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Ixeua

The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread

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Nothing makes me feel entirely better lately.

I'm a little nervous right now because I'm meeting up with a woman I haven't seen in ages--we're FB friends and we were part of a group when our kids were little. She was offering some handmade earrings and I pm'd her about them. Rather than put them in the mail, she suggested we meet for drinks and catching up.

 

I have been feeling lonely and isolated but because of my situation (not-working-outside-the-home, doing stuff for my son, etc) I think I feel I don't deserve an evening out getting reacquainted with someone.

 

That's part of it.  The other part is that I don't feel nice-looking and we're going to a bar...oh well. Maybe I have some lipstick...maybe she has some job suggestions as well as earrings. It's interesting. I pass this bar on the way to and from my son's job...(and once he's in his own apartment, I won't have to drive him anymore!), so I know where it is.

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Fewer tears today, but still lots of SI and other issues.  I feel like I am dying from the inside out, body and soul.

 

Peace to all, even if it is only for a few moments. :rose:

I am glad to see you, ZenDarling, and I wish you peace as well. :hugs:

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I feel like a champion hurdler who suddenly forgot how to jump and instead plowing through every hurdle like a bull in a china shop. Outta control baby.

That's a great way of putting it.

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Stupid. Just so stupid. People think I'm so smart, but amongst my peers I'm the dumb one. I embarrassed myself in front of my favorite professor. It's all because I get anxious when I study and the motivation disappears for fear of doing poorly. It doesn't make sense, if I don't do my work, I'll do poorly. So why don't I just do the work instead of making excuses for myself all the time? I'm so frustrating.

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extremely thankful for the Women's World Cup right now...Champions League is over, no Premier League until August.  Only MLS which I wouldn't exactly call world class.  For me nothing is more relaxing than watching a good match & right now Nigeria vs USA is my therapy.  I needed something to take my mind of how s***ty things are.  Thank you WNT, I really needed this tonight :/ 

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Feeling pretty good. Spoke to my neurologist today. There was one small change in my MRI. I have no symptoms so we just keeping watching. A specialist in Boston told me I am healthier than my MRI shows.

Tomorrow is supposed to be nice. I hope to get out for a bike ride after work.

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Bellerose - WOW, I could have written that, though 30 years ago LOL.  I am very bright, at least as IQ goes - not bragging, it's true, and I've been a colossal underachiever all my life.  I did crap in school precisely because of what you outlined in your post - a sort of performance anxiety :).  The possibility of studying and NOT BEING PERFECT was too anxiety causing for me so I didn't study and got average marks. 

 

So, while it's too late for me, 30 years of reflection has allowed me to offer you this advise.  Your mark does not, ever, say anything about how smart you are.  If you study hard and don't do well, it is likely because you just ain't that interested (and boy, interest counts a lot!), or were having a bad day (we're not always clicking on all synaptic cylinders) or because the test was screwy in some way (i.e. poorly designed and confusing - I saw this a lot!!!).  It is not because you are dumb.  So study and push as hard as you can and KNOW that the eventual mark does not necessarily reflect on your intelligence. Give yourself the freedom to go for it.  And, just know inside that you are smart (I can sense that you are) and your knowing that is more than enough!!! 

 

Note - the bonus of taking this approach is that your grades will also go up, generally (though, again, maybe not always) because you'll be truly trying (in order to truly try you have to overcome and fully except the risk of failing).

 

Brian

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I've given a lot of thought into this. And I believe one thing to be true about myself. I am like one of those chemistry bird bobbers. I keep going up and down up and down. Thank God I've never gotten into drugs.

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I truly feel like even after Monday dealing with yet another a****** at Disability Determinations Service checking on the status of my reconsideration. My caseworker made it seem as if I'm an unimportant nobody

just like my last one!

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Feeling like I should wait one week before posting how I'm feeling, because then at least there would probably be some variation between how I'm feeling, because right now I can't tell you much.

I went to bed at 5:30, woke up at 2 in the morning, I'm surfing the Web and one of our cats is sitting on me. I don't know how I feel.

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My boss is now agitating for me to get back into the office.  I've been working from home in order to deal with being exhausted all the time.  I've been getting my work done.  He is getting agitated, I can tell.  All my tests have been negative, meaning that I am not physically sick. It could be chronic fatigue syndrome - testing for that is the last thing my doc will do. 

 

My boss's agitation is stressing me out.  I might be better off to get a doctor's note and go on short term disability until the issue is determined???  I don't know.

 

Otherwise, still feeling good about myself. 

 

Have a great day, everyone.

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Looking forward to a better day, but fearing the hammer will drop between now and then. Hope I'm wrong.

Edited by flight

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Sal, my boss has been on my case about "poor performance" at work. I know he's right, too. I'm forgetful and always procrastinate about darned near everything.

 

I'm a departmental manager and I feel like I'm really letting my employees down. It isn't fair to them.

 

I have thought about going off on "FMLA" because I'm having such a tough time at work. I need a vacation, but I'd rather do it the old fashioned way (take time off as vacation, period). But it's so #$%^& busy around here. 

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Stolenmile,

I feel like that all the time. I want it on my tombstone, that this illness has stolen my life. I want people to understand that and I think maybe if someone happens to pass by and see it that may make an impression on them rather than some words that mean nothing. My career was in communications and maybe that is the best media best fits my message.

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I had a really great morning with a friend from church who is only a year or two older than I am. We've been meaning to get together for months but things just kept coming up, so I was happy we were finally able to just grab some coffee and talk :)

 

On a bad note, I have counseling in an hour and I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to go. Getting tired of it and I hate the way it makes me feel. 

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