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Everything posted by Epictetus

  1. What an awful situation. I wish I knew what to say that would help. I know that is a pathetic response, but I really don't know what to say. Where I live there are lots of job openings. Its terrible that you cannot find work and are unable to pay your rent. How heartbreaking.
  2. I also want to welcome you to the Forums I am so sorry for the terrible ordeals you have suffered. How heartbreaking! Hopefully these Forums will prove helpful to you. They have helped me a lot. Looking forward to reading your posts.
  3. I do have some SAD. I first noticed it is Seattle, where is cloudy and overcast so much of the time. Since I live in New Mexico it is hardly a problem anymore. Sorry I cannot be helpful to you!
  4. I was put on a small dose of Lithium decades ago to increase the effectiveness of the antidepressant I was on, which was called Tofranil. This use of Lithium was called an "augmenter." It did help me. I didn't notice any side effects but then again I was on such a small dose. I sure hope you find something that helps you!
  5. I also want to welcome you to the Forums. I am so sorry that you are so heavily burdened. I would hope that the place where you lives comes to recognize the equality of all human beings. Even in my country, the struggle continues for equal rights.
  6. Hi and welcome to the Forums. I am so very, very sorry you are suffering. It is heartbreaking, really heartbreaking. Hopefully you will find these Forums helpful to you. It is awful to be alone with suffering and not have understanding people with whom to communicate. I often find that it helps me to come here to the Forums to communicate with people going through the same or similar things I am. I find there is no substitute for that. Sometimes feeling bad, even when it has a social cause can involve a medical dimension. I was helped enormously by antidepressant medications. A regular doctor prescribed them for me and they helped so much. Don't know if that would be appropriate for you since only a licensed physician can diagnose and treat depression or rule it out as a causal factor. Therapy can be expensive some times. I was helped a lot by reading books by famous cognitive behavior therapists, self-help books. To be honest, I was helped more by these than by face to face therapy with psychologists although I know face to face therapy is really helpful to some people. Many people here come to the Forums every day to write about how they are feeling. I often do that myself. Being weighed down with depression, anxiety and PTSD can be a crushingly heavy burden to bear. People who struggle against these burdens are heroic in my eyes, since people unburdened with these afflictions have no idea who heavy they are. I have met so many kindhearted and compassionate people here and I hope that will be your experience too. It is my hope that your friend will be merciful to you. None of us are perfect and I'm sure your friend has made mistakes in her life too where she depended on the kindness and mercy of others. The human brain is very complex and it is usually our best friend since it works 24/7 to keep us alive and healthy. Even while we sleep is working hard. But it is not an Infinite, all-seeing, all-knowing, all-perfect Being. It is a little 3 pound brain doing its best. Your brain never wakes up in the morning and says: "okay, I am going to make a big mistake today on purpose." It never does that. Sometimes it makes mistakes but I think we should be understanding and compassionate towards our brains. Even if your friend will not forgive your brain for what happened, I think you should try to because your brain is really the best friend you will ever have in life and it doesn't deserve to be punished for its mistakes. Anyway, I hope you find this site warm and friendly and I want to wish you only the best here and in your continuing life journey. Apologies to you if I have not been able to be helpful.
  7. I took a sleeping pill last night because I couldn't sleep and now I feel like a zombie. The world feels "soft" if that makes any sense. Speaking of zombies. I went to this pizza place a couple of year ago and on the wall were pictures made my children. Most of the drawing were of people who looked like corpses. I asked the manager of the place why so many drawings of corpses. She looked at me in amazement and said: "Don't you ever watch TV? There's a bunch of shows now about zombies." I said: "really?" She just rolled her eyes and shook her head. If you stop watching TV for awhile you're going be out of touch. Many years before that I went in a department store and there were all these t-shirts with skulls and tattoos on them. I asked the clerk about it. She said there are a lot of movies going on right now about pirates. OOOOOOOOOOkaaaaaaay. I found this one T-shirt with pirate-like designs, tattoo like designs. It cost $200. Yikes. I asked, "why is this shirt so expensive?" She said: "Oh, that's an Ed Hardy shirt." Ed Hardy? OOOOOOOOkaaaaaay. I guess I have always been really out of touch.
  8. Wow, I feel like you do. Sometimes I wonder what would happen to be in a disaster if I couldn't get my psychiatric medications. Luckily I have had cognitive therapy and that would probably help me a lot. Still, I think the medication is the most helpful. You wrote very poetically. Your words create vivid sensations in me. You really have a gift for writing.
  9. I remember you very, very well. It is so nice to see you again. Sometimes when people disappear from the Forum I worry about their health because it is a depression forum. I will be looking forward to reading your posts again!
  10. You write very well of your life. You really have a gift with words. I think your thoughts on anxiety and trauma are completely understandable and I really applaud your struggle to conquer unhappiness. I think what you wrote will be a real inspiration to those who are lucky enough to read it!
  11. This is not how I envisioned spending my life.
  12. I can SO identify with what you write about from my own sad experience. Wish I knew what to say to ease your grief. If it means anything to you, your post helps me to feel less alone with my suffering and also that I think that helping another suffering human being is the greatest thing someone can do in life. So I will certainly not forget you!
  13. Hi catlover007, Welcome to the Forums. It is nice to meet you. I suffered insomnia and some anxiety while on Lexapro. My doctor added a medicine called Buspirone and that helped a lot. I am so sorry you are experiencing these things. Anxiety and insomnia can both be pretty brutal. I never suffered hair lost. That sounds scary. I hope your doctor can help you. There are many members here and perhaps someone who has had the very same symptoms as you will see your post and respond to it kindly and helpfully. I do want to wish you only the very best here and in your life. Hope you find relief from the things you described.
  14. Hi SaintPeter and welcome to the Forums. It is good to meet you . I hope you will find these Forums a warm and friendly place. I want to wish you only the very best here and in your life!
  15. Hi aellisdon and welcome to the Forums. It is very nice to meet you. I'm so sorry that is happening to you. I've never experience this eye swishing myself but perhaps other members here have. Hopefully they will see your post and respond to it in a kindly and helpful way. So sorry I could not be helpful to you in this. I do hope you get some relief!
  16. I have a stomach ache that I brought on all by myself. After being on a liquid diet for a week, I decided to celebrate being able to eat solid food. I bought a bag of potato chips but instead of eating a few, I ate them all. Ugh. Its nice of the potato chip companies to put a few chips in those big bags of air they sell. Hugs to everyone!
  17. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Wish I knew what to say that would help. Sometimes one wants to help but doesn't know how. I sure hope things get better.
  18. Since the SARS-Covid started, I've been having complex and vivid dreams. Ironically, they tend to be much more interesting than my real life. Last night, however, I had a kind of nightmare and in it I couldn't open my eyes. It wasn't that I was blind. It was just that I could not raise my eyelids. Was a scary dream Hugs to everyone.
  19. I feel okay today. The liquid diet is not as bad as I thought it would be. Living on smoothies is okay but having sweet, sweet, sweet drinks all the times is getting old pretty fast. I am now experimenting with non-sweet smoothies: avocado smoothies with Tabasco sauce, pureed mashed potatoes with Italian or Mexican tomato sauce. Hugs to everyone.
  20. I am so very, very sorry you are suffering. I wish I knew what to say to be helpful. Breakups can be so heartbreaking. Heartbreaking beyond the power of words to convey. I hope you will not do anything rash. Those kinds of things don't really help and in my experience, make things so much worse. I have been alone for as long as I can remember and often have dreams like the one you mentioned. My apologies for not knowing what to say to help. Sometimes you want to help someone but you just don't know how. So sorry.
  21. The dreaded dental procedure I feared has been moved up to tomorrow. I am sitting here trying to distract myself while I stew in my own anxiety juices. Laser gum surgery tomorrow and follow up appointments in two weeks and then in a month, another month, six months. I need to be on a liquid diet for at least four days. Am supposed to live on smoothies. Not having tried smoothies, I bought a Ninja food processor blender and have all the ingredients to make smoothies now. I was expecting to have about a month to learn how to do it but I will have to learn as I go now. Commercial smoothies have too much sugar. After all the dental pain I had this year, I am not exactly jumping for joy at the prospect of getting more dental work. Hugs to everyone.
  22. I hope you are doing okay now, ladysmurf !
  23. Feeling a bit frustrated. My family expects me to make perfect medical decisions about my health but they don't have a history of making of great medical decisions for themselves.
  24. I am so very, very sorry that you are suffering this ordeal, crewneck. I think depression is the worst illness there is. People I know who have illnesses that many think of as the worst, have told me that depression is worse than all those. That has been my experience too. Your post helps me and will help so many others here who are struggling under the crushing weight of depression and all that goes along with it in its many nightmarish forms. I wish I knew what to say that would be helpful to you. Depression is so awful that there are really no good adjectives to describe it. The pain is so terrible and so intimate. I've been hospitalized before for depression and that saved my life. People who have never had to bear the burden of this illness can never, ever really understanding
  25. I was thinking of getting LANAP laser dental surgery. It is so expensive but I don't know if I can handle a seven day liquid diet that is required after the surgery. I have certain medical conditions and a seven day totally liquid diet wouldn't be that good for me. Anything dental pretty much puts me in a panic and demoralizes me. - sigh - Hugs to all of you out there.
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