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Found 8 results

  1. My husband and I are estranged. We have a 16 month old daughter together, but he's been kicked out and living with his mom since December of 2010. He is a cronic alcohol abuser and has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. He hasn't been cooperative about seeking treatment or finding a job either. Two days ago he was drunk and told his mother he'd **** her in her sleep. She called the cops and they found a knife under his bed. He's now in jail charged with a felony. I don't know what to think, how to feel, or what to do. I never thought he was dangerous before, but now I think he might be. Any advice or people in similar situations? Please and thank you.
  2. Hi guys, sorry if wrong forum. Been here a while. To cut a long story short I've been depressed since my 11 (Im 29 now). Was diagnosed 3 yrs ago and have been up and down from 5 - 60mg citalopram since. I've worked full time through most of it. I've just allowed myself to be written off for 2 weeks as I work in a University and I can. Had counselling twice. Once for 12 weeks, 1 session at my work place that I knew wasn't right so offered it to someone else. Talking through my problems isn't what I need. I've started the mental health team process before to access cbt, but by the time I get in I'm happy on citalopram and I can't access other therapies because at that point I'm feeling pretty happy. High doses of citalopram don't agree with other parts of my body. And I can't face the 4-6 weeks hell of a med change. I'm not on Bupa and I'm looking at exploring private options so I can get help when I need it. Any advice from other UK NHS'ers around? Your experience? My best friend is an OT in mental health but she's on hol for a month and I ain't putting this on her again. Thanks! Anton
  3. This guy asked me out and I'm fine with that, I would like to stay away from alcohol and drugs from now on. It's been about a month and I want to keep going, now that I'm not on my meds, those are the two things that put me in a suicidal state the next day. He doesn't know me at all, we met through his sister which I also just met. He asked me out for "drinks" were in our earliest twenties....it's never just one drink. Even just one drink gets me buzzed bc I never drink and I'm way more sensitive bc again....stopped the meds. So how do I say no I guess in a nice way? And no I can't tell him why that would be out of the question. I thought about suggesting something else, but there is nothing else to do. As a first date, the movies suck you can't talk to each other. Dinner is a little over the top...so what's left? not much...especially in this dead beat town. Nothing out doors bc it's still too cold. It's driving me nuts.
  4. Hello Everyone, So its my fifth day on Prozac, 20mg to start, I had taken it years back in 2005 and I dont remember how long it took to work, or how I felt. So its making me really nervous now. I cant sleep much at night, feeling wired, and inside all I wanna do is sleep. I find that deep breathing is helping. Had bad headaches the first two days, but seems like those have past. By the end of me taking my meds the last time I was taking 40mg, so im assuming maybe this time ill have to up it. I know this is just the begining but I was so scared to go back on these meds since I havent been on them for so long and didnt want the feeling of being high. How does the medication work to stop my mind from going a mile a min, or being depressed and not having any motivation? along with the symptons of anxiety like tense neck shoulders, lump in throat, tummy aches and being restless? I know it must work some how because it got me out of my slump years back and was the only thing that helped me, I felt like it saved me. I also did some therapy with a group of others who have anxiety like myself which helped, Im waitng to hear back from the hospital so I can get back into that group. Just holding on, seems like Ill never be the old me, I just want me back. Wish I could rewind back a couple of weeks to when I felt normal, and didnt wake up everyday worrying about how am i going to get thru the day, or the hour and not have all these symptons.
  5. Well, I've been thinking a lot about this. I've been called out for my laziness, lack of motivation, immaturity, etc. I mean, I think after 32 years, I've earned the right to be a Biotch. I still hold a lot of anger and bitterness inside from various things in my life. I was physically abused at home, bullied at school, never felt like I fit in anywhere...I could go on. Over the last few years, I've noticed just how angry I've become. Never done or said anything about it til recently. Never been good at letting go or forgiveness. A part of me just wants emotional vengeance/karma for a lot of stuff. I do pageants, mostly for self confidence, but partly cause I feel I have something to prove to all the haters/doubters in my life. So...here I am. I'm ready to make some big changes. I know what I need to change...my lack of motivation/gratitude/organization/self confidence/acceptance/good hygiene, my anger issues, negativity/pessimism, forgiveness, loneliness, paranoia, worrying, priorities, need for attention/praise, time management...you name it. I've said that before, but I never knew where to begin. I don't know...I guess I'm more focused on living in the moment. As long as I'm content, I don't care about anything else. Yeah, I can be selfish, or just not care. I mean, I'd honestly rather be in my head most of the time...and of course, there are those times when being in my head is the worst place I can be. I know I'm rambling right now, but I just needed to put it out there. I mean...I'm sick of talking and feeling like nobody's listening or caring. Thanks for putting up with me.
  6. I stumbled on this forum after hours of reading/researching to find out what's going on with me lately. I'm not even sure if this forum is very active, but I felt as if I had to post no matter what just in case there's some hope of getting some help figuring all this out. I'm a new member, so please excuse me if I'm not posting in the right place or make other mistakes. I'm a 29 year old male, and recently I seem to be experiencing several symptoms of many disorders, so it's overwhelming to try to figure this out on my own. Most of my life I've been a very upbeat and happy person. There have been major traumatic events in my life, during which I was very depressed, but for the most part and certainly when there's nothing devastating going on I am a happy person. I'm not sure if I actually was clinically depressed through some of those events or if I was just responding naturally to those life events. In any case, I feel it necessary to let that little bit of background be known to hopefully help identify what's going on now. After being laid off for six months about two years ago, I found a very good job that I've been at since then. The job requires extensive travel away from home, but my first few assignments made it possible for me to be close to home and also have my wife with me while on the road. I was home for about three weeks during this past Christmas, and for the past month and the last two or three months in 2011 things have been much different. My monthly schedule is to be on the road working wherever (we don't get much notice of assignment changes) with two weekends home per month. That includes a travel day on either side of the weekend, which is usually spent flying and recovering from the travel and adjustment to being back home or back at work. I used to love the travel part of the job, but after returning to work from Christmas, things have been really tough. As soon as I walked into the hotel room the first night I was overwhelmed with a sudden depressed feeling. Things have gone down steadily from there. While I was at home during the last week of December, I was prescribed Adipex (phentermine) to help with weight loss. While I was at home this past weekend my doctor took me off this medication, because he says he needs to do a month on and month off rotation because of the potential for serious side effects. He took me off this past Friday, so that morning was my last dose, and that night and Saturday night were terrible. I was very depressed, anxious, terrified, etc. On Sunday afternoon, my mood changed and I felt like things were getting better. After thinking about how I'd been feeling this past month and reading about the side effects of this medication and talking with my wife and how I felt, we chalked it up to it was all caused by the medication. That was until tonight anyway. I got back on the road yesterday and things were fine last night except I couldn't sleep well at all. Today, I felt just like I did the weeks before, even though all of the medication had passed from my system completely. I'll try to be specific here so you can get a feel for what I'm thinking and feeling in hopes you can help me understand what's going on. I lack motivation to do anything. I used to jump up in the mornings and look forward to doing my job with energy despite lack of sleep. Now it takes giving myself a pep talk to get up and go outside to go to a meeting. I feel very, very depressed. I have lost interest in things that I would normally enjoy and don't get satisfaction out of doing them anymore. I am close to tears almost all day long, which is definitely not normal for me. That's not a macho guy thing either, I'm comfortable with crying if there's a good reason, but this is when I'm just sitting in the hotel or driving or laying in bed watching tv or something. I'm very scared/anxious/nervous/panicked all the time. I've had several panic attacks in the last month, and they seem to be getting worse. I feel trapped. I feel hopeless, like this will never get better. I feel guilty. My job is a great one, and it's one I enjoy. I earn a very good living and can provide for my wife and I like I never thought possible before. However, now I'm stuck. The economy sucks, I was laid off for a long time before finding this job in the middle of the recession, and there's nothing else that could come close to what I have now... so trying to find something else in my mind isn't even realistic. I'm going to be saving a bit this year to start putting my wife through nursing school starting next year, but I'm especially trapped with her not working. I feel like the walls are slowly closing in all around me and I can't breathe. I've worded things and arranged this information in a way that may affect the objectiveness of another person reading it. I've tried very hard to not assume or even think I know what's going on or what could be causing all this, but I know I'm biased. The truth is, I have no freaking clue what the hell is going on, and I'm even less qualified to be the judge of its cause. Was it the medication? Not sure, but the symptoms were present slightly before starting it and are still present now. Is it being away from home? I have no idea, but it seems to be contributing to the symptoms. Is it the weather change? No clue. Is it a true biological cause (serotonin, dopamine, etc. deficiency)? Who knows... During the big life events I talked about before, I had doctors diagnose me with everything underneath the sun and subject me to dozens of medications to the point I felt like a lab rat. Because of that, I'm not too keen on the idea of visiting a doc just to have him treat me with his script pad, but at this point something HAS TO GIVE!!! I'm completely, I don't know what I was going to say. To say I'm sad is an understatement, but I'm sure most people around here are familiar with these feelings I'm trying to describe. I can't focus, on anything, can't remember much, have many symptoms of ADHD, major depressive disorder, general anxiety disorder, some of bipolar (not so much), hypothyroidism, and the list goes on and on. I would never try to diagnose myself, but those are just the symptoms I have. It's terribly frustrating to not know what's going on and to have it just get worse and worse. During the past weekend while I was at home, my wife and I decided it would be a good idea for me to make an appointment with a psychiatrist on my next weekend home. However, after my mood improved greatly on Sunday, we dismissed everything as being caused by the medication I was on for weight control and thought everything was over. I haven't yet told her that things are back to terrible, because I don't want her to worry like she did before. So now, things are back to the way they were, except now I'm also without a person to talk to about it because I don't want her to worry. This is quickly becoming way more than I can handle alone, and I'm not sure I have any other option besides seeking professional help... I'm just worried to death about the possible consequences of doing that. I really can't afford to have a doctor admit me in-patient for observation or anything like that. I know my job would "understand" my needing to take a week or so off, but I can't go through that, and maybe they wouldn't understand. I can't afford to lose my job, and I can't afford to look for another one closer to home or without travel, and I really can't afford to keep feeling this way because I just feel like I'm going to double over in a heart attack any second from the anxiety, but I know it's just a panic attack. I just feel like I can't do this s*** anymore... and as my ability to hold back the tears until this point has been lost, I need to end my rambling. Please, if you think you may have any clue whatsoever as to what the hell is going on or what I should do, please share. I know there are likely no professionals here, but that's not what I want right now. I just need someone who can be objective and is removed from the situation to tell me their opinion. Thanks in advance.
  7. Hi guys, I have had depression most of my life, I've identified it, and am dealing with it - most people know now (friends and family) and the meds keep me up. Still going through NHS hoops to get the right help - but that's another story. My partner of 10 yrs is struggling to know what to do. He gives me advice - but It's from his head and how he feels. I think he needs some coping mechanisms himself and learn what not to say, how to encourage and how to deal with things when I'm bad. He's in it for the long run. I want to try and point him in the right direction to get some help on how to deal with me when I'm bad or just generally without making me feel worse. At the moment, only people who have had depression and anxiety seem to understand what I'm going through and I think he needs some help, resources, things he can read. I'm building him an online notebook of links or places he can go to understand as an outsider of my illness - he's not depressed but he says I'm making him depressed! Any advice? Sticky's on this forum? Websites for help? How does your other half cope? I've told him to look at my 'Mind over Mood' book and DF but not sure if that's the best advice for him. Thanks xx
  8. Hello there. I am hoping to seek some kind of advice on the relationship topic. As a little background, I've been abused most of my life, by family and my boyfriends so i don't really trust people, nor do i have the self confidence to really keep a relationship because i usually push them away.. BUT... In this new year i told myself that i WOULD be mood-happy again (and what a struggle!) 3 years in the making with my therapist and i can ALMOST see the end of the happy tunnel ha ha ha! ( or would it be the beginning ? anywho...) So i have a spectacular boyfriend now, and yes i have said this before but really and truely he is.. He really cares about me and wanting me to get better, which is turn makes me i feel worse.. Possible? AH! I have some insecurities that he will leave me, cheat on me, lose interest... does he show any signs of this? NO, of course not. But i seem to try to find something about him or set up situations to purposely get into arguments to tell myself, OH he is horrid! Wow, what my mind goes through to keep up with it's depression! Bottom line is, I want to get better and he does too, but he doesn't know how to cope with someone who is depressed (I am his first real gf, he is really big into his work ...) So really we have a very hard time seeing eye-to-eye on issues. Plus he is really positive, so when i try to explain depression to him, he basically just doesn't get it. Let's just say he is emotionless and i am over emotional. You can see the conflict that could arise. How can i get him to become MORE emotional so i can be LESS? I feel like if he were more then i wouldn't feel the need to possibly bring out over emotions to see his emotions, if that makes sense...
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