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kaymichele01

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About kaymichele01

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  1. Hey guys. I’ve been a long time follower and poster of this site for years. I’ve struggled with my own depression and anxiety, obsessive thoughts and gone through some pretty dark times. I am on medication but I still struggle every day and now not only do I struggle, but my boyfriend of 8 years is also going through something. I finally talked him into making an appointment with my doctor for later this month, but to summarize, he’s had what I would say say I noticed as issues for years now. He used to be happy and we’d talk about marriage and we had fun together, but slowly things changed and we grew up a little more. His parents divorced, he had some money issues, his dad was in bad health, and he just all of sudden seemed to hate everything, didn’t want to get married anymore, thought it was pointless and still does, he also has ocd when it comes to certain things that he never had before all this. To make matters worse, he lost his dad a few months ago after a long illness, he barely acknowledged that he died, he never dealt with it, said he had made peace with it but to be honest, I know he never really did. Still, I let it go and let him grieve his own way. Fast forward to now, his little “quirks” have gotten worse. He never wants to do anything, complains about everything, hates his job, hates his life, etc and now he’s gotten to a point where he says he can’t stand to be touched. Like he doesn’t want me to touch him at all, not sexually, just period. Do you know how difficult it is to be in a relationship and live with someone you can’t touch or get zero affection from? I can’t remember the last time we said I love you. I’m miserable because we’re essentially roommates at this point. I want to be there for him through this process, but my own mental health is such a challenge for me, I’m not sure I can stand much more of his also. Any advice would really really be appreciated or even stories of people going through similar things!
  2. I’m sure this has been brought up before, but I’m reposting for those who may, like me, be suffering right now from this issue. I’ve been on lexapro for a few years now. I’ve gone back and forth between 10mg and 20mg over the course of about 3 years. I never had a super high sex drive to begin with, but now it’s non existent. The thought of sex isn’t even in my head anymore. I’ve been in a relationship for almost 8 years now. I know getting comfortable with someone can also cause your drive to decrease, but it’s not just him, I have zero desire to have sex with anybody. It’s really bringing out my depression because I want to have a normal, healthy sex life. Has anybody out there on lexapro had this issue and were they able to find something to help?! Supplements, medications, or even changing their antidepressant? I need advice!
  3. First let me start by saying that in no way do I believe anyone here is a qualified health professional, I just am wanting opinions and advice on a situation that is starting to get out of hand in our home. I live with a few roommates, and a few months ago one of my roomies decided to let someone move in with us because I am soon moving out. It's important to note this guy isn't a stranger, the boyfriend of my roommate has known him since they were kids, they served in the military together, he had a great job, very stable and nice. About that same time, he starts dating another mutual friend of my roommates and she starts shacking up with him at our house. Everything was fine at first, then out of nowhere he starts staying up all night long for days at a time working on "projects" around the house and while still acting normal at this time, is becoming a little less normal each day. He barely eats and stays up for days on end, he quit his job of several years out of nowhere and he found a knot on his neck that turned out to be a muscle knot but no doctor could convince him he wasn't dying. Eventually after he became increasingly erratic, he went and saw a doctor who told him he was bipolar, put him on medication and then let him go. Soon after, he overdosed on one of his medications and tried to **** himself. He ended up in ICU on a ventilator and then 24 hours later is released back home. He voluntarily agrees to go to a treatment facility but they only keep him 3 days and then release him again with new medication. Since then he's been incredibly erratic, going off on trips places only to turn around and come right back home the same day, chugging energy drinks even after he was told it could trigger manic episodes, lying about all kinds of things, yelling at everyone, and most recently, I found a mirror in his room with a picture of Jesus glued to it covered in wax and a bulletin board full of random words like suicide and homicide and things about Kurt Cobain? It's all very strange and none of us know what we're dealing with. We've contacted crisis lines, the police, anyone we can think of and nobody will do anything. Can anyone give us any advice or opinion on ways we can handle this sort of thing?
  4. I feel like a broken record because I feel like this topic has been brought up over and over but I need some advice. I struggle with anxiety and depression and obsessive behavior. I have dealt with it for years now and I am on medication and functioning. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years now and he was there for me through all of it, but now and the past few years, he’s been so depressed and he refuses to open up about it at all. He is not one to share emotions or feelings in the slightest and prefers to keep them tightly to himself. He doesn’t like to talk about anything and it’s really effecting our relationship. He won’t go see a doctor, refuses to take medication and just prefers to suffer through it. No offense to you guys out there, but why are y’all SO stubborn when it comes to accepting help? Idk what to do anymore!
  5. I feel like you and I are on exactly the same wave length. I constantly worry about everything that could possibly happen. I worry that we're all going to die any second, I worry when the clouds outside look different than they did the day before and assume something bad is happening. It's a constant struggle and it's overwhelming and debilitating. I'm on lexapro and it's calmed down the craziness a bit but it's still there ☹️
  6. Hey guys, I need some serious advice. I have been on Lexapro for a few years now at different dosages. The highest being 20mg and the lowest being 5mg, I've been on 10mg for awhile now and functioning just fine but this past week, it's like it just quit working out the blue. I have had awful anxiety and depression and I feel like my brain is going to explode. I had blood work done yesterday and my Vitamin D is low as well as my iron and I know those can also be linked to depression and anxiety but this literally hit me all of a sudden on Monday and hasn't gone away since. I feel like I'm losing control again and I don't know what to do about it. I plan to go see my regular doctor this week and see what she recommends but I know this can't be normal. Please help! :(
  7. I just recently started taking 750mg of GABA once a day. I have been on 20mg and most recently 10mg of Lexapro for 2 years as well as 150mg of Wellbutrin for about a year. Unfortunately, my insurance ran out and my medicine was WAY too expensive to keep buying so I started doing my research and found out that GABA deficiency is very similar to serotonin deficiency. When I ran out of my medication, I decided to supplement the GABA instead to see if maybe that has been my problem all along. Now disclaimer, I know you should NEVER just stop taking SSRI's EVER, it will screw you up big time, but I didn't have much of a choice here so I thought, what the hell, might as well try something rather than nothing. So far it's been almost 2 weeks and I feel the exact same as when I was on SSRI's. My obsessive thoughts are gone, no anxiety, it's like I'm on my regular meds. Normally after about 3-4 days off of my meds, my mind starts racing, I get brain zaps, I am obsessing over everything and I just feel terrible but so far 2 WHOLE WEEKS in and I feel normal. I may just fall in love with this stuff. Anyone else tried it and had good results??
  8. I just recently started taking 750mg of GABA once a day. I have been on 20mg and most recently 10mg of Lexapro for 2 years as 150mg of Wellbutrin. Unfortunately, my insurance ran out and my medicine was WAY too expensive to keep buying so I started doing my research and found out that GABA deficiency is very similar to serotonin deficiency. When I ran out of my medication, I decided to supplement the GABA instead. Now disclaimer, you should NEVER just stop taking SSRI's EVER, it will screw you up big time, but I didn't have much of a choice here so I thought, what the hell, might as well try something rather than nothing. So far it's been almost 2 weeks and I feel the exact same as when I was on SSRI's. My obsessive thoughts are gone, no anxiety, it's like I'm on my regular meds. Normally after about 3 days off of my meds, my mind starts racing, I get brain zaps, and I just feel terrible but so far 2 WHOLE WEEKS in and I feel normal. I may just fall in love with this stuff.
  9. Hi all. So, I've been on escitalopram for almost 2 years now. I was on 10mg for about a month or two before switching to 20mg and have been on that since. About 6 months ago I added 120mg of Wellbutrin as well. Unforunately, my insurance ran out at the end of December and in order to get my escitalopram, I will have to pay $115 basically once a month in order to keep taking this. My question is how can I safely wean myself off without going into a full on withdrawal? I know not consulting a doctor first doing this can be risky and dangerous but at the moment, I have no other options. I plan to continue the Wellbutrin because it's only $29 to refill and I can afford that. I also live in TN and almost all insurance companies have pulled out of the marketplace so getting insurance again is going to cost me wayyyyy more than I can possibly afford. I'm kind of in a bad situation with that and I need some alternatives. Help!?
  10. My niece has had self esteem issues for a very long time stemming from an illness and personal issues with my sister, but most recently it has taken a very bad turn. It started when she got braces and due to not being able to eat because of pain, she lost weight. She was never fat to begin with but she may have been slightly overweight to what she needed to be. Anyway, all of her friends told her how great she looked and how much weight she had lost and I guess it caused her to spiral it out of control. It started as just excessively exercising after dinner to burn the calories and then to barely eating anything at all and most recently, to throwing up after meals. She has reached a dangerous level of weight loss, so much so that her periods have stopped. She is seeing a counselor but it doesn't seem to be helping very much. They want to admit her into a treatment facility but she is in her senior year of high school and absolutely refuses to leave school. She will be 18 in less than 2 months and after that, there is nothing anyone can do. I know how serious mental illness is, having one myself so I just don't know what to say to help reach her. I thought maybe someone with similar issues might be able to give some advice. Thanks!
  11. I'm on week 3 of my dosage decrease and medication switch and I just feel crazy. A few weeks ago my doctor dropped my Lexapro from 20mg to 10mg and added Wellbutrin 150mg as well. Now that the decrease has started to work it's way into my system, I feel like I'm losing control again. I just feel nuts, obsessive, and anxious. I know medicine takes time to regulate but I abosolutely hate this phase. It doesn't help that after receiving my blood work, I was told I am iron deficient, B12 deficient, Vitamin D deficient AND Folic Acid deficient so I am taking several supplements for those things as well. All those things together are making me feel like I did before I started medication a year ago. I've improved so much since then and now I feel like I'm slipping back again. I know I have to wait it out until my body gets used to the changes, but why does it have to take so long? Just need some reassurance that things will be back to normal soon...
  12. Has anyone had any luck with Wellbutrin? I've been on 20mg of Lexapro for over a year now and I went back to my doctor today and told her I was quite tired of being so tired all the time. I also haven't been interested in sex in almost a year and have gained a lot of weight since being on Lexapro so we both agreed to lower my dosage to 10mg and add 150mg of Wellbutrin. I plan to start this regimen tomorrow but I'm honestly afraid of the withdrawal symptoms I'm gonna have from it. Has anyone had luck with these two together?
  13. Has anyone had any luck with Wellbutrin? I've been on 20mg of Lexapro for over a year now and I went back to my doctor today and told her I was quite tired of being so tired all the time. I also haven't been interested in sex in almost a year and have gained a lot of weight since being on Lexapro so we both agreed to lower my dosage to 10mg and add 150mg of Wellbutrin. I plan to start this regimen tomorrow but I'm honestly afraid of the withdrawal symptoms I'm gonna have from it. Has anyone had luck with these two together?
  14. I've been with my boyfriend for 5, almost 6 years now. When we first started dating and even the first few years, things were great. He supported all my crazy ups and downs dealing with my anxiety and depression and was so supportive. I finally got on medication and I've been on the uphill since. However, things changed about 2 years ago when one of my roommates moved out and he was kind of put in the situation of moving in with us to help pick up the slack. I didn't force or ask him to but I guess he felt it was necessary because we needed the help. Anyway, long story short, it completely tore us apart. We fought all the time over money and being broke all the time and I know that even though he never said it, he blamed me for the problems he had/still sort of has. He moved out over a year ago and we took a small break from one another. Now, he stays with me on the weekends and a night here and there during the week some, but the person he is now is just not who I used to know. I know people grow and change but I just don't know what to do anymore. His parents also divorced about 2 years ago as well so I know it was a lot to take in for him and I think they he became depressed from it all. I've told him that multiple times but he refuses to see a doctor or get help. I can't force him but I know he needs it. He also has OCD than never appeared until the past 2 years or so. He's so negative and literally doesn't like anything anymore. He refuses to talk about anything that may open wounds and bottles everything inside. Some days I want to leave and others I think I can stick it out. It changes daily. It's starting to make me feel like my depression is coming back because I feel so stuck. I need some advice, guys. Oh, I should also add that our sex life has taken a horrible turn as well. I know me being on Lexapro had affected it greatly, but I just never want to have sex with him anymore. I still get aroused but just not by him.
  15. First of all, don't judge me, I know how dangerous it is to play around with your meds, that being said, a few weeks ago I started taking 25mg of lexapro up from 20mg. I had been on 20 well over a year and kind of felt like I had hit a plauteu in my recovery. I have an appointment with my doctor in Oct so I figured I'd know by then if the increase had helped or if I needed to try something different. I know increasing medication without a doctor's approval is risky and stupid, I just weighed the risk and went for it. I'm definitely feeling the side effects from it now, I'm wondering how long they will last before I hopefully notice a change? Anyone gone above 20mg before? I know when you increase medication, the side affects aren't supposed to last as long.
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