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LunaOscar99

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LunaOscar99 last won the day on April 7

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About LunaOscar99

  • Birthday 03/30/1958

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    the Northeast.

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  1. We've been married since June, and its becoming more clear that my wife doesn't want to have any children. She is terribly afraid of how it will negatively impact her career that she has worked so hard for. She is also very afraid that we simply do not have any sort of support structure that would make having a child more workable. I am 46, she is 40. Her mom passed away, her dad is retired and really wouldn't be able to help much. My dad is 84 who spends most of his time struggling to help out my 80 year old mom who is suffering from Parkinson's in a nursing home. So basically yeah, we would have nobody to help us out. My sister had my niece at age 40, and she said the stress of doing this without any family support network is very difficult. Ive always wanted a child, but I know that at my age it would be hard. And without a family or friends support network to help out, would be very very hard. But I still feel a great sense of loss and sadness if this won't happen, even though I know there are some damn good reasons not to do it. When I first started dating my wife, I felt that she just did not have the patience or temperment to deal with kids. Was very irritable and impatient. That has changed a lot over the years, but now I do wonder what if I listened to my gut. Would I have broken up with her and then spent another 10 years looking for a suitable mate? sigh.
  2. Anyone have issues with Gabapentin causing anxiety and or depression? I am on it to deal with my sleep twitching, and last week I started feeling terribly depressed and anxious. I went down to 600 mg 3 days ago, and feeling much better but still had almost an anxiety attack this morning. I have NOT had this much anxiety in a VERY long time, and its damn scary to experience this again. So someone please tell me Im not the only one, and did you try another med for twitching or RLS?
  3. been on Gabapentin for a few months, just started 600 mg from 300 mg 2 weeks ago. I think it MAY have given me some extreme anxiety and depression. switched to 300 mgs 2 days ago, feeling better but still sometimes feeling almost a panic attack (like this morning). I read that some people can have unfortunate side effects with Gabapentin, including anxiety and depression.
  4. Been two months since Oscar went to kitty Heaven. I think about him sometimes, and miss him. But he was sooo old and in bad shape, I guess it was time. Otherwise I'm doing ok. Maybe next pet will be a Galapogos Tortus that lives for 200 years.
  5. I just thoroughly cleaned Oscars room. It was a mess. Dried vomit in multiple places under the bed. And apparently he was bringing food under the bed to eat. I guess that was his little safe space, or the dining room who knows. Why did I decide to do this now? I felt like I was treating the room like an off limits cemetery and I don't think it was incredibly productive for me. Every time I saw the room and the blankets and the smells it made me sad. Felt like time was just standing still in that room. I kept some things of his that are important to me, and weren't completely destroyed with vomit and poop. Still have his wonderful climbing tower, which the other cat loves but Oscar for whatever reason decided he did not like anymore. Still have one of his original beds which he loved. Of course this is the one that was not turned into a disgusting mess in my previous home.
  6. Every day i feel a bit better about losing kitty. We will start cleaning his room today, yesterday i threw out the filthy rug. "His" room was supposed to only last say 3 months, but ended up being a year as was taking a long time to try to get the two cats to be friends. But now it can be an office again, which was always the plan. Point is, each day i feel a little better. Its good to know I can heal.
  7. What food are you feeding her? Hill's Biome worked really well for a while, making his poo much more solid. But then he kinda stopped liking it so I switched to Royal Canin Gastrointestinal Moderate Calorie. That also worked well and Oscar liked it. They have wet and dry, cats obviously prefer wet and its better for their digestive system. My cat had IBD for years and was on steroids for years, and it really seems to have extended his life. I think he may have been 19 when he passed, so you could have at least another 4 years. Oscar also had pancreatitis and the steroids seemed to help both.
  8. Sounds like kitty was really suffering. Im glad the suffering ended. Hearing my cat scream from pain was very scary, especially when we just dont know what to do. I tried sooo many different combinations of meds, foods, treatments, etc. Its very frustrating. Be nice if animals spoke English.
  9. i could have been better to him, i could have spent more time with him. his medical conditions were very difficult to deal with. he would often poop and pee on my bed. The medicines didnt always do the trick. then when we moved him to the new house, it turned out that he HATED other cats, so that caused a ton of new issues. we hired a therapist to help us get the two cats together and after about 8 months, their last two interactions that actually touched noses and were peaceful. IT was amazing to see, i did not think it was possible. sadly they did not have time to become closer friends, but these two little moments were just such a success. I too have gone back and forth feeling terrible guilt. but knowing that the prednisolone both saved his life for 5 years, but also likely wore away his muscle tone, and the three vets working with him were sure this is what had to be done, makes me feel i did my best. what more can you do for a possibly 19 year old cat with severe IBD? i will always miss him.
  10. I have been giving Luna lots of snuggles and play time. I know she needs it. It doesn't help the way i thought it might, but she is a special kitty and deserves it.
  11. How do I feel right now? at this moment, very sad, as my cat that I had for 14 years died on Sunday. I did some research and it looks like that the steroid which literally kept him alive for I guess the last 6 years, may have also worn away his muscles which led to his constant falling and his eventual passing. I guess. Makes me feel less guilty, as i feared the steroids killed his heart, but it didnt. I guess i did the best i could, as i listened to the doctors and constantly sought updated advice as how to help him best. i asked soo many questions, and did what they said. drove hundreds of miles trying to find his special food. i miss him a ton, sometimes i feel like im dieing on the inside, but each day is a little better. hopefully by this weekend ill feel almost normal. we will see. trying hard to NOT look at photos of him.
  12. The house feels soo quiet without him, even though he had become a very quiet kitty. Mostly.
  13. Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it. Im healing, but slowly. I just need to learn the right way to think about this, and im moving forward.
  14. My cat died on Sunday. He was at least 18 years old, maybe 19. He had been dealing with IBD for many years, but maybe 4 months ago arthritis started to kick in. He reached a point where he just kept on falling, everywhere. Whenever he walked, jumped, tried to get on anything, he'd often fall. He'd fall off the radiator after sleeping. It was soo terrible to see. On Sunday his heart just gave out, and he was gone. I know he was suffering terribly, constant pain, just trying to do kitty cat things. I know that it was no life for a cat, and he even meowed to me Sunday morning to tell me something was wrong. I snuggled with him, then put him to bed. And in a few hours I knew something was wrong, and at the ER he was already half gone. I know, putting him to sleep was an act of kindness and mercy. They told me he likely wouldn't have woken up the next morning. Its just sooo hard. He seemed like he refused to give up. He just kept on trying. And it seemed like and felt like he was never gonna give up, so I just wasnt prepared. I keep having fantasies that this is a terrible nightmare, and I will wake up and he will be there. That I can go back in time and make different decisions that would have helped him more and he would still be here. But I also know, that he lived a VERY long life, very long for a cat. But he was with me for sooo much. Im having trouble letting go mentally. Its just so hard to accept, and I have issues sometimes not accepting things in life that are terrible and I feel like i made choices that led to it. I take meds for OCD with clearly help with my obsessions, but it can only help so much I guess when major trauma happens. We have another cat, who is very sweet and lovable and fun and only 5, and I know she loves to play with me. I just hate feeling like we are just moving on and forgetting about him.
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