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About mollyfin

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  • Birthday 05/22/1983

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    NYC, USA

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  1. I'll be turning 30 in a few weeks and it's really bothering me. I wouldn't care if I had a job, etc, but I feel like I'm the oldest person in the world who's never had a job, lived on her own, etc. It's really getting me down. And I'm not sure how to deal with it because there's no way to avoid getting older. I'm also awaiting biopsy results, so I may end up having been given the gift of thyroid cancer for my decade rollover. A little extra fun.
  2. Several months before we planned on getting engaged, she mentioned being uncomfortable and wanting to postpone the date. Caught off guard, I reacted by getting tearful and upset, but after a little while I got myself under control and was able to see her point of view, but by then, she wouldn't let me approach the idea and kept saying things like you know what let's just get engaged right now. Several times as the date approached I asked if she was sure she wanted to do this. She kept saying yes. I proposed, she said yes. A week later, she's crying and thinking about ******* herself because she's so miserable. She doesn't want to be engaged because this means changes and pressure and other things I don't really see being a thing, but I guess our expectations were different. Which is weird because we discussed these things over and over. I asked her if she wants to break up - terrified, because I can't live without her, but I don't want to be someone's regretted mistake either - she said no. She wants to not be engaged. But she doesn't want to "undo" it either because she doesn't want me to be upset, and she doesn't want people to judge her. She still wants to be with me forever, and wants to get engaged "someday," but not until she has a job and is the person she wants to be, whatever that means. Fair enough, I guess, but I've never known her to be happy with who she is, and in the two years we've been together she's changed job goals dozens of times. I keep telling her I don't care if she has a practical or artistic job or none at all. I don't care if we don't end up having kids, though I would like them. She's still in love with me and I'm still her soul mate. I feel like I'm just a big mistake to her and now she feels stuck with me because we pledged commitment to each other. I finally had to talk her into breaking our engagement, even though it's what she wanted. I have no expectations for engagement. I just wanted to make it official that we plan on spending the rest of our lives together. I've told her over and over I don't want her making life decisions based on me, that it's her life and I want her to live it. I don't want to get married for years (I mean, I'd love to, but I know it won't be possible anytime soon). If she doesn't want that, how can I believe her when she says she wants to be with me?
  3. My memory is getting worse and worse. I never used to forget anything people told me. Now I don't remember conversations I've had, basic pop culture things, the names of my doctors, my medication dosages...all things I never had to think about. I'll tell someone what I think is new information and the person I'm talking to will be like, yeah, you already told me...and not only do I not remember telling them, I don't remember having that information in the first place! Lately I've been terrified of having a brain tumor and I have a lot of symptoms. This one worries me a lot but I heard that depression and anxiety can also cause memory loss. is that true? Is that the kind of memory loss it can cause?
  4. Also have off and on burning in hands, tongue and lips mostly on left side.
  5. I went to my doctor with troubling symptoms - left-sided weakness/numbness/stiffness in my arm, leg and face as well as horrible muscle spasms and tremors. Doctor sent me to a neurologist because he agreed something seemed up, but thought it would be drug-related. Neurologist said the same thing; also told me that the visual symptoms that had been worsening were also associated with antidepressants. He didn't recommend any further testing and seemed to think things were more or less normal. I was on wellbutrin 75 mg, doctor bumped it up to 150 as it didn't seem to be helping enough. That did help my mental state but made the above problems worse. Went down to 75 at doctor's recommendation, even though she as usual said she didn't think it could be drug-related. Saw regular doctor and neuro while on 75; now taking none. Sometimes I feel somewhat better, but I'm still seeing trails after moving objects, still getting headaches more easily than I normally would, am more sensitive to light and worst of all my left side still doesn't feel in sync with the rest of my body. The arm and hand on that side are stiff and clumsy, and my leg feels weird when I walk on it. I also get numb burning patches on my lip. My twitching, at least, has subsided quite a lot. I'm also exhausted all the time, but I guess that at least is normal for coming off of wellbutrin. I'm freaked out that I have a brain tumor or something that the doctors are attributing to wellbutrin side effects and withdrawal effects! Has anyone experienced anything like this while on or coming off of this drug?
  6. I have and am...I'm coming off the stuff, but am suddenly being slammed with all sorts of crazy symptoms that have me on my way to a neurologist convinced I have a brain tumor...my gp thinks it's all Wellbutrin...argh.
  7. Could Wellbutrin be the cause of my worsening visual problems? I had palinopsia and visual snow for a while years ago...it never fully went away but got somewhat better. Now they're back with a vengeance. Ever since I started Wellbutrin I've had a bunch of horrible symptoms, but I'm curious about this one in particular.
  8. I've been to the doctor a few times in my day (to put it mildly). I have an appointment tomorrow because I'm not getting any better, but if he says I'm okay I'm going to try to believe him. I used to insist on referrals and tests but that never made me feel better for long. I've had anxiety numbness before but never on one side of my body...usually it starts in my neck/shoulders and spreads through my arms. So I don't know if what I'm feeling now could be anxiety or not.
  9. I'm scared that I have MS or a brain tumor, but I also have severe anxiety. My left arm/leg/side of face are tingly and heavy. Some people are telling me that it's caused by anxiety. Usually when I have numbness or tingling from panic/anxiety it's in both arms starting in my neck and shoulders. Can left-sided numbness/tingling be anxiety caused or no? I'm going to a doctor on wednesday (the soonest he can see me) but usually when I go in for a symptom that seems inevitably horrible, he tells me it's stress related. I've had this for a while (I at first thought it was a migraine because I get this symptom a lot but it usually comes and goes) so I don't think it's going to **** me anytime soon, but I'm wondering if it really can just be caused by anxiety.
  10. My twitching has finally started to decrease, right before I'm to see my doctor about it. Figures! Still having eye/vision problems and headaches, though.
  11. I called my doctor last night, so hopefully I'll hear back in a few days. I just had a physical this summer and all was normal, so I'm thinking it's a side effect.
  12. I'm not sure if this is a side effect or not, but I hope it is, or I have some serious problems going on. I'm twitching pretty much constantly - single, frequent jerks in my arms, legs, low back, face, neck, even my feet and toes. It's really uncomfortable and scary as hell. Between this and weird vision symptoms that I figured were migraine-related (palinopsia, afterimages, photophobia, visual snow increase), I'm starting to think I have a brain tumor or something.
  13. I started wellbutrin nearly a month ago and recently I've been having twitches/tremors and discomfort in my fingers, toes, and parts of my face. Could this be a side effect? My toes are the worst; it's like I have restless leg syndrome in them. It's keeping me from sleeping.
  14. I always take my medications before bed, since I wake up at irregular hours. It seems to be working just fine for me that way.
  15. Has anyone else had breast and nipple pain and enlargement on fluoxetine? I've been having this symptom for a couple of months - it gets better and worse at certain times but never goes away completely - and I'm wondering if it's related, since it's a listed rare side effect and my hormone levels were normal when my doctor checked them less than two months ago.
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