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taney

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Everything posted by taney

  1. Yes, it is extremely frustrating when the doctor just seems to want to push pills. I hope you can find a better doctor soon.
  2. Maximus, I've been on this cocktail before. I can't say that I would try to stop both Celexa and clonazepam at the same time, no matter how slowly. When I started Wellbutrin my doctor specifically instructed me to take Wellbutrin in the morning. It has a energizing effect and can disrupt sleep. Maybe you should try switching the time you take it. Also, higher doses of Wellbutrin can intensify anxiety. I would suggest getting another opinion about this med combo.
  3. I've never taken Ativan but I did take Xanax for a while. It helped the anxiety but not the RLS.
  4. Clonazepam 1 mg nightly (can take 2 mg if needed) But, I take it for restless leg syndrome, not anxiety. It's worked wonderfully for the last 15 years.
  5. I think part of my depression is genetic. But it's also from being unhappy with things in my current life- working an off shift, financial stresses, my weight, perimenopause and some loneliness, etc. I feel overwhelmed at times from working full time and being back in college. I will be switching to better work hours in a week and know that will help some. Most things have been improving generally. I feel like I'm slowly digging out of my depression, but I know that I have a long road ahead of me. I have some self esteem issues; I tend to internalize negative comments from others instead of letting go of them. I'm still learning how to stop the negative self talk. I tend to demand too much from myself- things I wouldn't expect other people to deal with. The good thing is I don't have any desire to harm myself. I'm slowly learning to be a friend to myself. I think that's part of my issue with the appointment. Yes, all of this is going on or has in the past. But, very little of my progress was discussed.
  6. Thanks again Fizzle. My mom did love me and my siblings very much. I did grow up fast in some aspects, but I also had many normal kid/teen experiences. I can openly discuss my childhood without getting very emotional. I found out about her childhood when I was in my mid 20's. I think it helped me to process a lot of issues that I had with my mom. I don't place her on a pedestal; there were times she was just down right mean. What happened in my childhood helped to shape the person I am, but every experience I have in my adult life do too. I'm finding that the childhood memories are fading as I get older and they have less of a hold on me. Now, I feel like it was what it was and it's not that way anymore. That's why I don't feel there's anything to rehash.
  7. Thanks Fizzle. I appreciate the feedback. I'm glad you pointed out that the pdoc was looking at the bigger picture, because I wasn't when it came to this appointment. All I've been diagnosed with is the severe depression and anxiety, but that's not to say there couldn't be other things going on. My therapy has been going on for a long time and we have touched on my family dynamics off and on. Since my parents passed away many years ago, the family situation has made a major shift and things aren't so dysfunctional now. In some ways, yes I did feel that I needed to be protective of my mom at times when she was alive. Now, I try to focus on the good things she brought into my life. Without going into great detail, my mom lived through some horrible abuse as a child. She tried hard to stop the cycle and succeeded for the most part (meaning my siblings and I didn't experience anything near to what she did.) I think that it was the abuse from her childhood that caused many of her mental problems. She wasn't the perfect mother, but I know she tried. No one is perfect. Some of this was discussed in therapy and my opinions haven't changed. Instead of looking at the past as I've done for way too long, I'm now trying to focus on my future and improving my life. While I realize that the past will always be there, I have to look forward now. I've lived in the past for way too long.
  8. I'm sorry that yours went so badly, Garnetred. I just got back from my appointment and I'm not sure if anything was really accomplished. He up'ed my Lexapro to 30 mg. He also feels I need to be more physically active (duh) and talk to my gynecologist about if this is all perimenopausal. He also said that I need to work through my past, like the mental abuse from my mother and an old abusive relationship. My opinion is those are in the past and should stay there. My mom was severely mentally ill but did the best she could, given her mental health. He also brought up being bipolar a number of times, which I found to be odd. He said that Zoloft making me angry could point to bipolar disorder. He also feels my therapy with the psychologist needs to be more focused. While it's more free flowing and on various subjects, I feel I am benefitting from it. I can't spend 45 minutes talking about my depression and anxiety, it will just make me more depressed. I guess I'm wondering if it's really worth pursuing.
  9. I realize that meds affect everyone differently. My mom tried Prozac when it first came out, at her pdoc's insistence. It made her homicidal. Thankfully, she had the wits about her to get off it right away. After that, I was terrified to try it but my GP at the time convinced me to. It worked good for me for a while.
  10. Thanks Donaldopato! Either my current GP has prescribed everything she feels comfortable in prescribing or past GP's have. Ultimately, she told me it was time to see a pdoc. The one med that I absolutely won't try again is Zoloft. It made me angry at everything. I won't increase my Wellbutrin because it gives me panic attacks if I do. I need to sit down and write things down about my symptoms, previous meds, personal and family history, etc. I will be sure to let you all know how it went. Thanks again.
  11. Thanks, ThePurist! I don't believe I need another benzo, I'm already on a extremely low dose of one for a sleep disorder. It's not so much the anxiety that's bothering me right now, it's the depression. Plus, I have SAD and I can feel my depression creeping up on me as the days get shorter. I kind of feel like there's a black cloud over me all the time. I've lost interest in almost everything and I don't have any motivation. I force myself to go to work only because I don't want to lose my home. :(
  12. Hi all. I'm scheduled for an appointment with a psychiatrist in a few days and I'm stressing out over it. A little background on me. I've had major depression and anxiety for the last 25 years and both have steadily gotten worse. I've been on a number of different meds and am currently taking 150 mg of Wellbutrin and 20 mg of Lexapro daily. It's to the point that I struggle just to function which isn't helping my job or my studies. I would prefer to just sleep instead of living my life. The only frame of reference I have with psychiatrists was my mother's and it wasn't good. It's my belief that the doctor kept her overmedicated just to keep her quiet. While the meds were enough to keep her somewhat calm, I felt like she was always a little out of it and very paranoid. I don't want to end up like that! Would any of you care to share your stories about your first appointment? Can you tell me what to expect? etc. Thanks in advance!
  13. Dstar, I seen a quote from basketball great Michael Jordan that I hope will help you. He said "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. And 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." I had never thought about life in that way before. We tend to focus on what we feel our failures are instead of using them as stepping stones. My life isn't what I had dreamed it would be when I was younger. But, it's my decision to make the best of it from here on out. While employers might want younger people because of they may be more tech savvy and such, all of that cannot outweigh life experiences. Employers also want employees that they know are reliable and resilient. The fact that you worked so hard for your masters shows that you have the determination to push ahead during some very trying times. You have shown you're goal oriented, determined and a hard worker. Employers should consider themselves lucky to have an employee with those traits. Keep your head up. While it seems that your education was all for naught, I'm sure that things will improve.
  14. If you are concerned about walking around dressed like that in the past, I think your room mates would have said something. If they haven't, I wouldn't worry about it.
  15. You've walked around like this in front of them for all that time? I would say if they were uncomfortable with it, they should have mentioned it a long time ago. There is nothing you can do about the past. If it bothers you that much, talk to them and see how they feel about it. But, be willing to change your attire if they aren't ok with it.
  16. Don't sell yourself short. Just because what you expected to happen hasn't yet, doesn't mean it's the end of the road. Since you didn't give many details about your situation, it's hard to give any advice. Have you looked at what the job market is like for your chosen career? Are you willing to relocate out of state? Some times we have to take a job that we are overqualified for in order to work our way up. Most of all, don't give up. I decided to change careers after 20 years of being with the same company and am back in school at 46. At my age, a career change is not only scary, but very difficult. Many employers want younger people that are more tech savvy. But, I'm not letting that deter me. I believe it's only too late once you give up on yourself.
  17. I'm assuming you aren't using the boxers as shorts, so I would have to say it's probably not a good idea. As a woman, I would be uncomfortable with someone walking around the house dressed that way. The only way to find out if your room mates would be uncomfortable is to ask them. BTW, housemate is another term for room mate.
  18. Thanks Alexius. No, I haven't tried to lower it instead I stopped taking it completely. I feel pretty comfortable doing this since I've been on AD's for many years and know what to expect. I called the doctor but can't get in until the end of the year. Today was a much calmer day. I have apologized to my friend and thankfully he has accepted my apology. There are a lot of things for us to work out still, but I think we are on the right path.
  19. A couple of months ago, I switched from Lexapro to Zoloft since I felt the Lexapro wasn't working as well as it had in the past. So, along with the Zoloft 100 mg, I am also on Wellbutrin 150 mg and Clonazepam 1 mg daily. My problem is that I have become very irritable, short-tempered, and a little paranoid since the change. I hadn't realized how severe it was until a close friend pointed it out to me and I blew up at him. Now I'm looking at how the last couple months have gone and things have gotten dramatically worse. I feel like dealing with my depression without the Zoloft would be easier than taking it. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow and asking to go back to the Lexapro. Has anyone else experienced this? Thanks for any and all feedback!
  20. I'm so sorry to hear this, Flash. :verysad3: I believe in karma he will get paid back for all the heartache he has caused you. I hope you find someone that treats you well and loves you for who you are.
  21. Thisisme, I'm sorry for my last comment. When I said to hold your head high, all I meant was not to let nasty people bring you down. Believe me, I know how hard it is to learn to live with an unsightly scar. I've had to deal with the rude comments, the stares, and the obnoxious questions. My solution was to turn to my sarcasm in regards to it. People would ask if I attempted suicide and I would tell them some far-fetched story that no one with any good sense would believe. While I can't tell you how to deal with your situation, I can say that the comments and everything will eventually stop. I hope that you find the treatment for your scar (and the emotional scars of the attack) that will benefit you the most. Taney
  22. I hope they help. I have no experience with them. While I understand how you feel about your scar, it doesn't give you the right to be rude to people who are trying to be supportive and help you through this.
  23. Mine flattened and faded with no treatment whatsoever. But, it's going to take time. I completely understand why you hate it so much. Please understand that you aren't the only one that has an unsightly scar. Your family and friends all understand that it is the result of an unfortunate attack. People that really want to get to know you, will look past the scar and see the person you are. The people that can't see past it are people that you don't need in your life. Hold your head high, you are a survivor.
  24. I understand. Mine was the same way, but now it is NOT noticeable. My only suggestion is to talk to your doctor about what treatment options are available. You would be risking a lot by having some of the more radical things you've suggested done. The scarring could get worse or the tattoo could be more noticeable than the original scar is. But, the point is, it's your life and your body. Do what you think is best for you. You don't need our approval, you need to do what's in your best interest.
  25. I believe that your scar will fade in time. I don't think that a tattoo, even of your skin tone, would be advisable since skin tone can change from day to day and will change over the years. I think everyone here that has a major scar would agree that you have to give it time to heal properly. In the meantime, I really think that therapy would be helpful, if you would be open to it.
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