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Found 4 results

  1. Has anyone ever felt liek you could never function in society, meaning like it would be etter to just not live than to go through life and face challenges? I mean I'm not suicidal, but sometimes I just wonder, is life worth it? What do you all think?
  2. Let me start from the beginning and god i hope this doesn't sound stupid. In school i was never popular.. Well. I never had like 20 friends.. I had friends, maybe like 6 or 7 but i never felt important in school.. I never felt wanted or needed.. I had plenty of girl friends but i was always nervous and always worried about things people were not even close to thinking about.. Only one girl made me feel comfortable. People in school were not nice and it did not help one bit. I was also a slow learner and i have ADHD. Not really hyper anymore like i was. I've calmed down a lot and grew out of it.. I graduated from high school and everything was fine there.. But now time has passed.. I had a hard time getting a job and often didn't have the enthusiasm or "spark" to really try and find one. I can't start college without a job and I'm not using student loans.. I got a job for about 5 months and then i got laid off. It sucked. Now i'm 22 and still trying to get a job.. Hoping i can start my life and move on.. But i feel like it's better for me to just "stop trying" and give up rather then trying. Which brings me to the reason i wrote this. For the longest time (as long as i can remember) I've always had a lot of anxiety but not to an extreme case. I don't worry my health will plummet and all else will fail. I mostly worry that people will think of me in a bad manner. Like i'm weird, or not equal to them. I also worry some one will see me as being dumb or stupid.. I also become intimidated easily which you can imagine is not good for the job world, but i do okay. I worry that i won't be able to support my self.. That i don't have what it takes to go in the real world and for the life of me i can't figure out why i feel like this.. I'm not overweight, or ugly. I'm a nice person if your nice to me. But i also believe these feelings, the way i think is slowly destroying me inside.. I can't stop but wonder what others will think and it makes me be and feel weird and yet i can't help it. I do things because i feel weird.. Yet it's what makes me feel weird in the first place!!! It also makes me feel very sad.. I will think how i may not be able to be as good as everyone else. Like no one will ever look up to me. In fact i can get so nervous my hands will shake but that does not happen often at all. I will actually put my self down thinking i am not as good or won't ever be successful and have a life of my own. So my questions to you is not a solution, because i know a solution will not be as easy as a Yahoo Answer or a forum post. Just tell me what you think is wrong.. I believe the only cure for this is to get what i'm afraid i can't get. To be happy and on my own.. With some one who loves me for me being me. to higher my self esteem and feel better about my over all well being. Break the barriers that make me like this. Some tell me i am just fine, that everyone goes through this and others will say i have depression and need to get it treated or looked at. But i don't know. The above was posted on Yahoo Answers a while ago and while i still got answers i was not pleased with the answers. So i figured I'd come to a much better place for that. The above is all true. I'm telling you this like your family.
  3. Hello, I don't post on here normally but I have nowhere else to turn. I have been in a relationship for nearly 4 years. My boyfriend makes me the happiest person ever and I love him more than anything. But I never listened. I had been more ratty than usual over the past year, snapping at little things. I knew I was depressed, and he told me to ring the doctor. I never did, and things went too far and the other day after one little argument, he snapped and said he never wants to see me again. It is totally my fault for being too scared to phone the doctors. I have lost the love of my life because of it. So today, I finally got the courage to ring the doctor. My appointment is at quarter to 5. It is good that I am helping myself but I have still lost him. He is so so so mad and so so hurt, he just doesn't see any hope for us and says our relationship isn't real as we argued too much. I feel so alone and angry at myself. It was all my fault and now I've pushed him so far away without even realising it, I can't get him back. He went out the night we broke up and got drunk and then apparently sat in the corner of the club all moody, I hate to know I have hurt him this much. He is coming over for 5 minutes on Wednesday so we can exchange stuff, it is breaking my heart. He knows I am going the doctors now, but it is too late for us. I have ruined everything. Now I am going the doctors in a few hours, but I am wondering how it will help. How can life go on when I have let myself lose the person who loved me so so so deeply? I have hurt him so much, I don't even think there is anyway to get him back. What do I do? Please help.
  4. Last night I was alone at home. My roommates, who happen to be my boyfriend and one of my brothers, went to go play Magic: The Gathering at their friend's house. I was down and laying on the couch, as per usual, and my boyfriend kept asking if I was going to be OK, that I should do something, etc. He was trying to help and gt a little mad that I was being uncooperative, but at the time I was upset that I was going to be alone and didn't want to do anything. He kept asking if I wanted him to stay, and I secretly did, but I didn't want to ruin his night. I also need to learn that I'm going to be alone sometimes; nobody is going to be with me all the time. So they left after a bit, and I lay there for a moment, then hop on the computer before deciding I was just going to sleep. But when I decided that, the next thought that ran through my head frightened me: "Yeah I'll just go to sleep, and never wake up." Personally, even with my issues, I've never contemplated taking my own life. I've always thought that it wasn't the right way, no matter how I felt or what position I was in. It wasn't worth it to me. I don't know how that ever crossed my mind, especially as such a verbal thought, but it did, and I was scared. Not that I was going to unwillingly take my own life right there or something, it scared me more that it was there for just that split second. Then, my paranoia and my mother's little worries she pounded into me when I was young started to kick in; what if I have like, a heart attack in my sleep? What if there's an electrical fire from the space heater? What if this and that... I lay down anyway, still worried to death. I text my boyfriend and try to explain to him why I want him to text me every so often to wake me up, without telling him why. I wanted to tell him, but I also didn't want him to think I was actually trying to take my life. I've been hesitant in telling my boyfriend about my issues, cause he's talked about how crazy his previous girlfriends have been. I've been with him for three years now, and I love him and he loves me, and we've both decided we're in this relationship for the long haul. I'm just afraid if I tell him these things, he'll begin to think I'm another crazy girlfriend waiting to happen and dump me. That's the very last thing I need right now. But obviously, I woke up and I'm here this morning, feeling a lot better. I haven't done anything yet today, even showered. I should.
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