Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'suicide'.
Found 11 results
-
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE- STRONG LANGUAGE ⚠️ ———————————————————————— This will be a veeeeeery long post, just telling yah 😁 ———————————————————————— Hi everyone and welcome to my blog. I joined the DF yesterday because for the first time in my life I thought about comiting suicide and it made me really afraid to have those kind of thoughts so I decided to reach out. In future entries I will be telling you about myself and sharing bits of my life. I hope I can serve as a crutch for those who are struggling with depressive thoughts just like me. This is what I posted yesterday (you can find it in the forum under the name “I want to end my life”): ” Hi everyone, Today, for the first time in my life I seriously considered suicide. I had never done so before, sometimes I just joked around saying things like “oh shoot me” or “just end me now”, but it’s only now that I realise that it’s been no longer a joke for a while. My sister said today that I only “make her miserable and ruin her life”, my brother said that I’m a “bad sister” and my parents think I’m an embarassment to this family. And honestly? They are right. You might read this and think I’m an exaggerated idiot, but this episode is only what pushed me over the edge. My family loves me, I have great friends, good health and I’m financially stable. So why do I want to **** myself? I don’t want to die because I hate life, I LOVE life, I love what I’m studying and I’m full of projects and dreams to make come true. But the thing is, what’s the point in doing anything of all of this if it brings pain and sadness to my family? I know they love me and I know they would mourn me and be sad for a while, but I’m sure they would heal, move on with their lives and in the end be thankful to me for making their lives easier by disappearing once and for all. I’m really really scared. I never had such dark thoughts before; I even traced out different plans on how to end my life!!! And I can’t talk about this with anyone I know because I would jut make them feel even worse with all my depressing nonsense than I already am by being alive. Sorry for this buzzkill post, but I needed to share this with someone, even if it’s random people on the interntet. “ Pretty sad uh? Depression is a monster that comes out of ****ing nowhere and kocks you right in your ass. But all trough the day I recieved beautiful answers and great advice from strangers who were kind enough to reach out and help me navigate through this difficult times. I don’t know why my update automaticaly puts itself as “hidden” but I wanted to share my update with you guys and hopfuly the kind souls that wrote me back might bump into this and recieve their more than owed answer. This is what I wrote today: ”UPDATE! Hi everyone, It’s been a very very intense, emotionaly draining day and I want nothing more than going to bed but I feel like I owe you an update on my situation since I already threw all of my sadness your way, might as well now give you some good news. Thank you so so so so much for all of your kind words, encouragement and advice. I took this day for myself and called the number of the hotline you gave me but it told me it’s only for people from Australia. Notwithstanding, it inspired me to look for my country’s own suicide hotline(which I didn’t know existed in my country) and had a great talk with one of the professionals that volunteer there that lasted for like two hours. They helped me realize that although my pain is very valid, ending my life would be a cowardly move, the easy way out, and I might be a lot of things but I for sure ain’t a coward. I need to face my problems head on. Ending my life it’s just a way from running from troubble, and it won’t actually solve everything; it would only lesve behind sorrow and unresolved problems for the rest of eternity. After that enlightning chat I just layed in bed for a while listening to music and googling songs that matched my gloomy/reflective mood. During that time I found a Tim McGraw song called “**** myself” (I know that when I post this the name will seem very odd because of the dots that will appear instead of the word), and I thought it perfectly matched my mood. As I listened to the lyrics something clicked. The song didn’t talk about him actually physicaly commiting suicide but of getting rid of his old self, his worst version and to become a more worthwhile human being. And this is what I want to do with my life. I’ll try my damn hardest to be the best version of myself and to bring more light into the world because God knows I can’t do that if I’m dead; I can’t help people if I’m dead, I can’t contribute to society if I’m dead, I can’t be there for my family and friends if I’m dead and I can’t follow my dreams if I’m dead. Another thing I listened to today was a beautiful poem about suicide that it honestly made me cry. I never heard a poem so strong, inspiring and beautiful before. It really helped me and I’m sure it will be useful for anyone going through what I’m going through. One of you guys told me that I should work on finding something to do, something to look foward to and someone to love. I found this advice truly helpful and I’m really trying to do it. I even wrote a list with several items under each category. I wouldn’t have made this progress today without your help and your kind words, you have no idea how much they mean to me. Honestly, the most inspiring and uplifting thing that happened today was not getting your lovely answers to my post but just the mere fact of learning that there are more people out there in the same situation as I am or that where in the same situation who are willing to take some time of their day in order to help strangers facing the same struggles they are facing or used to face. Of course that the progress I made today doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly happy and purposeful, I know that I still have a long way to go until I heal, that I have a lot of pending conversations to have with those closest to me (eventhough they’ll suck) and some many more tears to shed until I can get this ugly demon that is depression out of my heart and head. It will be hard. I know that. But eventhough the road ahead I see right now might not be very smooth and sunny, at least now I can see a road to follow. An ugly path is better than no path at all. I’m sure the sun will shine for me again. After each storm the sun always returns, so why would it be any different for me? It’s only natural for the sun to return once the storm passes. I just have to hold on until it does.” ———————————————————————— Well, this is all for today. I’m absolutely exhausted. I’ll be posting more soon. Stay sane, safe and happy! RSK ❤️
-
untilThe National Suicide Prevention Lifeline offers free, confidential crisis counseling 24/7/365. You don't have to be suicidal to call. Acct not monitored 24/7. 1800273TALK Suicide Prevention Awareness Month Suicidal thoughts, much like mental health conditions, can affect anyone regardless of age, gender or background. In fact, suicide is often the result of an untreated mental health condition. Suicidal thoughts, although common, should not be considered normal and often indicate more serious issues. Each year, more than 41,000 individuals die by suicide, leaving behind their friends and family members to navigate the tragedy of loss. In many cases, friends and families affected by a suicide loss (often called “suicide loss survivors”) are left in the dark. Too often the feelings of shame and stigma prevent them from talking openly. September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month—a time to share resources and stories in an effort to shed light on this highly taboo and stigmatized topic. We use this month to reach out to those affected by suicide, raise awareness and connect individuals with suicidal ideation to treatment services. It is also important to ensure that individuals, friends and families have access to the resources they need to discuss suicide prevention. NAMI is here to help. Informational Resources Know the Warning Signs and Risk of Suicide Preventing Suicide as a Family Member or Caregiver Being Prepared for a Crisis Need more information, referrals or support? Contact the NAMI HelpLine. Crisis Resources If you or someone you know is in an emergency, call 911 immediately. If you are in crisis or are experiencing difficult or suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255) If you’re uncomfortable talking on the phone, you can also text NAMI to 741-741 to be connected to a free, trained crisis counselor on the Crisis Text Line. Awareness Resources Help promote awareness by sharing images and graphics on your website and social media accounts. Use #SuicidePrevention or #StigmaFree. While suicide prevention is important to address year-round, Suicide Prevention Awareness Month provides a dedicated time to come together with collective passion and strength around a difficult topic. The truth is, we can all benefit from honest conversations about mental health conditions and suicide, because just one conversation can change a life. National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273 TALK (8255)
-
ITV Report 16 July 2015 at 2:52pm Marie Barry's partner Steve became depressed following the death of his dad A mother of two from Lincoln, whose partner took his own life after battling depression, says too many people aren't willing to talk about the illness. Marie Barry's partner Steve became depressed following the death of his dad. Steve became depressed following the death of his dad The 48-year-old farm worker was also worried he was about to be made redundant. Marie who has two young sons says society brushes depression under the carpet or hides it away treating it as a stigma. Marie believes that society brushes depression under the carpet or hides it away treating it as a stigma. Credit: ITV Yorkshire She also believes men in particular suffer in silence and aren't willing to talk. She's now desperate to help others to speak to their loved ones so they don't ever face the loss she has. She also says telling her children how their dad died was one of the hardest things she's ever had to do. Marie has spoken to Calendar on the day 'Shine' - the mental health network for Lincolnshire said that it is time businesses and society at large realized that people who have severe depression, or who are bipolar or suffer psychosis, are as "disabled" as people who have a physical condition. When someone talks about disability, people tend to think of them having a broken arm or leg, or having suffered a stroke or a life-changing heart attack."They don't see someone who is trying to recover from a nervous breakdown, coping with long-term depression, schizophrenia or psychosis in the same way, yet these conditions often last longer than a physical illness and they may require life-long medication. Source: – SHINE Director Charles Cooke Last updated Thu 16 Jul 2015 -
If you’re feeling suicidal, please read this. Please keep this number handy (988)
Lindsay posted a topic in Suicide Help -- CALL 988 NOW! PLEASE READ THIS!! If you or someone you know are having thoughts about suicide, call 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location
If you’re feeling suicidal, please read this. And keep this number handy - 988 I originally wrote this for World Suicide Prevention Day. It is aimed towards someone who may be considering taking steps towards ending their own lives. If this is you please read on and I hope that you can find something in these words that makes you see that your life is precious. I may not know you personally but if I could I would reach out and hug you first and foremost. You may feel alone in this world and like there is no point in carrying on but this is simply not true. While I don’t know you, the fact that you are struggling and feeling like this is the only option shows me that you are a person who can feel things so deeply and I believe that whatever you may have done there is at least one person who does care deeply for you. If you can not think of one then let me tell you that I care about you. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be writing this. If you are still reading then thank you for not turning and running . That shows that within you there is strength to confront what you are feeling and also hope that maybe there is something else you can do to avoid this, what to you may feel like is the only, course of action. You are doing so well just reading this and trying to see if there is something you can do and I hope you can hold on to this however tiny it may seem. Thank you for still reading. I’m now going to offer you some things you may like to do before you go any further. You don’t have to do them but I hope there is one thing here that may help you. Here they are: Call, text or email someone, explaining how you feel, if you can. This could be a friend, relative, medical professional or a charity helpline. The Samaritans offer non-judgmental advice 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Take a bath or shower and try to relax for an hour. In this time try to think about yourself and treat yourself with respect. Write one thing that you can do. It may be that you can take some lovely photographs, it may be that you make a brilliant meal or it might be that you always make yourself available to others. There is, I’m sure, one thing that you can do. Do that one thing that you can do. Go for a walk if you feel that you can do so while still remaining safe, If possible make sure that someone knows where you will be going and how long you plan to be. This gives you a chance to roam in mind as well as body but still keep in mind that people are waiting and wanting you. Draw, write or do something creative. Don’t worry about how it turns out. Exercise. Maybe lift weights or run. Sleep. I hope there is something there you can do. I hope upon hope that the first option is the one you choose. I believe that other people are our biggest weapon in fighting the thoughts that are currently pushing you to your limits. You still reading? Great. You’re doing really well to keep going and I’m proud of you. Truly proud of you. I know how hard it is to get this low but you’re still with me and that is a massive positive. I hope the intensity of your suicidal feelings is subsiding slightly or you have managed to find something to hold on for until you can get the support you deserve, and yes you do deserve it no matter what your brain is telling you. You are on this planet and that makes you special. There is probably someone, you may not know who, but someone who loves you and is glad you are alive. I’m glad you are alive as I know you have huge potential if you have made it this far, think about it you’ve read all this written by me; that is an accomplishment. I’m going to leave you now. I hope you make the decision to live. I know it is a big decision to make and may seem scary but I believe that it is the best decision you can make as it holds so much opportunity for the future. Please get help and if you feel that you are at immediate risk of hurting yourself then I ask you to go to Accident and Emergency so that you can be kept safe. You deserve to be safe and happy. Thank you for reading and know that I am thinking of you and hoping you can see the good in you that others can. One last hug. *hugs* -Lindsay
-
I'm writing this today because I just wanted to let all of you fellow depression sufferers that it does get better and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm also writing this because like you I suffer from clinical depression and everyday I battle the demons to fight for my sanity. I joined this site in July and posted a introductory topic for myself about how miserable I was. At that point I went to sleep and woke up every morning wanting to die, I didn't give a s***...I just wanted the pain to end. I had severe depression to the point of having several plans to **** myself. I didn't know what happiness was, all I knew was the sadness and misery inside, I isolated myself from friends and family and didn't express how I felt. I brought my mom to the point of tears because she was so worried about me but she didn't know how to help me. Then on September 15th, 2011, I grabbed that 1% of hope I had and signed up for a group therapy center in NJ called High Focus Center. I was at the end of the line, I didn't want to live a life a misery but I didn't know what to do. I was digging and crawling the entire 5 months I was at that program. Relapsing due to a girl and going to a Psych-ward for 2 days in November 2011. But something changed after that, while in the hospital I made a promise to myself to never get that low again. I graduated the High Focus Program on December 30th, 2011 after spending 4-5 months there. I realized at that point in time I had won the battle against depression...The battle for my soul. The changes are like night and day, I am now a full blown optimist. I live in mindfulness, one day at a time, not worrying about the past or the future. I have for the first time in my life experienced genuine happiness and I love it. I love who I am, who I've become, and my self-esteem couldn't be higher. I am so grateful for people in my life, everyone of them. Never give up on yourself, there is always tomorrow...Fight for happiness, fight for control, fight for loved ones, fight for yourself..... Keep on fighting fellow brothers and sisters, it gets better. :)
-
My name is Elizabeth.. It is funny I usually start to introduce myself on sites or in person in the most positive light I can. Which always does fall short, considering...the list, is, well, short. It is nice to feel free to express myself for who/what I am for once. Even if that person isn't fun and a bit pessimistic. I am 20 and 1/2 years old. With a spirit of a 13 year old but the wisdom (I think) of someone one perhaps 50? I don't remember ever being happy. No one ever gave me the chance. I was an obese child. The first time I stepped on the scale in gym class (middle school) it read 160lbs. Getting abused physically and mentally by my older brother and oatcasted by everyone around me. it was easy to turn to food for comfort. Becoming 185lbs was a piece of cake. But with health classes, i became more aware of nutrition and the power to control my weight. unfortunatly i was educated on bulimia and anorexia. I starved mself for 2 weeks. but i couldnt go longer. and than spent 5 years of my life stuffing my face and purging. I was an uncontrollable bulimic. i got down to 150lbs but it never got less than that. (i am 5'7.5 btw) When my mom ( i forgot to put my bracelets on after a shower...STUPID i know), she ended up going through all my things and diary. and found out about my bulimia. i got treatment. but didnt get cured for a while. now i am. Of the purging. but i still binge. I am forever addicted to food. I go through periods of starving. than eating. repeat. I flunctuate 135lb-140lb currently and i hate myself. that isnt the beggining of it. I randomly developed a seizure disorder my senior year of high school. and had been having a seizure 2-3 times a week everyday. no medicine helped. And all depression medication made it worse (seizures everynight). Than i randomly obtained a weird random chronic urticaria. first getting hives everytime i go out in the sun. now i dont get the hives. just painful itching. also whenever i get too hott. like work out, get in hott water, etc. This made me more depressed and suicidal. because if i could excersize to try and get thin, i felt i had nothing. and medication didnt work for that either. (as i decided to eat cleaner foods though for some reason the itch has gone away, i only itch in the sun now). Also pairing my topamax with and anti-anxiety med. has made me seizure free for 5 months now...I am...mind blown. knock on wood! (In a ear I may be able to learn to drive for the first time, if i am still alive) this proves, i suppose, things get better??? but i am almost 21!!! I have been sitting. in my moms house. searching craigs and snag a job EVERYDAY. for over 2 years. trying to find something that is ATLEAST a 1 hr walking distance from our home. (Because i never learned to drive, due to my epilepsy) i have had a few interviews. I have also tried bus routeing. Believe me....its hopeless. AndI have 40,000 dollar debt. and i owe my first 1,000 in 1 week. all from stupid art college and then beauty school. which both have proved absolutly useless. and i cant pay it. and my mom is broke. i reapply to the same places over and over. everymonth...desperate. Now i feel like it is too late. I thought maybe, if i was skinny enough...I could model or something for cash but I am not even that. I am a good for nothing. If i didn't have a mother to judge me or say no and I had a means of transportation... I feel like i would throw myself away at this point. I saw an ad in craigslist seeking...well people for adult films. this goes against everything I am. I dont do drugs, drink alcohol, and most certainly would never have sex with someone i did not have feelings for. -
Hello, I don't post on here normally but I have nowhere else to turn. I have been in a relationship for nearly 4 years. My boyfriend makes me the happiest person ever and I love him more than anything. But I never listened. I had been more ratty than usual over the past year, snapping at little things. I knew I was depressed, and he told me to ring the doctor. I never did, and things went too far and the other day after one little argument, he snapped and said he never wants to see me again. It is totally my fault for being too scared to phone the doctors. I have lost the love of my life because of it. So today, I finally got the courage to ring the doctor. My appointment is at quarter to 5. It is good that I am helping myself but I have still lost him. He is so so so mad and so so hurt, he just doesn't see any hope for us and says our relationship isn't real as we argued too much. I feel so alone and angry at myself. It was all my fault and now I've pushed him so far away without even realising it, I can't get him back. He went out the night we broke up and got drunk and then apparently sat in the corner of the club all moody, I hate to know I have hurt him this much. He is coming over for 5 minutes on Wednesday so we can exchange stuff, it is breaking my heart. He knows I am going the doctors now, but it is too late for us. I have ruined everything. Now I am going the doctors in a few hours, but I am wondering how it will help. How can life go on when I have let myself lose the person who loved me so so so deeply? I have hurt him so much, I don't even think there is anyway to get him back. What do I do? Please help.
-
I have a friend with bipolar, suspected schizophrenia and bulimia (We'll call her Georgie). She's basically the same age as me and we're both going into our final year at high school. Since the middle of last year she has really been struggling with self harm and suicide attempts. She ended up in a clinic after her second or third suicide attempt and years worth of self harm in many different forms. We thought after 6 weeks in there, things were looking up for her, but recently she's only gotten worse. She was misdiagnosed (and consequently mistreated) with depression and it's only fairly recently that she's been put on meds for bipolar. The only problem is, they seem to do absolutely nothing. It wasn't sure whether she'd come back to school to finish this year or she'd take a year away from everything and then do the final year in 2013 but she's decided to come back. Over the holidays she was excercising excessively every day and (I assume) purging basically every meal, which she's continued doing. She also recently broke up with her boyfriend of five months (he dumped her on their anniversary over facebook) and last night, some stuff that he said was misinterperated by her as him saying that he wished he was dead and she overdosed again and landed herself in hospital overnight. She's so casual about the whole situation, making jokes about what happened in hospital and laughing about the voices in her head and what they were saying, but it feels like she just throws everything onto me and one of our mutual friends (Let's call her Paula). I'm sure she doesn't mean to put so much pressure on us and it's nice that she trusts us so much, but it gets so hard when all her problems become yours and you find yourself lying in bed at night struggling with the thought of her being gone forever. I am 'normal', whatever that means, but I do know this Paula has had troubles with cutting and purging as well and takes everything that happens to heart, because they made a 'self harm pact' which she's stuck to much more strongly than Georgie so she blames herself. Paula is definitely overcoming her issues well and is staying strong but we both find it so difficult when Georgie makes an attempt at her life or comes to school with a whole new set of scars on her arms. Basically, what I'm looking for is some kind of magic fix to make it all go away! As if it could be that easy!! I don't want her to die, but there's nothing I can do outside of school to stop her from hearing her brother saying spiteful things or the bank closing too early and it's hard when you have no control over these things. Do you have any suggestions to help her hang in there while we wait for her psych to find the right selection of meds to make her feel better?
-
This is my first post on this site. I am 22 and have been dealing with a boatload of emotional issues for the last decade. I've been treated for depression, anxiety, guilt, anger, social disorders, bipolar disorder, insomnia, self mutilation and mood disorders. I have seen countless therapists at multiple psychiatric wards and residential treatment facilities and have been perscriped to pretty much every anti-depressant I have ever heard of. Everyday is a struggle. Waking up is my worst nightmare. I hate going to sleep knowing I have to wake up to another day. I loath people; what they are and what they do. I am unable to maintain a job or stay in school because everytime I walk into an environment with people, I consistently feel like I am being judged or looked down upon. At 22, not being able to have a job or a degree has left me in my parents house, in an environment where no one understands the severity of the thoughts running through my head. According to everyone around me, I am only being dramatic and need to "suck it up" and be a responsible adult. I think about suicide hourly. I have attempted multiple times. The reason I haven't tried again is because each time I have attempted and failed, the outcome has been unbearable. I only want to do it again if I know it will work. I hate seeing what I do to my family when they see me like this. I am in a relationship with a wonderful guy who understands that I have issues, but he doesn't understand how much I can't stand living. I have put him through more suffering than I would wish upon my worst enemies. We have gotten in arguements. I am also plus size. My confidence in myself has been pounded to dirt because of the environment I was raised in. I was raised in a very rich, plastic town where you are bullied and hated if you weigh more than 100lbs. To give you an idea, my high school is the school that the movie 'Mean Girls' was based off of. My father attended Harvard and Brown and the fact that I can't even get through a year of college has devastated him into being an alcoholic. He blames me for his emotional pain. I could continue typing for hours, but no one would read it. If this sounds familiar to any one, please let me know what you have done to overcome the pain.
-
I have a friend who was dumped by her boyfriend of over a year not too long ago. We three were mutual friends so both of them talked to me about their relationship often, and I got both sides of every issue that they ever had. Recently the guy, "Steven," broke up with the girl, "Sandra," because she was too clingy, needy, and obsessed, according to him. He told me he grew to fear her and that his parents did as well, which is why he decided to keep his distance for a while. Sandra, noticing her boyfriend's increasing distance, persisted even more in trying to get his attention again, until finally he ended it with her. When that happened, Sandra began getting paranoid, asking me to find out whether Steven dumped her due to there being someone else, or whether he dumped her for some other reason she doesn't know about. I found nothing to report other than just her attitude. Regardless, Sandra took the breakup hard, and started saying things like, "Luis, this hurts so much. I've had my heart broken five times now, and this time by someone I never thought would hurt me. I'm never going to have a boyfriend again. I just want it all to end now." I assumed by "I want it all to end now," she meant the heartbreak, but then she completely lost contact with me, which makes me assume the worst now. Could she have meant her life? If so, what should I do? She never told me where she lives these days, though I could find her if I tried. Should I try? Or should I assume nothing and remain neutral? If I should try, what should I do or say? -
It has been a hard week for me. In coming off the Celexa, I have dipped back into the depression and anxiety again. While I am not suicidal, I am feeling the same way as I did when I was suicidal. The difference is, I do have people to talk to this time who understand where I am at and how difficult this is for me, I am getting professional care (when they are available), and my friends are really sweet and supportive of me (when I reach out to them). When I am down like this I realize how isolated I am from the people I love the most. My mother and sister live far away from me, my best friend is very busy in her life, my other two best friends moved a great distance from me, and the friends I have in my city are very busy, too busy to talk to me. My father does live here, but he is also extremely busy. It seems, everyone is busy living their life. And, to be honest, I don't want to bring them down or worry them with my depression and anxiety. I find the only people I can talk to about my inner turmoil outside of my pyschiatrist are other people going through the same exact thing at the moment. I've met some people online through the Depression Forum who are going through the same thing. All of us depressed people at the forum, we cling to one another for support and help, because most people in our lives, while they care, cannot handle the depth of our despair, the frustration of our constant battle, and seeing us suffer. So, we've all learned to hide it in one way or another from those around us, and some of us can even put on a pretty good smiling mask when needed. It amazes me how many depressed people are in this world, and what a terribly life threatening illness it is. So many have reached a point where everything is hopeless, they do not want to live feeling that way any more. Some talk about taking the next step, talk about suicide. That is very frightening for anyone to hear, and for the person who is thinking it. Unless you have been there, you would not understand the emotion of that moment. The best analogy that comes to my mind is the analogy of Frodo and the Ringwraiths from the Lord of the Rings by Tolkein. After Frodo gets stabbed by the evil Nazg
