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Struggling Today


mellabella

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Hi,

Firstly I am sorry that I am always posting and never answering others' posts. I hope I'll be in more of a position to soon.

I just saw my psychiatrist and am feeling super down. Isn't that always the way?! But I was feeling down already. I have depression and recently anxiety too. Yay! :/

He's upped my lithium and changing me from fluoxetine to citalopram. I get quite anxious about med changes. Anyway he always says I'm going to get better and I have a good prognosis blah blah blah but I've had this on and off since I was 14 and I'm 27 now. I wonder if I'll just have to learn to cope with this.

But I'm thinking about the future which is a bad habit I'm trying to break! Just need to take one day at a time. God I feel so awful and I'm trying everything I can to be well. I feel like I must be doing something wrong.

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You're not doing anything wrong. As you said you are doing everything you can to feel well. You are following your psychiatrists instructions and that's a good thing. I understand getting anxious about med changes. I do too. I'm sorry you've been struggling for so long. I hope that this new med combination will help you. Hand in there and know you are doing what you need to be doing.

Callie

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Mellabella

You aren't doing anything wrong. You've got the right idea about taking things a day at a time and following medical advice. If you can't get thoughts about the future out of your head could you contain the thoughts a little by allowing yourself a little time or a way to express this. Examples could be using a journal or allowing yourself a period of a half an hour a day when you will not try to stop yourself thinking about the future. After the half an hour close up your book or move room/go out to show that that is the end of your future thinking time.

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As long as you know you are doing everything that you can, you're doing all the right things. I can understand that medication changes can make someone anxious. Also remember, that YOU have to be in control of that. If you don't feel comfortable with making those changes, tell your doctor. Or go get a second opinion. Just an option.

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Hi mellabella,

Don't feel bad about not responding to other people's posts. For months I just lurked here reading, then when I first joined it was to ask for help and advice and encouragement to get me through starting my antidepressants....I was not in the frame of mind to be responding positively and encouraging other people. But then a funny thing happened...the meds started to work! And suddenly I felt more sociable! (Not in real life, haha, but here). I wanted to help other people the way that I was helped, because I remember how much it meant to me.

But you aren't in that place yet!! So don't worry about it, don't add one more thing to feel guilty or bad about!! We are here for you.

Sorry you are not having such a good time of it. It's good that you saw the doctor. Yeah, med changes can be scary...you don't know what to expect. But it could end up working out well for you. And if it doesn't you can make other changes with your doctor's advice.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing :)

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See you are using two great coping skills. By psychotherapy and writing/typing your feelings out. However, easy to get your self trapped in a never ending repeat of thoughts of hopelessness and black/white thinking. You seem to have a self awareness of your issues and much fear. Nurture that fear and learn from it. Don't fight yourself on how you are feeling it what you are doing wrong. Use that to your advantage. Take these feelings and look back at what you say. Then thinking ways to respond in a positive action to those thoughts.

Good luck with everything you seem like a strong person.

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