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Found 3 results

  1. Hey everyone, Im here for a really good friend of mine and Im kinda worried about her. A few days ago she told me her boyfriend (he broke up with her about 3/4 weeks ago) was a self harmer. She told me that this has made her self harm too for quite some time, . She told me she stopped and and she promised me she would never do it (I didnt force her or anything, i know that doesnt work, I tried to support her as best as I could) I have reasons to believe shes speaking the truth so thats good. This really hurt me though and I started to think well. Last night we had a good and deep conversation and she told me shes trying to see everything positive because otherwise she sais she will hate herself. She really is a nice and truly good girl that really cares for others but Im really worried she forgets to think about herself, causing her to get more and more down. Also it was hard for her to talk about herself because she doesnt want to hurt others, again, causing herself to get more and more down inside. Im just worried that she doesnt listen to herself and her care for others will eventually break herself down. What can I do to get her back on track not hating herself anymore, and are there even things I can do? Im sorry if it looks chaotic, Im just kinda having trouble getting the facts straight. In advance, thanks a lot for all of your help.
  2. alrightie guys, first of all im sorry if i make any grammar mistakes , that’s because English isn’t my native language, surely ms-office is doing a great job with auto correction (not that im complaing ) :D .. anyways, im 31 years old guy, the eldest one in the family among my siblings and cousins , currently separated (arranged marriage)not that it matters . I have never, not even once talked about what bothers me inside, my life , relationships or whats in my mind . girls would go like (if only I know what’s inside your head) , sadly, I find that talking about myself is a sign of weakness , I mean, who am I to talk about what bothers me , what makes me depressed and think about harming myself, while other people on this planet are getting raped, killed or living in the streets without a shelther, food , or even decent clothes to keep them warm at night. I think I developed a thought that I have no right to complain , I have a roof above my head, some food to eat and for that im thankful. I survived harming myself a few times. I really stopped caring about whether I live or die. People call me heartless cuz I say that truth no matter how it is without coating it. I don’t believe in love “sorry ladies” , to be honest, I made myself to believe that love is only an excuse for other people to get what they want. “I love you, give me your money, I love you, lets have sex” its always something you need to pay for being loved. Im sure you probably disagree and say that love is still around, I would say, probably, but not for me. I mean, to love someone, you’d be able to forgive your loved one even If they step over your head, me? The funny thing is , I used to be that nice guy that would forgive anyone, understand everything , if you slap me on the face, I’d be like “if it makes you happy, slap me more” . to be honest, I don’t miss my old self, its dead. And when I remember how kind and understanding I was, I would go puke. So what turned me like this you say? (hey if you aren’t wondering about that why are you reading?.. shoo , shoo!! Go away!!) :P “big sigh” , well… It all starts with the parents…. (I’ll pause here for a while cuz it triggered some bad memories, im going out for a while). Alrightie , my mother comes from a poor family , who was forced into marriage when she was 15 years old to distant relative who’s been rich. I came to this world. 1 year after that marriage. Well, I don’t remember my childhood , that’s for sure. Dad never really cared, the only thing he cared about was providing food for the family , the rest was thrown on mom. So, being abused by my dad’s side of the family, having no family support on her side at all , no money to do anything, completely trapped. She had to take out her stress on her children. And who’s the best candidate for that? The eldest one of course. After my mom grew a bit old. She’s like “I feel sorry for abusing you” and im like “don’t worry I forgive you” . I used to self harm a lot, cuz I stopped caring . I was one of the top students in school even though I never studied. When I graduated from high school, got a scholarship to the states? What do you think was my parents reply? .. “was that all you could do? You didn’t even get in to medicine college?” I was like “I don’t wanna operate on a human body that’s why I choose engineering”. (sigh again) . not even a hug, not even a word “congratulations” . Dad is a professor in a college, he’s rich, but his brain is so messed up, he thinks he’s better than everyone else, if its not his way, then its wrong. He often used to tell me “under my roof , under my rules” , I’d often go “**** your rules” and end up leaving the house, since I am the eldest in the whole family , my uncles and grandparents come to me, and tell me its my duty to go home and do whatever my dad tells me to , cuz that’s the duty of the eldest son. Having no where to go, no place to feel welcomed to I decided to go back to my home and stay there, be the good son that everyone wish to have. If I get abused, I say “yes , whatever you say”. Lets say I used to get abused up until I was 21 years old , I used to practice martial arts back then, whenever I was stressed , I used to go there, punch the punching bag. I used to pick fights in the streets , if someone bothers me while I am driving, I would ram my car into his . I even used to pick up fights with the cops. I don’t know how I managed to stay out of jail, probably my family’s influence . just to clear things up, my dad used to abuse my up as well. I used to think of it as practice for martial arts :P . I refused to take money from my parents cuz they kept humiliating me, so I used to work and study at the same time. s***ty jobs and often I barely have enough money just to pay for gas. I used to do the groceries for him, pick up my siblings from school and drop them there, do their errands, it was hell. Anyways…. I knew a girl , she was also rich, but of course she never knew about my relationship with my parents, I used to hide with a smile and lovely romantic behavior , roses, restaurants . it lasted for 8 years, when it came to marriage, she decided we weren’t right for each other since her family doesn’t want anyone with a different religion, I mean what happened to the promises? I had a fight with my family over here and did my part cuz my parents never agree on marrying someone outside of the family. When it came to her part, she said she was sorry and she found the right guy. Since im not a stalker . I wished her happiness and let her go. Met few girls after that and all I heard was “you’re a nice guy, but sorry, my ex wants me back , and I love him” (typical **** off line). I got depressed, really depressed , I had no freedom, no money , no friends , all those who are call themselves my friends were only around me cuz they wanned help with their studies, no love from parents or a girl friend, I used to spend my time alone at the beach looking at the sunrise and wondering , whats wrong with me? What have I done to deserve this, should I just die and leave everything behind, to put an end to this suffering? I got into lots of accidents, from speeding. all I heard was “WHAT THE **** DID YOU DO TO THE CAR NOW?” .. I mean the first thing you’d expect to hear would be “are you hurt? Are you ok?” , I never got it out of my parents. I got kicked out of college for absence , I was too depressed to attend classes, I would just go to the library and help some students who had problems, and never show up for the midterms or finals . I was a ******* mess. Of course , after I got kicked out of college. No one knew for 2 years. I used to pretend that I was attending classes , then I decided to blow it. Wow, my parents were really disappointed in me, neither of them would talk to me for 6 months or even allow me to have a meal with them,yet, they still demanded that I help my siblings with their school and errands. I lost 25 kg (50 lb or so) , no sleep , no food. Just thinking about dying. After that I had to borrow some money, save a lot of money and decided to go to a trip to paris alone , I spent 15 days, done crazy stuff , got a busted knee, I couldn’t go back to martial arts anymore. It was over. After that, on a rainy day, I was walking alone in the rain, thinking “whats the point in all this?” after that, I decided to change, no more being nice guy, no more letting people step over my head. No more giving a s*** about other people. Love does not exist, I started filling my head with thoughts and came back another person. I went back, decided to continue college, got a deploma in mechanics , sadly that year wasn’t a good year, so they didn’t send students on scholarship even though I was the 2nd best of all students. I got a job. The 1st thing that my parents would do is to make me get married to a relative, to strengthen the bonds between the two families , they had to put the fake smiles and show what a perfect family we are. To be honest, I didn’t care , so I decided to agree. Was living 8 years of my life with a person that I don’t know anything about, I don’t love, I had 0 common things, we don’t like the same food, we don’t like the same style of clothes, colors we never shared the same opinion , we don’t have the same mentality. She’s one of the rich spoiled people who doesn’t give a s*** about anything as long as she buys guccie and prada , shoes, bags , dresses, diamonds , or spend a night at the w-resort in the Maldives, that’s like 1700 bucks a night? I have a 5 years old son , and 2 on the way. She fills up his head with bulls*** and he often comes to me and ask why cant mommie lives with you. Anyways, I might have to get her back, cuz I want my son to have a normal life, a childhood and happy moments. I have never been drunk , not even once in my life. I don’t drink even. I don’t know what would happen if I lose control over my brain and let go. Anyways, what am I now? I am the kinda guy who you’d come to when you’re in trouble, listen to your problems, give some nice advice. Or just listen without saying anything, when someone asks me “don’t you wanna talk to me about what bothers you?” I’d reply “don’t worry your problem is a lot bigger than mine”, I would go to http://lifesucksbigtime.com/ , give advice and try to cheer people up. I love animals more than human .. anyways, im usually nice to kids , somehow they do not fear my scary looks , if I see a kid crying in the street I usually go there and buy some candy and give it to the parent , or make some funny faces to cheer them up , I’ve been called crazy many times in my life , I think only crazy people with no restrains can enjoy life. Right now im a certified diver, I dived with sharks and been to some nice wrecks at night , its so scary, but amazing at the same time. My son is the reason im staying a live right now. Im the good employee, I tell jokes, make everyone smile and laugh , when someone is in trouble I help them out. If 2 friends have a problem with each other, they end up dragging me in between and I fix them “including my parents and their sons and daughters” how ironic. But you know whats funny ? do you ever have the feeling that you’re surrounded by many people? But yet, you’re lonely? I despise family gathering, cuz yet, I have to put a fake smile, and listen to everyone nagging about how they couldn’t travel or buy the newest model car. Now you’re wondering, ok whats wrong? Why are you depressed? Why are you here? I admit ,my problem is not like everyone else, I managed to pull myself up , I don’t wanna **** myself but I don’t care how im living my life (that’s an improvement, right?) . I don’t hate my parents, I just feel sorry for them, cuz I wont visit their graves when they die, I wont remember the happy moments I spent with them cuz I don’t have any , I did not have a childhood or a normal teenaged life. I am depressed cuz im alone , I have no real friends, it would be months or even years for someone to call me and say “hey, I was just wondering how you are” , even though I used to call them all the time to ask about their health. They only call me when they are having a bad day. I have no one that loves me, someone who shares a passion with me. Im alone, yes , some of u would say I already have a son… but I want a special person, who’s only nice to me cuz they care about me. Thinking about me when im gone. Sad if im sad, happy when im happy. Who’d nag at me until I tell them what bothers me. Sadly im only surrounded by materialistic people , like once a girl, called me crying and wants to die cus her parent didn’t buy her 7000 bucks guccie bag -.- Sometimes I wanna blow up, scream , shout, bash things. That’s when I lock myself at home until it passes away . I don’t know, compared to lots of people , my problem is the silliest one, im all alone at night, at work, when I travel. I just hope I don’t die alone. The only way to keep myself from going insane is to keep tipping people, giving some change to bums in the streets, looking for people who are suffering and help them out. Volunteer to help animals. But in the end, I always wonder, who’s gonna be there to help me. I haven’t cried for 15 years . I think I developed a second personality, but I don’t wanna talk about that. It’s the 1st time I talk about my past, whats in my mind , and what I did , what I do. Its never easy to tell people around that you need to talk to, but they never care. I think its easier to be invisible, talk about your life and vanish. So I wont talk about my life anymore, I only talked about what comes to my mind . I hate people seeing my conversations , so If you wanna help , or you wanna talk, just send me a pm, and I promise I’ll reply. If not, thank you for wasting your time reading this crap :) . i dont know, maybe this step would make it easier to be open about whats inside me. i have to admit , telling the story makes me feel stupid. but im glad im not alone who's suffering from the same problem. thats it , i guess.
  3. I have a friend who was dumped by her boyfriend of over a year not too long ago. We three were mutual friends so both of them talked to me about their relationship often, and I got both sides of every issue that they ever had. Recently the guy, "Steven," broke up with the girl, "Sandra," because she was too clingy, needy, and obsessed, according to him. He told me he grew to fear her and that his parents did as well, which is why he decided to keep his distance for a while. Sandra, noticing her boyfriend's increasing distance, persisted even more in trying to get his attention again, until finally he ended it with her. When that happened, Sandra began getting paranoid, asking me to find out whether Steven dumped her due to there being someone else, or whether he dumped her for some other reason she doesn't know about. I found nothing to report other than just her attitude. Regardless, Sandra took the breakup hard, and started saying things like, "Luis, this hurts so much. I've had my heart broken five times now, and this time by someone I never thought would hurt me. I'm never going to have a boyfriend again. I just want it all to end now." I assumed by "I want it all to end now," she meant the heartbreak, but then she completely lost contact with me, which makes me assume the worst now. Could she have meant her life? If so, what should I do? She never told me where she lives these days, though I could find her if I tried. Should I try? Or should I assume nothing and remain neutral? If I should try, what should I do or say?
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