--and I had alone time, since son & husband went to see Jurassic World, which I did not want to see. That felt so good.

I'm feeling really down on myself for not just accepting that it can't all feel like I felt last night--baseball and life are not always peak experiences. And then I feel I'm a crappy excuse for a person because I feel so sorry for myself today and why does it always have to be about me?!!!

I may go out for a little walk, just to clear my mind, reset myself, but there's some rain in the forecast. Well, I'll walk as far as I can before the rain hits.

So that's how I feel today. It will get better again, I know it will.

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Hoping all you dads out there were able to have a good day today!  Mine was ok...a little aggravating but that goes with the territory whenever planning a meal with my extended family is involved.  it's never an easy task ffs :/

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I'm not feeling great, but I'm watching the ballgame on tv and probably shouldn't be. There. I turned it off.

Okay, it's Fathers Day and my father was s****y to me. He molested me and abandoned us. So yeah, seduced and abandoned, as a toddler.

That's out of the way and I regret being such a downer. I'm married to a man who is the total opposite of my stupid father. He's loving, considerate and would never just run away. And he would never take advantage of a child's trust. He's been through my most hardcore depressive states and recoveries. So what if he's not always emotionally there--he's got a lot on his plate. We went to see his dad this morning, at the nursing home and I thought: I am rocking this: I'm attentive and loving and I'll do all the errand stuff I need to do with my son and we'll go to a movie all of us....

Well the stuff with our son--he'll be moving out soon. But he's always making demands on my time and I have to remember his brain does not work well synthesizing other peoples's schedules. But since I tried to make this day about my husband, I've not spent any time or emotion on my self. Except for now.

My team won nicely last night--and I had alone time, since son & husband went to see Jurassic World, which I did not want to see. That felt so good.

I'm feeling really down on myself for not just accepting that it can't all feel like I felt last night--baseball and life are not always peak experiences. And then I feel I'm a crappy excuse for a person because I feel so sorry for myself today and why does it always have to be about me?!!!

I may go out for a little walk, just to clear my mind, reset myself, but there's some rain in the forecast. Well, I'll walk as far as I can before the rain hits.

So that's how I feel today. It will get better again, I know it will.

 

 

yep…. i hear ya

 

 

 

  :hugs:

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Not a bad day, all in all.  I hosted a BBQ for my extended family.  I am exhausted.  I have a nascent thing happening with a lady I went out with on Wednesday, but our schedules don't match this week so it might be next week before we do something together again.  Bummer, but oh well.

 

Mostly, I am worried about my health and having the energy to actually get into the office and get some work done this week. 

 

I hope all U dad's and fathering mothers had a good father's day!  I had my kids and they were great to me and I love them so much.

 

Cheers

 

Brian

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Wasn't able to spend Fathers Day with my Dad because he was spending the weekend in Virginia with some friends and I worked. This morning my Mom asked if I had been drinking. She went on about how my Dad had found a alcohol can in my room. Didn't have time for an answer so I stepped out the door, headed to work and figured I'd be in for a lecture later this afternoon. While that wasn't the case it was just an example that I'm 22 and not seen as an adult. I also got pulled over the other night while out on my Ninja. That has bothered me quite a bit. Even though it was just a speeding ticket my mom telling me "I'm very disappointed in you" isn't the best thing.

 

The main thing thats gotten me kinda down is knowing that my cousins are so freaking happy and have nothing ever go wrong for them. I just wish I could have that for a change. More and more friends of mine keep getting married while I'm just left out as usual.

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Seeing a counselor tomorrow morning, hope I don't hate her right off the bat, but because of past experiences (with counselors and with this place specifically) I intend to NOT do what I always do (second guess myself) and listen to my gut, so if I immediately feel the need to not let this person in, I will not make another appointment.

 

 

Also:

Had a reaction when recently I learned that two people from my past, who were quite nasty to me because of their authority over me, both no longer have the great jobs they had, and actually have "jobs" that are both some kind of "independent sales person" type of thing for hokey companies. Funny, I knew these two people at different places.  I felt good, like HA HA, then felt ashamed, but went back to feeling good and forgiving myself for being petty and envious, oh and apparently a little vindictive. Happy to be me.  

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