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Veruca

Senior Member
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Veruca last won the day on February 8 2013

Veruca had the most liked content!

About Veruca

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday December 3

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Into the woods
  • Interests
    I love to read, write. I love music and movies. I love to play with my cat and walk and play with my dog.

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  1. Veruca

    Where is Autumn?

    I am a person that lives for Autumn, the first sign of a cool breeze or the lovely scent of burning leaves gives me a true moment of real joy. I keep waiting for Autumn to arrive and there is no sign of it. Yes, in a few days it will arrive but how can I enjoy it when the weather is in the high 80's almost 90 degrees. I look outside to see leaves changing to yellow, orange and red and then I step outside to heat. It's just this big disappointment. I just keep telling myself that soon it will arrive. I keep holding on for it...
  2. @Duck and @CoolCat7 Thank you for being so kind to me! I really needed to post here and just air things! I am still struggling with making the big leap of ending a friendship. I don't have any money at the moment but if I have a good work wee I promise to give some to help lioninwinter out.
  3. I don't know, it seems like anytime my life starts to get better things kind of turn bad again. I have been in a friendship with someone for years and it just isn't good for me anymore and yet I keep holding on to it. It's so hard to say good bye to someone that has been such a big part of my life for some many years. I was good for them as they told me over and over but in the end they were not good for me. The problem is once they are gone I will spend even more time alone. My husband and I are on a completely different schedules and I am up all night working so I spend so much time alone already. I really am not looking forward to spending even more time alone. Also, they are my friend even if the friendship is not healthy for me I love them dearly. I just know the friendship is not good for me anymore. Sometimes losing a friend little by little can feel as bad as losing a boyfriend or girlfriend. I keep thinking I am gonna be better and my depression will be gone for good but it doesn't go away and here I am back again dealing with depression, loneliness and helplessness. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe jut writing how I feel at the moment here will make me feel better.
  4. Azealia ~Thank you for the hugs and the kind words. (((hugs)))
  5. For me it's things like taking care of my doggy first thing after I wake up. She keeps me going even on days that I feel like I can't face another day. My little girl wags her tail and follows me around telling me that she needs her potty time and her Gigi cheese. She has allergies so the vet told me to give her one Benedryl a day. I wrap it in American cheese to get her to eat it. Also, my kitties Boo and Frostbite. Frostbite was a stray that adopted us at Christmas 2014. He was the tiniest of kittens but now he is big and fat. He thinks I am his furry Mommy and he always hangs out next to or on me. He bathes me all the time and snuggles up next to me. I love to bury my nose behind hs kitty ear and sniff him. He still has that kitten smell if you can believe it!
  6. Right now I just have a blue rose on my ankle but, I plan to get more tattoos very soon. I want to get something Fall and bat related on my wrist. I also want to get lyrics from a Third Eye Blind song on the inside of my arms.
  7. I just finished "The Hypnotist's Love Story" by Liane Moriarty and it was far better than I expected. The only book I really loved by her so far has been "Big Little Lies". The book I am reading now though is "Sister Sister" by Sue Fortin. My Kindle has informed me I am only 23% in but I feel that I have already figured out the whole book already.
  8. Thank you Cat. (((hugs))) I am sending you nothing but the warmest of thoughts to you. I am feeling so odd. the friend that I have been talking about, the one I feel I am losing is my ex. I think because we have been friends for so many years and something else once before the feelings of losing this friendship is even extra hard. It's not that I have anything other than a deep friendship kind of love but, how do you say goodbye to someone that has been in my life for so long. When I broke it off years and years ago we had promised one another that we would stay friends and it actually worked. He still had feelings for me and I know in many ways he still does but he has always respected my marriage but he never hid his feelings for me. I think that in many ways that has gotten in the way. Now the friendship is fading and I have such few real friends in my life I am feeling very much alone. I envy people that have so many friends and the loss of one great friend hurts but does not devastate them. Gosh, sometimes I feel like I come off as such a drama queen!
  9. An episode of Dateline on OWN right now.
  10. I am worried because my work has slowed down a lot. It is always hit or miss but it seems to be more miss than hit this time around. This is my main form of income and for reasons that are hard to explain getting a different job is just not in the cards right now. I have three different places that I work but only one pays the bills and takes care of the bills. The other two places are not busy enough for me to make money to even be paid each week. I have had two out of my three days this week with no money what so ever. So, I am scared. Please keep me in your thoughts as I always keep all of you. I may not come here all the time but, I always think of each and every one of you. Thank you for always being a safe place. Squirrel~ I am sending you extra good thoughts as you go through this.
  11. How do I feel? I feel lost and alone. I have been MIA as of late not just from here but, from everywhere. Today, I felt as if I better come here. Come to the place that understands. I have not been able to move away from my sad, dark feelings since the election. It was really hard to deal with the aftermath and this presidency is already so stressful. There is also the fact that I am dealing with the death of a few of my very close friendships. Just drifting apart. I am losing one of my very best friends. A person I talk to every day but, we are losing touch with one another. We have nothing in common anymore and I feel as I am in mourning the death of the friendship before it happens. I just know that sooner or later there will be nothing left. I live in a rural area and don't have many people I can share with and it never used to bother me but, I feel more and more alone even with my hubby. He and I are on two different schedules so it can be hard. Loneliness can sometimes be heartbreaking....
  12. I have been feeling more and more lost recently. I have been just going online to work more than anything else. This has been such a bad year and the things just keep piling on and on. First off the election sent me into a tale spin and then things just got worse. My sweetie gets a few debit cards as payment for things he sells at work and it was a welcome help. One of the cards pays for most of our groceries every month and the other card helps us get extra items we need like for instance, last year both our oven and fridge decided it was time to be replaced one month after the other so we used to card to take care of that. Well, right before Thanksgiving we get the news that the company does not like the people being paid that way so we are losing the cards. That means at least 500 extra dollars a month that we will have to pay out of pocket not including anything the house may need in an emergency. Heck, the second card even helped with bills during slow times. Today when my sweetie went to get one of my pain scripts they told him it was going to cost us 108.00 that we don't have. This pain medicine helps ease my intense nerve pain. It seems that we used up all the insurance for the year so, now we need to pay for both of our meds this next month. It is just one thing after another. I have also found myself feeling petty jealousy that I have never felt before over how easy everything comes for an acquaintance that used to be a friend. It is hard for me because jealousy is an emotion I never really feel. I think part of it is that she is one of those people that fake illnesses and such for attention, blows tiny things up so everyone will say "poor you". Anyway, sorry for the bummer post.
  13. I just started watching the first episode of "The Crown" on Netflix.
  14. It's still real and Trump is President....It is like a nightmare that I just can't wake from. @hocico Pets are great. My dog refuses to let me oversleep, there are things that need to be done and she wants them done right away! Of course the cats keep me going as well.
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