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taney

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About taney

  • Birthday 07/06/1968

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    Female
  • Location
    Iowa

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  1. Yes, it is extremely frustrating when the doctor just seems to want to push pills. I hope you can find a better doctor soon.
  2. Maximus, I've been on this cocktail before. I can't say that I would try to stop both Celexa and clonazepam at the same time, no matter how slowly. When I started Wellbutrin my doctor specifically instructed me to take Wellbutrin in the morning. It has a energizing effect and can disrupt sleep. Maybe you should try switching the time you take it. Also, higher doses of Wellbutrin can intensify anxiety. I would suggest getting another opinion about this med combo.
  3. I've never taken Ativan but I did take Xanax for a while. It helped the anxiety but not the RLS.
  4. Clonazepam 1 mg nightly (can take 2 mg if needed) But, I take it for restless leg syndrome, not anxiety. It's worked wonderfully for the last 15 years.
  5. I think part of my depression is genetic. But it's also from being unhappy with things in my current life- working an off shift, financial stresses, my weight, perimenopause and some loneliness, etc. I feel overwhelmed at times from working full time and being back in college. I will be switching to better work hours in a week and know that will help some. Most things have been improving generally. I feel like I'm slowly digging out of my depression, but I know that I have a long road ahead of me. I have some self esteem issues; I tend to internalize negative comments from others instead of letting go of them. I'm still learning how to stop the negative self talk. I tend to demand too much from myself- things I wouldn't expect other people to deal with. The good thing is I don't have any desire to harm myself. I'm slowly learning to be a friend to myself. I think that's part of my issue with the appointment. Yes, all of this is going on or has in the past. But, very little of my progress was discussed.
  6. Thanks again Fizzle. My mom did love me and my siblings very much. I did grow up fast in some aspects, but I also had many normal kid/teen experiences. I can openly discuss my childhood without getting very emotional. I found out about her childhood when I was in my mid 20's. I think it helped me to process a lot of issues that I had with my mom. I don't place her on a pedestal; there were times she was just down right mean. What happened in my childhood helped to shape the person I am, but every experience I have in my adult life do too. I'm finding that the childhood memories are fading as I get older and they have less of a hold on me. Now, I feel like it was what it was and it's not that way anymore. That's why I don't feel there's anything to rehash.
  7. Thanks Fizzle. I appreciate the feedback. I'm glad you pointed out that the pdoc was looking at the bigger picture, because I wasn't when it came to this appointment. All I've been diagnosed with is the severe depression and anxiety, but that's not to say there couldn't be other things going on. My therapy has been going on for a long time and we have touched on my family dynamics off and on. Since my parents passed away many years ago, the family situation has made a major shift and things aren't so dysfunctional now. In some ways, yes I did feel that I needed to be protective of my mom at times when she was alive. Now, I try to focus on the good things she brought into my life. Without going into great detail, my mom lived through some horrible abuse as a child. She tried hard to stop the cycle and succeeded for the most part (meaning my siblings and I didn't experience anything near to what she did.) I think that it was the abuse from her childhood that caused many of her mental problems. She wasn't the perfect mother, but I know she tried. No one is perfect. Some of this was discussed in therapy and my opinions haven't changed. Instead of looking at the past as I've done for way too long, I'm now trying to focus on my future and improving my life. While I realize that the past will always be there, I have to look forward now. I've lived in the past for way too long.
  8. I'm sorry that yours went so badly, Garnetred. I just got back from my appointment and I'm not sure if anything was really accomplished. He up'ed my Lexapro to 30 mg. He also feels I need to be more physically active (duh) and talk to my gynecologist about if this is all perimenopausal. He also said that I need to work through my past, like the mental abuse from my mother and an old abusive relationship. My opinion is those are in the past and should stay there. My mom was severely mentally ill but did the best she could, given her mental health. He also brought up being bipolar a number of times, which I found to be odd. He said that Zoloft making me angry could point to bipolar disorder. He also feels my therapy with the psychologist needs to be more focused. While it's more free flowing and on various subjects, I feel I am benefitting from it. I can't spend 45 minutes talking about my depression and anxiety, it will just make me more depressed. I guess I'm wondering if it's really worth pursuing.
  9. I realize that meds affect everyone differently. My mom tried Prozac when it first came out, at her pdoc's insistence. It made her homicidal. Thankfully, she had the wits about her to get off it right away. After that, I was terrified to try it but my GP at the time convinced me to. It worked good for me for a while.
  10. Thanks Donaldopato! Either my current GP has prescribed everything she feels comfortable in prescribing or past GP's have. Ultimately, she told me it was time to see a pdoc. The one med that I absolutely won't try again is Zoloft. It made me angry at everything. I won't increase my Wellbutrin because it gives me panic attacks if I do. I need to sit down and write things down about my symptoms, previous meds, personal and family history, etc. I will be sure to let you all know how it went. Thanks again.
  11. Thanks, ThePurist! I don't believe I need another benzo, I'm already on a extremely low dose of one for a sleep disorder. It's not so much the anxiety that's bothering me right now, it's the depression. Plus, I have SAD and I can feel my depression creeping up on me as the days get shorter. I kind of feel like there's a black cloud over me all the time. I've lost interest in almost everything and I don't have any motivation. I force myself to go to work only because I don't want to lose my home. :(
  12. Hi all. I'm scheduled for an appointment with a psychiatrist in a few days and I'm stressing out over it. A little background on me. I've had major depression and anxiety for the last 25 years and both have steadily gotten worse. I've been on a number of different meds and am currently taking 150 mg of Wellbutrin and 20 mg of Lexapro daily. It's to the point that I struggle just to function which isn't helping my job or my studies. I would prefer to just sleep instead of living my life. The only frame of reference I have with psychiatrists was my mother's and it wasn't good. It's my belief that the doctor kept her overmedicated just to keep her quiet. While the meds were enough to keep her somewhat calm, I felt like she was always a little out of it and very paranoid. I don't want to end up like that! Would any of you care to share your stories about your first appointment? Can you tell me what to expect? etc. Thanks in advance!
  13. Dstar, I seen a quote from basketball great Michael Jordan that I hope will help you. He said "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. And 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." I had never thought about life in that way before. We tend to focus on what we feel our failures are instead of using them as stepping stones. My life isn't what I had dreamed it would be when I was younger. But, it's my decision to make the best of it from here on out. While employers might want younger people because of they may be more tech savvy and such, all of that cannot outweigh life experiences. Employers also want employees that they know are reliable and resilient. The fact that you worked so hard for your masters shows that you have the determination to push ahead during some very trying times. You have shown you're goal oriented, determined and a hard worker. Employers should consider themselves lucky to have an employee with those traits. Keep your head up. While it seems that your education was all for naught, I'm sure that things will improve.
  14. If you are concerned about walking around dressed like that in the past, I think your room mates would have said something. If they haven't, I wouldn't worry about it.
  15. You've walked around like this in front of them for all that time? I would say if they were uncomfortable with it, they should have mentioned it a long time ago. There is nothing you can do about the past. If it bothers you that much, talk to them and see how they feel about it. But, be willing to change your attire if they aren't ok with it.
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