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A Positive Thread!


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Hey everyone

Ack it's been a busy week for me. My big boss from down south was up for the week making out lives miserable I don't like her too much. You know that feeling u get when someone is completely NOT Genuine?? Anyway I don't like her much and she's trying to take advantage of me, my boss here in the north is quitting and I'm expects to do both jobs now with no wage increase. I told her it's not fair and she brushed me off. I said well I'm not going to wait forever on this but we will leave it for now. Then I did what I do worst, or best, and went home and freaked out and applied for a million different jobs and thought about moving again and got myself all stressed out. I went outside to have a smoke and the northern lights came out and it was like the universe was telling me whoa it's all good you're on the right path here but bad days might still happen and I can't get all caught up in the stress. Anyways that's how I see things and it feels good.

So I made a new plan, I'm going to be the absolute best I can be at work and make them so paranoid about losing me they will pay me more and give me whatever I want and in the meantime I'm looking for other jobs just in case. I applied for my dream job in a location even more north of here in this exquisitely magical region of the North but I'm not qualified enough however I phoned HR about the posting and basically begged the woman to at least interview me she gave me some pointers for my resume and cover letter to hopefully get screened in at least and so I applied but I doubt I'll get in however u never know and what the hell , it's for sure a no if I don't try!

Anyways I'm heading home tomorrow for a long as$ drive it's about 1600km I think that's 1000 miles I'm going to do it in one day if I can weather permitting. The weather warmed up here to -12c today that's very warm for us in the winter but the problem is when it's warmer like that it means snow which means poor visibility. So I'm praying for not too much snow so that I can drive it all in one day and not have to spend money or time staying overnight on the way in a hotel. I'm excited to see my baby nephew and family and friends and eat sushi and go to the movie theatres and hot yoga. I love the North but it's good to visit home too.

I hope u all are doing ok out there I understand people come and go and then come back and it's all gravy with me but I so enjoy this thread and df in general it's been a large positive force in my life and my recovery and healing from depression and I encourage everyone to participate as much as they can because the support u get here is really awesome from people that truly get mental health challenges and don't jusge that is what u need !!!!!!!!

All the best to u all today and I hope u all receive my prayers and positive thoughts of good health and healing from me way up here North of 60.

Edited by Wrenn84
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Curtis I'm sorry I keep delaying in the photos thing lol I will figure it out somehow even if I just post then all on a blog or something. I'm pretty bad with computers and tech stuff and I get frustrated and just avoid it all together lol but I will get them in here somehow as they are pretty amazing and I really enjoy showing off the splendour of the North .

Have a great day and your posts as always are encouraging and full of light and for that I thank you !!

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Exercise Doesn't Just Alleviate Depression Symptoms,

It May Help Prevent Them

By Lindsey Holmes

We know physical fitness can help alleviate symptoms of depression, but a new study suggests that exercise may prevent them happening in the first place. Researchers surveyed nearly 3,000 women between ages 42 to 52 to assess their fitness levels as well as their depression symptoms. They found that women who met the standard public health recommendations for physical activity showed fewer signs of depression, when compared to inactive women. And the more physical activity a woman logged, the less likely she was to have depression symptoms, suggesting that moderate-intensity levels of exercise may be protective against the mental illness.

While there's no one-size-fits all prevention or treatment for depression, the findings are particularly noteworthy for individuals in midlife. According to a 2014 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report, middle-age women have the highest rate of depression than any other age group in the United States. This could partly be due to the fact that many people don't seek treatment for the illness -- according to the CDC report, only 35% of people with severe depression saw a mental health professional within the last year.

The new research adds to the seemingly endless emotional health benefits of exercise, including improved cognitive functioning, controlled addiction and lower stress and anxiety. Even just a few moments of walking in nature can have mood-boosting powers.

The results were published in the February 2015 issue of the journal Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise.

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Hi Everyone,

Hope all is well in your world's. Life is pretty good here in Australia.

Family life is going great.

Work is pretty good too. Actually managed to complete a couple of things and learnt heaps from our fabulous school counsellor. What a great man.

He was able to pick trauma in a child's life just by how tired disengaged she was. Not abuse or anything like that. We are now able to help her, at least to the best of our abilities.

Totally agree with your article Curtis. Exercise is great for making you feel better, whether it is walking, running, riding, etc.

keep looking for the positives and making sure that I am a glass half full person.

My positive story isn't really a story, just a moment in time.

Special kids coming and asking are we doing our 'special' group again this year, because it was so much fun, and giving me a big cuddle. Those special moments.

Take care all

Stressedmum x

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Hey Gals and Guys,

Good afternoon. I'm still on chauffer duty with taking my wife back and fourth to work because of the weather. The temp outside is 40', with precipitation on the ground, being snow and frozen rain. The ground is still frozen since the last time it snowed. The roads aren't that bad, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. She's off tomorrow, woooowhooooooo! :smilingteeth: Things have been okay around here. I physically haven't felt like moving. My bones and joints don't move like they used to. It's okay though. I'm looking forward to spring, for the fishing trips and camping. I told my wife when I go, I'm going for the long hall. If the fish are biting good, catfish, I'm going to stay until my luck turns downward. I'll have my boat, dirt bike, 4x4 truck, chainsaw for firewood, and a jet ski, all at the lake with me when I go. I'm going to put a removable running light on the jet ski so I can use it for fishing at night. It's a 2 person rider with plenty of room for me and tackle. Besides that, the jet ski trailer is made for 2 jet skis. 1 of my skis are broke down. I'm going to use the 2nd jet ski slot on the trailer for my boat. It's a 12 foot Jon boat with a 15 horsepower 2 stroke Evinrude tiller engine. In fact, I may just put a ramp on the second side of the jet ski trailer for the 4 wheeler and dirt bike. I can always put the boat on the top of my truck with the motor being removable. It'd take a little time to set up camp and get ready to fish, but I'd only have 1 trailer, instead of two. Once I get there, I can pad lock the bike to a tree and use the 4 wheeler to move the trailer with the boat and jet ski on it. Make the trailer universal is all I'm saying.

My wife made me breakfast this morning. Pancakes with scrambled eggs and bacon with orange-peach flavored Sunny D. It was good. I also have to take our trash off today. I'm also in the bargaining stage of getting a guitar amp for my Strat. I also have a Gibson 4 string Epiphone bass. Music has been an important part of my being the person I am today. I love music. During my life, music has been the 1 constant, that never left me because of my shortcomings.

I hope that all of you have a great day, and a blessed night. Love all of you and God Bless!

Sincerely,

Curtis

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Hey,

Good evening. I hope that anyone, if anyone, reads this, they'll take the time to post something. I had some sort of major attack yesterday. I didn't go to the docs, but it scared the 'be Jesus' out of me. It was either a minor heart attack, asthma attack, or a anxiety attack. I took some aspirin just in case of a heart attack. It's kind of hard to determine a heart attack when both of my shoulders and arms hurt constantly. I am doing okay at the moment. I've been up almost an hour now. My wife is off today. She's cooking some vittles now for a good supper, or in my case, breakfast. The grand baby wasn't able to come today because of the weather. Schools are still closed. It's like everything shuts down around here when it snows. I guess some folks can't drive in the stuff.

I seen something the other day that was a warning from the Science and Space Organization. According to them we're in a 30 year cooling cycle. It happens every 280 or so years. This is approximately the 2nd to 3rd year of it. According to them, in about 7 to 8 years, the average temp, in my world, is going to be 30 to 40 degrees cooler than normal. That would put my warmest winter day at 2 degrees above zero. Another words, there's worse weather coming.

It's been a while since anyone has posted anything. If no-one posts anything else, this will be my last post. I hope that the thread doesn't die. All of you have helped inspire me too. I'm not upset or anything. I can be positive in other threads I guess. It's all good. I hope all of you have a great night. Love you guys!

Curtis

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I watched the end of the Oscars today on demand. Graham Moore won the award for best adaptive screenplay for the Imitation Game. In his acceptance speech he admitted to trying to **** himself at 16 because he was different and didn't fit in. It brought tears to my eyes. Forty years ago that is how I felt. But we are still here and still fighting. I will NEVER give up!

Sue

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How To Increase Compassion at Work

By Jill Suttie-February 16, 2015

A new program tries to help business leaders to identify and alleviate suffering in the workplace.

Most would agree that we need more compassion to help reduce human suffering in the world. But few prioritize building compassion in the place where we spend most of our waking time-our jobs.

Research suggests that compassionate workplaces increase employee satisfaction and loyalty. A worker who feels cared for at work is more likely to experience positive emotion, which in turn helps to foster positive work relationships, increased cooperation, and better customer relations. Compassion training in individuals can reduce stress, and may even impact longevity. All of these point to a need for increasing compassion's role in business and organizational life.

But how can we increase compassion in the workplace? Though research indicates compassion is a trainable skill, current compassion training programs often involve large investments of time and energy, making them inaccessible to most working Americans. Also, compassion may seem unnecessary to some, with the word, compassion, conjuring up images of Mother Teresa tending the poor rather than an average Joe trying to earn a living.

Now, some researchers want to make compassion training more convenient and appealing for those in the best position to spread it's benefits: business leaders. Dan Martin from California State University, East Bay, and Yotum Heineberg of Palo Alto University, both visiting scholars at Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, have come up with a promising format: compassion development dyads, or CDD for short. They hope that their CDD program will help to revolutionize the workplace.

Working Together For Compassion

CDD is a hybrid of compassion training and technology. Two people 'meet' online via Skype for an hour a week for eight weeks to have structured discussions on topics gleaned from the science of personal and social well-being, topics like mindfulness, emotional literacy, and the importance of having a growth mindset.

Edited by InfinateandDistant
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I went grocery shopping yesterday for the first time in a long time. I know it has been a while because there was a dated thing i bought last time and it was dated 11/12/14.

This may not sound like a big deal but it was to me. My depression has seriously affected my eating habits and not in a good way. I can literally go a day or two without anything and not even blink an eye. No stomach growling, no aches or nothing. I will go to bed and think "I didnt eat anything today". I cannot explain it. I am one who loves certain kinds of foods. I am a large man. Not fat, but large. I have dropped 35 lbs which is probably for the best but not the way i have done it.

I knew i had to go shopping but never could bring myself to go. I went once or twice, walked in and walked out. NOTHING in the place appealed to me at all.

Seems stupid to me as an adult that I have felt this way for this long when eating is such a basic thing.

So i hope it is a start in the right direction again to get things back on track.

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Mr. Fides,

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I have the same issue when it comes to the appetite and eating. At 1 time I was 5 '10" tall at 280 lbs. Right now, I am 5'8" at 200 lbs. All that weight I lost has happened over a little bit of time at a year, but bad none the less. Maybe there's a positive in what you said, you just don't see it yet. Like, maybe this is the boot that makes you start eating right or healthy. Just a thought. I hope things work out for you. I'll pray for you brother. Keep your head up and fighting the good fight. Thanks for returning and posting. The load gets a little lighter when there's more than 1 person carrying the load.

Sincerely,

Curtis

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Hey everyone hope ur all well

I've been busy the last few days was at home for the weekend and now I'm in a different city still in the south until Friday then hometown again for a weekend and then Sunday the long drive back north. I'm here for work and I'm homesick for the north already . It's warm here 13c and no snow guess I didn't need to bring my mitts tuque scarf and winter coat and boots lol . It was good to see my family but I also realize my family doesn't always support me in my endeavours I and they are close minded and opinionated sometimes. The rat race lifestyle and mindset, they just buy into it and everything is about money, career, and comparing to others. They're good people and I love them and don't mean to complain. But also I think the last year ive reflected a lot on how unsupportive people effect me and my mental health. Anyway my family made me feel a little depressed and anxious which in turn made me feel a lot depressed and anxious the past few days. Also being In a big city again is very triggering for my ptsd for me and Im looking over my shoulder a lot and on guard constantly. Yesterday had a bad night locked myself in hotel room with a bunch of junk food and binge eating and picked my skin a lot too , then this am hadn't slept at all and my stomach was upset from eating junk food and being anxious and so I phoned my work and said I was sick. haven't done either of those things for a long time. Can't wait to get back to my northern oasis where I feel at ease and peaceful and just happy.

Anyways the important thing is to just accept bad days when they happen, grieve them for what they are , the loss of a good day, and go to bed and try again tomorrow.

My positives for today are

-I have my dog with me this week I'm so glad I decided to bring her along because I really need her. Today I took her for a long walk along the riverside here in the warm weather and she liked that

2-I'm going back north on sat or Sunday and that's only a few more days

3-my friend sent me a cool job to apply for in this other region of the North that I'm obsessed with and hopefully I will get this job it even includes free housing

4-my new truck is really fun to drive and I'm happy I bought it

5- I know I always have df to rely on for support and thank u guys for that

Curtis did u go to the doctor and get your heart checked out in case ??????????! I hope so. Don't worry about the forum slowing it will go thru periods of less activity and then busy periods

later. I think it's still going strong and I have no intention of leaving ;)

Fides I'm glad u went for groceries. It's a big deal. Hope u congratulated yourself properly.

It's dark in here - keep coming back and post anytime and don't feel like u have to read it all first.

Sending all of u out there POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. Life's too short do what makes u happy today and be nice to everyone you can be, especially yourself

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Hey Gals and Guys,

Ms. Wrenn, I'm sorry you had such a difficult time at your family's house. Hopefully you'll be home, back in the north, soon, didn't you say Saturday or Sunday? I also pray that you get that other job you mentioned. You'd get to move out of the predicament you're in with the roommates brother not paying his fair share of the rent. See, Wrenn, I've been paying attention. I do hope that you can find peace in you heart for the family. Just don't hold anything against them is all I'm saying. Life's too short for the nonsense. You'll be snowshoeing in a matter of a few days, be patient.

I didn't do much today other than wash a load of dishes. It's hard on my back when I don't have any pain meds. Played some Need For Speed Rivals on my XBOX 360 today for a couple of hours. I'm listening to Metallica's Rebel Of Babylon now. It's from their last album that came out, I think. Music has had a great influence on me throughout my growing up. I learned how to play a Baritone, Trombone, French horn and Bass Clarinet in Junior High School. I currently have a Bass Guitar and an Electric Guitar. There's just something about having music up loud enough to vibrate the hat on your head as you driving down the interstate at 70 MPH and a smoke hanging out of your mouth, head bobbing with your shades on!...lmao.

I hope you have an easier couple of days coming Ms. Wrenn. I love ya and pray for you daily. I pray for all of you daily. I try to love all humans, no matter what. Hold your heads up and keep fighting the good fight. We'll win! I promise.

Sincerely,

Curtis

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Positives for today people:

- I'm really happy to live in the north, I finally did it after years of dreaming. Things aren't ever going to be perfect but I'm pretty happy with the north despite any challenges at work

-my dogs hair is growing back a little bit. She has this genetic balding disorder and terrible skin allergies.

-got upgraded to a suite at my hotel today because the roof was leaking. This room is a lot nicer and quieter and cleaner

-it cooled down and snowed here so it's better for me. I don't like warm temperatures much

-I ate a bit better today . Also drank enough water to be properly hydrated

Positive thinking doesn't mean pretending everything's ok, it means realizing the world doesn't exist in black or white, it's shades of gray. Finding those silver linings and looking to reframe every interpretation of events can really be a game changer for mood disorders. Getting stuck in one dimensional thinking is really dangerous and unhealthy. Gratitude lists and positive lists are one tool that are really important to me for remaining positive on a daily basis. It's a great way to reflect and check in on my thinking.

Anyway I hope you're all out there having good days. If you're not I challenge you to make a list of ten positive things or 10 things you're grateful for right now.

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Hey Gals and Guys,

I'd like to make 1 thing clear. I really don't like this current weather. It has snowed another 2 inches this evening on top of the frozen rain, sleet, and snow that has been here for over a week now. It is incredibly dangerous for me to attempt to walk outside. I kind of feel a rant coming on. Things haven't been that great for me to be honest. I haven't heard from J C in over a week. For some reason I kind of figured that he would try to keep me in the know of what has been going on with him and family. I think that I'm going to eventually get all the things I 'loaned' him back and let him fend for himself. It's a crying shame that I feel like this. I certainly don't like feeling like this, that's for sure. I hope that all of you have a good day or whatever.

Sincerely,

Curtis

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Hope your feelings pass Curtis hang in there. Not to defend Jc not keeping u in the loop but he's probably not used to the extraordinary kindness u demonstrated to him and isn't well versed in the right way to respond to that....I think u should give him a gentle reminder that U would appreciate an update at the very least!

Bundle yourself up and treat yourself to a little movie or TV marathon until the weather and your mood passes ;)

Edited by Wrenn84
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9 Ways Random Acts of Kindness Can Heal a Lonely Heart

By Gina Ryder

When I think about the Monday nights in the summer of 2014, my insides soar. Each Monday was spent doing a different random act of kindness around New York City. On two of the evenings, a group from my church and I gave out free balloons to about a hundred people we encountered. The biggest carefree-attitude-causer ever is carrying more balloons than you can physically hold. Giving that feeling away to others string by string only increases the delight.

While planning this weekly kindness group I came across Proverb 21:21 from the Bible. One version says, "Whoever goes hunting for what is right and kind finds itself -- glorious life!" I didn't admit it or even really know it at the time, but I needed a life like the Proverb promised I would find if I pursued kindness. My Monday nights before last summer were a blur of dinner, appointments, workouts, subway rides, and social media. I believe the mundane can be meaningful, but before the random acts of kindness group, my life was only blissfully ordinary some of the time. Much of the time, I was bored and lonely. It wasn't because I didn't have things to do or didn't have people around. It just felt like my daily life lacked meaning, and my relationships didn't have the depth I hoped for.

As down as I felt some days, I knew there was more out there for me and for all of us. I would say these little prayers for inspiration on what to do. I got this sense that changing my solitude and discontent would involve doing something for others, however small that would be. One by one I would hear the Holy Spirit's voice. Compliment that woman. Bring a pan of chili to work today. Every time I listened to these little God ideas, I felt a surge of joy from reaching out in newfound ways.

Personal satisfaction and serving others does go hand-in-hand. The general hopelessness about relationships and life I previously felt was like a sickness in my soul. Doing random acts of kindness is a giddy remedy I would recommend to anyone for these reasons:

1.) Kindness offers one of life's greatest adventures.

If your social life lacks the meaning and excitement you crave, get a group of people together and do an over-the-top act of kindness. Plan something extravagant for the people in your life or city. Remember that in order for anything to become an adventure, it has to involve a risk and sacrifice. By doing random acts of kindness, I risked what people thought of me. You have no idea how people will respond to you when you approach them with an out-of-the blue gesture. I risked facing judgment and indifference for the chance to feel love and connection.

All adventures have doubt and discomfort. When the cooler full of free popsicles is too heavy to carry on the subway, do you stop what you're doing out of frustration? When the reality of Tuesday morning kicks in at 8 p.m. on Monday night, and you are still trying to find a knife to cut lemons with so you can make free lemonade for strangers, do you chalk this whole endeavor up to pure silliness and get back to your regularly-scheduled life scrolling through Instagram before bed ASAP? Not a chance. You press on, especially if you have people who are taking risks with you. The best adventures are lived with others.

In a previous life, I could check out whenever I wanted to stay in control. That's not possible during a random act of kindness. You are there to engage with people as meaningfully as possible. You are not able to act nonchalant when you are trying to explain to a passing jogger in Battery Park that you don't know them but you baked them a gluten-free muffin. Showing love means accepting that it might not be returned or even accepted. I used to avoid doing things that might make me seem weird, but doing random acts of kindness taught me to embrace a moment of awkwardness in the name of making myself and others feel a little lighter; to do something unusual for the sake of adventure.

2.) If you want lighthearted joy in your life, you have to become it yourself.

If you are always up to something kind, you can feel that anticipatory flood of endorphins more often. Carry ribbon and fun sharpies in your purse. Pick up dozens of flowers on your way to work. Buy a bunch of brightly-colored gift bags at the discount store. Just stop to feel a burst of happiness however you can. Even scrolling through your bank statement can be fun. Rent. Straight face. Tuition. Sad face. Party city. Happy face. Also, as a general rule, if puppies and children show up to your weekly meetings, whatever group you're in is on the right path.

3.) Eager hearts are all around.

My past is full of attempts to convince unwilling passengers on adventures. When a new friend and I were trying to figure out what to do one night, I texted her, "I know this sounds crazy but do you want to set up hot cider and pass it out to strangers?" I don't remember what she said exactly but it was something to the effect of, "UMMM YES!" Her enthusiasm signaled that she was beyond game. Not only was she totally down for a kindness adventure, she was flexible and inventive too. We realized we didn't have the supplies for hot cider so we opted to bake cookies instead. I thought about not sending that text because of how similar proposals didn't work out with other friends in the past, but I wanted to keep trying. My friend's eagerness ended up blessing me with restored belief that my people were out there. We didn't know it yet but that her one 'yes' became the foundation for the summer community group, leading to so many more random acts of kindness memories together.

4.) With generosity and authenticity comes fulfilling relationships.

I wanted to keep experiencing the thrill I felt on that first random acts of kindness outing, but it was months before I planned another one. I felt awkward for wanting something other than the norm when it came to what I did for fun. An accusing voice of insecurity rang in my head: Shouldn't I try to be like other urban 20-somethings with a social life of brunching and going to happy hour? How limiting that voice was. Our social lives are our own to fill with what matters to us. I relish good food and appreciate conversation, yet connecting over kindness was so much more fun for me. I loved coming up with the ideas and carrying it out with friends, knowing that we were capable of making someone's day together.

Two women from my church ultimately encouraged me to turn my passion for kindness into a community group, so I signed up to lead one simply called Random Acts of Kindness. I learned never to hesitate doing something you love. Running with what seems like a silly little idea is worth it because it can evolve powerfully. In December of 2013 myself and one other person baked about 100 cookies for residents in the Bronx. By December of 2014 we baked close to 1,000 cookies with 12 people for subway passengers in Times Square.

By moving forward with who I was and what I wanted to do, I got more than just willing passengers. I made friends with people I can live out my destiny with.

5,) Rejection and resistance ultimately give kindness more strength.

One story of a rejected random act really touched me. A coworker had bought a hot coffee for a homeless man on a cold day who ended up dumping it out right in front of her. Nothing says thanks for restoring faith in humanity like a giant splat on the ground. Maybe he prefers tea? Her story made me laugh but also feel uncomfortable. Ugh. Was I encouraging people to do worthless things? I thought back to all the hundreds of New Yorkers who assumed we were selling something and said no thank you to what we wanted to give. The problem is that even the best intentions are overlooked, dismissed or even scoffed at. What I found beautiful was my coworker extending a hand, saying, "Here. This is for you." What I found inspiring was her sense of humor and her open mind. She could have made all sorts of assumptions about that man, and some of them might of been true in the moment, but she didn't see another human being to love you even through a cup of coffee? Even if we can't accept acts of kindness because perhaps we are hurting inside, we all still deserve the experience of being given the choice.

6.) People are kind.

After handing a gift bag of treats to a man in Central Park he explained that he felt like a stranger had just given him a present. I didn't want to point out that he was right and that did just happen. Along Fifth Avenue next to Central Park, he called boisterously to his buddy working in an ice cream truck across the street. "Yo! Let these girls order whatever they want because one kind act deserves another!" I of course got vanilla with rainbow sprinkles (because sprinkles are amazing). It was the happiest ice cream cuo I've ever had. Immediate reciprocation was not expected, and I remember ordering sprinkles in a fit of laughter as if the only way to let out the electricity I felt inside was through the universal sound of joy.

7.) There are few things more important than people and how we treat them.

Two elderly women ask you to take their picture holding balloons. A little girl beams so big and opens her eyes so wide when you hand her a flower. A young man backtracks his steps to offer a sincere thank you for writing the words in the inspirational card he just received. Their faces stay with you for a long time. You exchange beauty and love at the supernatural level and you are changed positively as a result. You feel things deeper. The music from the guys playing guitar in Washington Square Park sounds brighter. The appreciation for a coworker who let us borrow a table to set up a lemonade stand is deep. The shake-my-hand notion turns to a muffled grin when you find out some teenage boys ended up using their free muffins to throw at people. We all make this life interesting and meaningful. We all matter. Every. Last. One. Of. Us.

8.) Human beings are beautiful, including you.

The 20-something female on her way home from work with her head down. You see her. You identify with her. You don't know her or what her life is like but you really notice her and you have a note that says, "You are beautiful!" on it, and when you give it to her, she says thank you in a surprised yet hushed tone that says she needed that. I needed that too. By reassuring her, I felt more secure too. The insecurity behind loneliness can dissolve that when you lift someone else up.

9.) When you give away your life, you find it.

This point is not from me. I plagiarized Jesus, who said this in Matthew 10:39. I wanted badly to hold onto my life, especially in moments where I was challenged. As I planned the group, I felt guilty for giving away items like balloons when some people needed housing, food, education and so much more. I feared my actions would seem frivolous considering the larger issues we face as a society. I work in journalism! Shouldn't I be devoting this energy where it can be better served based on the information I can gather? But there I was with free balloons feeling like an excited toddler. As the need in the world expands, It's easy to harden emotionally but that must be fought in addition to all the world's woes. I fought a hardened heart in the softest way I could imagine and I'm glad. The random acts of kindness gave me courage to do more. Not only did I find a life, But I'm learning to give it away every chance I get before it all passes us by, like a giant pile of balloons floating up to the sky.

Edited by InfinateandDistant
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Hey,

I've been up since yesterday at 5:30 p.m. I haven't done squat except for thinking. It seems that I have been doing a lot of it lately. I'd really like to know what it feels like to not have any pain in my body. From my earliest childhood, I have always had pain. There's not any way for me to prove it, but I think that the main reason for all of my physical and mental troubles are because my mother taking Zoloft and Xanax during pregnancy. To all of the women, please be cautious when you are fertile. If any of you are wanting children and taking any type of meds, please consult a physician before you become pregnant. It's not worth it. That's the main reason I haven't had any children. I don't want to put a child through the same things that I've had to deal with. Most of my issues could of been avoided.

I'd like for you to think about as many things as you can at 1 time. The point is that most people can only think about 1 thing at a time. Now I'd like for you to think of the 1 thing that would make you content at this moment. Is it cash? Love? God? Your marriage? Family? Wealth? Health? Material things? Music? Books? Friends? Children? Parents? Grand parents? Grand kids? What is the 1 thing that will make you happy right now? I feel like my life has been nothing but a waste. Maybe not, but you know what I mean. There's a lot of things that I wish I had done differently. If you're young, please don't live your life with regret. Live it, love it, and hold it close. Life's too short to not live it. I'm sorry for 'rambling on'. I'm kind of sitting here, lonely, wishing I could go do something worth while. What's the point of holding on to something that's a waste?

Edited by InfinateandDistant
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Sometimes I think we expect too much from life. Like we have been spoiled with so much that its gotten boring and we have to have more things to keep us occupied and happy. Many years ago we did not have nearly as much. We spent most of our time working in the field growing our own food and working hard to put the food on the table. We had much less free time and maybe because of this we cherished the free time even if it was just being able to rest. Maybe the more you have the less you appreciate. I dont know, just my thoughts right now.

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Hey Gals and Guys,

Welcome gentle sun! Thank you for posting. I hope that you return and post again soon. Welcome!

I went to town today and seen my GP. She prescribed meds for anxiety, muscle relaxer or nerve med for Fibro, an inhaler for COPD, prostate, blood pressure, and Doxepin for depression. I hope that all of this stuff works. I need some relief. I'm still fighting the good fight. My head is hurting at the moment from my blood pressure being high. I'm just tired from being up since yesterday. I bet I sleep great tonight. I hope all of you have a great evening with family. Tell them you love them. Thanks for the prayers. I'll definitely post tomorrow. Looking forward to it actually.

Sincerely,

Curtis

Edited by InfinateandDistant
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Hey Gals and Guys,

I've been up for a few hours. I was able to see my grand baby for a few minutes this morning. That was a pleasant wake up surprise. Needless to say that my day has been pretty good up to this point. I'm sitting in front of my laptop, in my living room, in the best country on Earth, sipping on some Sunny D, knawing on some Orchard flavored Skittles, and watching some Reba on CMT channel. How great is my life? My life's pretty awesome, I have to admit. I have my boat, with a 15 horsepower Evinrude 2 Stroke engine, a jet ski, a chainsaw, a tarpelin for shelter, if needed, my 4x4 Blazer, my 4 wheeler, and my 250 Yamaha YZ dirt bike, all in which I am going to play with all at the lake/river this summer. Yeah, my life is pretty great. I started some of my meds last night from the docs yesterday. I have to say that the COPD inhaler works really well. Just in case, COPD is basicly me drowning in my own snot. Not trying to be ugly, just putting it in plain English. Another words, I'm better. I'm happy about that.

I'll try to post something positive this evening. I thought that last 1 was pretty good. I hope all of you are having a stress-free evening with family and loved ones. Don't let your everyday life steal your family time away. You'll regret it 1 day, like I do now. Love all of you and keep your heads up, we're winning this!

Sincerely,

Curtis

Edited by InfinateandDistant
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