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Everything posted by Epictetus

  1. Hi and welcome to the Forums. It is very nice to meet you. I have heard about the treatments you mentioned but do not have any personal experience with them. Hopefully other members here with experience will see your post and respond to it kindly and helpfully. Depression, anxiety and sleep difficulties are rough, to put it mildly. I hope you find things that help you. Please lean on us for moral support in your struggles. We are all fellow strugglers here. I wish you only the very, very best!
  2. Feel pretty good today. Had an insight today after reading a psychology book on the subject of worry. The author mentioned that some children are raised to feel that they have a duty and responsibility to worry. Like it is a moral imperative. It dawned on me that this was how I was raised. It's like its my responsibility to worry and that people who don't worry are irresponsible and not good people. The author of the book suggested to his readers that they call this idea into question. Is a lot of my worry because I feel obligated to worry? I wonder. Feels like I am deepening my understanding of myself. Hugs to everyone!
  3. I was on Escitalopram 20 mg for about 13 years until an insurance problem caused me to be switched to Citalopram. This medication helped me enormously. I can't think of any untoward side effects. All antidepressants I have been on have caused me some insomnia except for Imipramine Hydrochrolide. But Imipramine had intolerable side effects in my case. I suffer from major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I found Escitalopram helpful in all of these conditions. I wish you only the best of luck!
  4. I'm sorry you are in this situation. Wish I knew how to help but sadly I have had a terrible track record regarding relationships. The loneliness of such a situation can be an absolutely crushing burden to bear and I don't know how I go on. Hopefully others here will prove more helpful to you. There are lots of really kindhearted and understanding people here. An especially active place here is the Forum called Depression Central "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Many people post here every day and we all try to be supportive of each other. It can be awful to be all alone with one's feelings so I hope you will feel very welcome here. I wish you only the very, very best.
  5. I can totally identify with you. It appears that you and I share many, many of the same difficulties. Its good to know that I am not alone but sadly I don't know how to be helpful to you since I feel equally burdened. Hopefully others here will have better words than my poor words. My heart goes out to you!
  6. I can definitely sympathize. I've always had a very rich imaginary life. But sometimes it does get in my way. The great psychologist Carl Gustav Jung thought that imagination was crucial to human life but neglected by classical psychology and that this was a great shame. Because of COVID, my imaginary life has become more important to me . . . more vivid . . .more visceral. I was watching an old television interview recently. The interviewer was interviewing the great film director Ingmar Bergman. I think Bergman looked to be around 50 years old at the time [?] Bergman told the interviewer that even now he had an imaginary best friend. I found that very interesting. I don't socialize much and am pretty much a homebody. I am sorry that things are painful for you. Wish I knew what to say to help. You might find books by the Jungian psychologist James Hillman helpful. I like his book entitled "Inter Views." I hope you find these Forums helpful too. A very active thread on these Forums is in a Forum here called "Depression Central" It is called "How do you feel today." Lots of us post frequently on this thread. You would be most welcome to post here! Here are a couple of quotes from the great psychologist Hillman that might interest you . . . "There is too much that psychoanalysis has ignored. Psychology has become terrified of images. It just will not allow anyone to love images whole-heartedly and take them for real. It just will not allow the imaginal. Fantasies are very precious."
  7. Today is better for some reason. Not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Its scary when the dark moods trend downwards. I feel that there is a floor under my depression and that I can bounce back from a lot of stuff. When the floor disappears -- that is such a scary time. Once the floor disappears once one becomes keenly aware that it could happen again. Don't want to ever end up in a mental hospital again. Knock wood. Sending hugs to everyone here!
  8. I am so sorry you are in that situation. How utterly heartbreaking! Just heartbreaking! I don't know that you mean by "end it all" but please, please, please do not do anything to harm yourself. It would be awful it you were lost and it would harm your daughter for the rest of her life. You are the victim of these awful things and you deserve to live! Is there are crisis telephone hotline where you live? If so, please call them. I wish I was a crisis counselor but sadly I am just a fellow sufferer of depression. Please let me tell you how terribly sorry I am for the hurtful attitude and actions of your husband. Is there a counselor you could see about all these marital issues? Although none of us here are crisis counselors, please lean on us for moral support during your time of terrible suffering. No one should have to suffer such things alone. My heart goes out to you!
  9. Hard day today. Can't seem to pinpoint the reason, though, as outwardly everything was okay. Hugs to everyone!
  10. Sometimes friends and people we know do not give the best advice. I say this intending no disrespect to friends. Where would we be without them? I suffer from an obsession to always stay hydrated. I think that often I drink too much water. I asked a psychiatrist about this. He said that if my obsession was causing me distress that perhaps I ought to seek treatment for it. Drinking too much water can affect electrolytes, vitamin and mineral balance and such. I don't know much about posture but do you think you are distressed about your concerns with it? If I was a medical professional I would offer you advice but sadly I am a fellow sufferer struggling with my own burdens. I hope you find things that help you. I can definitely identify with your concerns. Good luck to both of us! Please forgive me if I have not been helpful to you.
  11. I also want to welcome you here, KalahariDessert. It is very nice to meet you. You are the first person I have ever met from Kenya. First I want to tell you how very sorry I am that you are suffering and for all the misfortunes you had to bear in your life. That is really heartbreaking. Hopefully you will find these Forums helpful to you in your struggles. They have helped me a lot. I wish I knew what to say that would help you right now. I will be looking forward to reading anything you post here. I think you are a very heroic person. My heart goes out to you.
  12. When it rains it pours. Got a new battery for my car. They wondered whether my alternator was functioning. Got home around 1:00 pm. 9 pm rolls around and a neighbor calls to say my parking lights are on. Oh, great. Have an appointment to have my windshield replaced tomorrow. Wonder if my car will even start. My life is pretty boring but I'd rather not have this kind of excitement. Guess I should count my blessings. Sadly that is not the default setting of my brain. Sorry to bother you guys with such small stuff when many of you are wrestling bears. Hugs to everyone.
  13. I hope today gets better. Found my car windshield is cracked. Went to take it to the glass shop and my car battery is dead. Let's see how the rest of the day goes from here . . . Well, could be worse.
  14. I'm so glad you are getting better. Sometimes it takes two antidepressant meds to do the trick. I've been on two meds before. One was given to me to augment the potency of the other. Thanks for sharing!
  15. I am so very sorry for your loss. What a heartbreaking situation. I wish I knew what to say that would help. A few years ago I lost my beloved pet rabbit. I took him to the vet and he was put down. I felt awful. And the pain was so inescapable. Missing him was devastating. I hope you will find some comfort as time goes by. I never know what to say when someone loses a beloved pet.
  16. I am so sorry this is happening to you! How awful. Wish I had some good advice but I can't think of anything at the moment. Hopefully others here will see your post and have some good words of help for you. I struggle with sleep problems but not anywhere nearly as burdensome as yours. So sorry I do not know how to be helpful to you!
  17. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. How awful! I've had antidepressants quit working. Those times were so demoralizing and scary. Sadly, I have experience with only a few antidepressants and I believe they are older meds than Effexor: Tofranil, Zoloft, Lexapro and the one I am currently on . . . Celexa. I think I have been on Celexa for more than 20 years and I hope it doesn't stop working for me. I think there are people here on the Forums who have personal experience with newer antidepressants. Sometimes older medications work better for certain people than newer ones. I have heard good things about MAOI's, an older class of antidepressants but have no experience with them. And I believe they have some unwelcome side effects. There are many newer ones too, and ones that are in the clinical testing stage. Sometimes a Doctor of Pharmacy can offer good advice. Of course there is no substitute for medical advice from a licensed physician who has access to your entire medical history. Hopefully your doctor will be able to find the very best thing for you so that you will get some relief. It is heartbreaking that you are in the situation you describe! Wish I knew how to help!
  18. I'm bummed out today. Not sure why.
  19. So sorry that is happening to you. Lacking experience with Effexor, I don't think I will be able to be helpful. I did notice a kind of reversal of side effect profile when going from low dose Tofranil to high dose. But Tofranil is an older Tricyclic Antidepressant. It helped me to take my med at a different time of day to combat the unwanted side effects. Not sure what can be done in your case though. Hopefully others here with experience with Effexor will read your post and respond to it in a kind and helpful way. Apologies for not being able to be helpful to you in this. Hope you find relief!
  20. I'm so sorry that is happening to you. Sounds just brutal. Depression is so awful and consuming. It made me catatonic once and put me in a psychiatric hospital. Wish I knew what to say to help you. Those who do not carry these crushing burdens have no idea how heroic are those who do. I finally found good medical help that saved my life but I know I am never ever out of the woods. You describe so many of the things I have experienced but express them much better than I ever could. It is terrible that you suffer so. Just absolutely horrible!
  21. I'm so sorry you are in the situation you describe. Sadly, because of my endless failures at relationships, I am the last person on earth to offer you advice. What to do when someone we love changes and we cannot bear the change? How to change a person we love when they do not desire to change? It is heartbreaking that you are caught in that web and I would share anything with you to help if I only knew how. Certainly the situation cannot be making your depression or other medical problems get better. Some people have told me that "couples counseling" helps in some cases, but I'm not sure it would he helpful in your situation or even if your husband would consent to it. Do you think it might help to talk to someone like a counselor or therapist yourself? My hope if that others here on the Forums, others with helpful insights on salvaging troubled relationships will see your post and respond to it in a kind-hearted and really useful way. I feel badly that I do not know how to be helpful to you but I am really at a loss. It is awful what you are going through. Just heartbreaking!
  22. My heart goes out to you. I have periodically found myself obsessed about certain things and subjects and it became quite tiring and even scary. I finally was able to emerge from this burden and suspect it was due to medicine I was prescribed. There are books written by professionals on techniques for dealing with obsessive thinking. Sadly I am quite in the dark about these. I sure hope you find something that helps you to be a in a place where you can have some real peace of mind and joy of living. I want to welcome you here to these Forums. Many of us here struggle with obsessive thinking and behaviors in one degree or another. I want to wish you only the very best here on the Forums and in your life journey! Wish I knew what else to say.
  23. I am so sorry you are in this situation. It must be incredibly difficult for you. And that is heartbreaking. I hope you can somehow find a therapist who is a good fit for you and I also hope you find these Forums helpful to you. Although none of us here are physicians or medical professionals, we are all struggling, often heroically, against the enormous weights that have been placed upon us. The only therapist who helped me was a CBT practitioner. Face to face therapy has not been that helpful to me although it is a true blessing for some. I liked the CBT approach but found that the self-help books on that subject proved the most helpful to me, especially the works of the great CBT therapists. Wish I knew what to say that would be helpful to you. Hopefully others here with more knowledge, experience and wisdom will see your post and respond to it in a really kindly and helpful way. I wish you only the very best and want to welcome you to these Forums. It is so nice to meet you and I will be looking forward to reading your posts.
  24. Was 77 degrees here but it's going to get pretty cold tonight. Nothing, though, like some of you have described. It is a desert here, but a a desert that is a mile above sea level so we get some pretty weird stuff weather wise. It was a good day to day all in all. I see that the old Star Trek is going to be on soon so I will probably watch it . . . then some other oldies; Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and The Invaders. Wish they would run that old series - the Outer Limits. Hugs to everyone.
  25. Sorry this is happening to you. Yikes. Hopefully people who have had similar experiences will see your post and respond to it in kindly and helpful ways. Sounds rough what you are going through! I have never gone from Cipralex to Zoloft. I have only gone from Zoloft to Cipralex after a brief dosing with Lexapro. Wish I knew how to help.
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