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shinghan

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  1. Hey people. Just a random post because I'm really frustrated with myself. Just every single time I write down or say I'm going to do something. On the day of, I fall flat. I stay at home and don't do anything. Like yesterday I wanted to go to YMCA and get a membership to go to the gym. I bought and prepped everything weeks before. On the day of I gave up. This happens all the time for me. The little motivation that I have I lose. When I look back to my past I find that I've done this for so many years. It's such a bad habit. My psychologist and psychiatrist have been suggesting me to start exercising. Anyone else feeling this?
  2. Pretty much as the title says. My personal situation got me depressed since highschool and since then I've become more and more depressed. I've been hopelessly depressed for at least a year as far as I can remember. I'm one of those people who will try something for like a few minutes and give up right away. I just don't know how anyone can get out of this feeling.
  3. As the title says! Just wondering if anyone else avoids talking to close friends/family because you don't want them to know you're not doing well? I've been avoiding my best friends and my family entirely ever since I moved provinces. I've been having a lot more occurrences of severe episodes of depression. I don't want to lie to them so I avoid them completely. I don't burden anyone with my problems. I also hate being asked what's going on in my life and related things. Anyone else do this as well? How do you deal with a situation like this?
  4. Hey guys! I'm trying to figure out why I keep doing the things I do. I've been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and depression. I have a lot of interests and hobbies I want to do. Everytime I attempt to do something (eg. learn a computer language or learning to draw) I always start it just a tiny bit and then stop. I would maybe read a few pages of a chapter and then stop. After that I then go back to playing games, watching videos, or do something else entirely. It would take at least a few days to weeks, and even months before I try and pursue them again. This cycle really affects my life a lot. Is this procrastination? I know that I lack a lot of motivation to even get started on anything. Any answers, advice, suggestions are appreciated.
  5. Hey guys! I'm new to this forum and I wanted to start off posting something that's been on my mind every single day. I've been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety in my third year of university. It's had a profound effect on my life. I've been having the same recurring thoughts over and over each day and it's making me have mixed feelings about it. I took a Design and Technology class throughout my high school years and found that it has opened the doors to my interests in architecture. I decided against it in grade 12 for a few reasons. One was the stress from my family. My sister who pretty much acted as my mother all my life put some stress on me. She didn't voice her opinion about it, but I could sense that she wanted me to go into the sciences. It was a strong point, but I didn't see myself going anywhere with it. The second reason was due to the universities requiring a portfolio. My teacher saw a lot of potential in me and tried to push me into applying into architecture, but I didn't tell him that I barely anything to contribute to a portfolio. I think it was being afraid of embarrassment or something. I didn't take any other arts classes and didn't do anything else that would help. The last reason was the interview portion of the application. Due to my social anxiety I felt a lot of anxiety just thinking about the prospect of an interview, especially long and personal ones. Even after all that, I still went into biochemistry. That was the year I first found out about social anxiety from a friend I met there. He mentioned he has similar feelings of anxiety and fear in social situations and it all went away after taking up his first job in fast food. He warned me to take a job asap or else I'll be having a lot of trouble later on in life. He was right on that point. I felt a lot of social withdrawal after first year and began hating biochemistry in my second year. I kept thinking back to my poor choices of neglecting what I really wanted to do. I should have stayed back a year in high school and focus on building my portfolio. I failed a few courses and gave up studying and quickly switched to attending school in Toronto because I could get assistance on my social anxiety. I still chose to go to school because I felt that I would disappoint my family if I told that I would be taking a year off. My third year, I chose computer science as a major randomly. I started going to a psychiatrist. Didn't help a lot though. I failed a couple more courses and stopped seeing my psychiatrist entirely because the meetings didn't help me at all. I'm on my off year right now. Seeing a psychotherapist with more progress than before. My focus: - continue therapy - volunteer at a couple of places for a month or so - take up a job, do some career exploration even though my mind seems set on architecture - asking professionals in their job - job shadowing Not sure why I'm posting this, but any comments would be great!
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