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About piscesdreamer68

  • Birthday 02/28/1968

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    Music, metaphysics and spirituality, books,

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  1. I just got a sample pack but haven't started it yet. All the others have failed so i'm a little hesitant of starting yet another psych med.
  2. ...Wow so many catholic's. I don't think an almighty god is going to sentence you to an eternity in hell for checking out early. But please by all means do not not listen to me on this all so important topic.
  3. Maybe it was the turn down for sex if it was flowing the way in which you described....but if it went that well he should at least give you a second shot at it. Just coming from a guy's perspective, at least I would.
  4. I'm in the process of divorcing my wife and am living in another residence so basically we are separated. I am the last one of my family living in CT, the rest have moved on to florida and colorado. I'm trying to get up the energy and momentum to move to another state to be with family but man, starting all over again is so hard. I mean I've done it so many times in my life but being in my mid 40's now, and at the level my depression is at, I don't know if i have the battery for a complete life change. I was much more confident when i was younger and traveled all over trying to start a new life, now i'm not so self assured to use a Beatles lyric. Starting all over in another state scares me, but it would be nice to be around family again...I feel very isolated and sad.
  5. I think that I lack foresight, I don't realize what I have/had till it's gone. The old adage you don't miss the water till your well runs dry rings true for me. This has played out so many times in my life, I just don't get it till later. I read something by Kierkegaard that was rather profound " Life can only be understood backwards but must be lived forward". So I'm constantly plagued with regret and long for things which were or what I thought they were at the time, maybe my idealized idea of what they were anyways. The moment, I keep missing it...I miss what the moment has but it's already floated down stream by the time I realize what it was.
  6. I think one of the most useless and pathetic emotions a person can feel is that futile sense of longing, and yet I am plagued by it. Wishing for things in the past or that should have been or yet could be, yuck...i hate that, yet it visits me everyday! I think that is a key component to my depression, longing for that which no longer exists or could exist. The past haunts me, the present haunts me, the future haunts me....all shadowed by this never ending sense of longing.
  7. Uh you sound a lot like me, where I am now 44 and have been bouncing between Connecticut, Florida and Colorado for the last 20 years...as my family is all spread out now and I no longer know where I fit in. You don't want to be me
  8. Truly an interesting thread, I do believe modern culture is producing more people with mental illness than ever before. The internet has changed people and society in strange and unpredictable ways. Which has led to such things as depression, isolation, and alienation on a level we are not yet comprehending, like watching a tv screen up close. We are losing touch with the basics and there will be, and clearly are huge consequences.
  9. I can't seem to find a med that works for me, I've tried several. I was recently put on prednisone for my sinuses, which i have three times now, and the stuff makes me feel great. No depression, focus, energy, clarity and motivation. What is it in prednisone that makes me feel this way. I know you can't stay on it so I need to find it's pharmaceutical cousin. Has anyone ever had that effect on prednisone?
  10. Yeah thanks Tim that's what it was, I'm lucky to be even typing right now as I was in the car with a severely drunk driver who had a total meltdown, then my wife has a meltdown, Now I'm just shell shocked and unclear on what next weekend will bring, but it won't be bringing a repeat scenario I can say that much.
  11. First off I went out with an old friend who was my best old drinking buddy, I went out with him against my better judgement because I was bored and lonely but ended up almost getting myself killed. Then my wife, with whom I am trying to separate with, and which she doesn't want, had a severe and emotional melt down on me this morning. I find myself rather numb trying to process this weekend.... been a rough weekend. Ok I'm still here, but I'm still depressed, perhaps even more so.
  12. There is a way of changing ones state of being through spiritual practice, that will change your state of being but it takes work.
  13. Hey we all got our own stuff going on, relevant to our particular circumstances. This life isn't easy bro, we're all just trying to do it the best we can.
  14. Geez Trailer, brother, there is more to life than just vocation. Don't let the other programmed people tell you that is all life is about because that's not true. Ok so your not going to be a total academic success if life, big whoop. That seems to be all your wrapped up into, is your education and commensurate job opportunity... can you think bigger or rather beyond those narrow confines? There are so many other options in life than that besides dropping over the edge. Do something radical and screw the rat race oriented people's opinions on what life should be. Walk your own path, the hell with them. Free your mind!
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