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30 Years With Major Depressive Disorder...


djnelsen

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...and I'm only 41

Since 11 years old, I've been horribly depressed most of the time.

I've tried endless therapy, many different combinations of meds, support groups, and I was even committed for about a week.

Nothing works. It has ruined my life. I feel like I'm stuck with this forever. Hopeless :(

The unthinkable comes to mind, in fact it's always on my mind.

I don't know what to possibly get out of this thread, and realized it's incredibly dreary. I don't wish for it to bring anyone down. But I feel like I needed to share.

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I know exactly how you feel. I'm 40 and have been depressed since I was a teenager although never actually admitted or got diagnosed until I had my first child who is now 17. I have tried countless antidepressants, psychotics you name it. Some of them work for me to a certain extent but I never get fully better so then the psych decides nope its time to try something new. I am so so tired feeling like this I just want it to end. I have thought about ending it all but that's not what I want. I want the pain to end and to be happy, I don't even know if this is possible. I'm am exhausted putting on a face pretending everything is great. I hold down a job, I act normal and sometimes I even have a little cry. I don't know what else to do...

Do you have anyone to support you? I have my husband but to be honest its not really helpful as he doesn't understand. I see a psych regularly but don't have therapy. I have tried it, but on the NHS you just have to take what you are given and when I had waited a year on it I met the psychologist and just didn't gel with them so I said so. I got offered nothing else. My only option is to pay for it but can't afford it.

What meds etc are you on now? Do you see someone regular?

We can chat if you think it would help?

Hope today is abetter day for you

x

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I am in the same boat, MDD for 40 years.

Then add on physical pain and other illnesses, as well as anxiety problems.

As you age you add the loss of major life roles such as retiring from your career, the kids moving out, divorce or loss of a spouse and you find yourself alone with little purpose or meaning in your life.

You lose the ability to enjoy life, so all your hobbies or interests no longer provide any motivation for you to do things you used to like to do.

Life becomes existence.

You have to find a way to deal with all the losses, so stick with your therapist, family, friends.

That's the best I can offer.

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