Epictetus

Hi Kjah, Are you okay? What is going on?

You might want to consider talking to an attorney if you feel you were wronged and in order to see if there is some legal remedy. Since I am not a lawyer or a medical professional I can't think of anything else that could be done. There may be free or low cost legal aid services in your community which may be less expensive than consulting with a private attorney. Since I am neither a lawyer, psychologist or medical professional of any kind, I really can't think of anything else. I hope others here will have ideas that will help you. I do want to welcome you to these Forums and hope you will find them helpful to you in various ways. Wish I knew what else to say.

Hi Rae46, Welcome to the Forums! It is nice to meet you. I think your concerns and feelings are very understandable as I often feel the same way when going meds. When I was prescribed escitalopram, I did not experience unwelcome or intolerable side effects except perhaps for a bit of insomnia at first. My physician recommended some things and that side effect went away. I realize that we are all different and that how one of us reacts to medication can sometimes be vastly different than how another one reacts. Since I can only share my personal experience, I hope you will get many, many responses to your post and I also hope you will find these Forums to be useful and very helpful to you in many ways. PS: Before I was prescribed escitalopram, I was on another medication and my experience was that the escitalopram was a huge improvement. Of course I realize that I cannot generalize my experience to others.

Went for a longer walk than usual.

A funny sign made me smile today. It said: MY LIFE SAYS I NEVER LISTEN TO HER . . . OR SOMETHING.

Hi and welcome to the Forums, Rose1119. I wish I knew how to express mental health struggles to others without worrying them. I can really identify with that situation. When I am depressed, I get stuck in a "could be better, but isn't better" mindset. I look at myself that way, my past, my present, my future. If my depression worsens I start to look at everything from that angle. The people who have helped me the most and have worried the least about my mental health issues are those who could balance my "could be better, but isn't better" outlook with the "could be worse, but isn't worse" way of looking at things. Depression causes such a terrible loss of perspective. At least that has been my experience. If the person I am with is pretty well balanced and well adjusted, then they can help me without becoming worried or sad themselves. If you are lucky, the person you are with now is in this position. I don't know about you, but guilt for me is a big issue in depression. The problem with depression is that it causes a loss of perspective. I once talked to a young student who thought she was the worst person in the world because she did not get good grades in school. I told her that there were men in the last 100 years who had caused the destruction of tens of millions of people through genocide and forced starvation campaigns. This girl had not caused the destruction of tens of millions of people, millions of people, hundreds of thousands of people, tens of thousands of people and so on. She was far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away from being the bad person she thought she was. But her depression caused her to lose perspective and think and feel this way. Depression is like that. Hopefully the person you are with is someone who has a sense of perspective and so can be there for you without getting adversely affected by what you might say or do. Some people seem like Teflon. Nothing sticks to them in general and they can cope with the mental illnesses of others without becoming overly worried. I hope that will be the case in your situation. Mental illness can be so debilitating. It can be difficult sometimes to know what to reveal to others. There are both costs and benefits to having relationships to those who suffer mental illness themselves when one has a mental illness and having relationships to those who do not suffer them. Since I have never figured out a reliable way to navigate these issues, I hope others here will have better and more helpful words for you than mine. I also hope that these Forums will be a welcome refuge for you. We are all fellow sufferers here and sometimes it helps to be able to communicate with others who are going through the same or similar things. I wish you only the best!

I wish I knew what to say that would help.

It made me smile that people who haven't called in years are calling me now because they are in isolation due to this coronavirus. It's nice to hear from them again.

Last week I had a dream where I went into an abandoned building in my town that is between an apartment building and a TV station. In the abandoned building I found a box full of money. When I looked at the money I realized it was fake. Last night I had a dream where I went back into that building and found the box of money again but it was real. I remembered that previous I had been in this building and found a box of money. This is the first time in my memory that I have had a dreamed that referenced another dream. Strange.

Hi Ryan and welcome to the Forums. I am so very, very sorry that you are suffering this stressful and confusing sadness. Wish I had some really profound wisdom to share with you that would help, but sadly I lack such insight. The human brain is so mysterious and often seems to have a mind of its own, and its own unique coping mechanisms. What you describe is something I have experienced myself when I was lonely and in my life I know of perhaps as many as 600 people or more who have described attachment to a television character. So I don't think you are alone in what you describe. I would even guess that there must be millions of people who have experienced this worldwide. A movie director in an interview once said that he was attached to a television character. Although not directly related to what you wrote, the famous psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung wrote about "imaginary friends" and said that he had one throughout his long life. He believed it enriched his life and imagination and helped him in his work as a psychiatrist. So I don't think what you write of is anything to be embarrassed about. It can be hard to make friends for many people. Many people, I imagine in the millions, have friends who they would rather not have or who leave them feeling lonely. Married people here on the Forums often write of feeling misunderstood, trapped and lonely in their relationships as do people here who are in friendships. I suspect loneliness is a universal human experience that affects people who are isolated and people who are in relationships. You have reached out here on these Forums and perhaps you will make many good friends here. People here that I have met are often very understanding, kind, encouraging and consoling. Often there is a degree of luck in finding friends. One of the marks of being human is that we can very often find substitutes for anything we have lost too. I am terribly sorry about what is happening to the television character your described. That happened to me before and was heartbreaking. I don't think you are pathetic at all. I am glad your brain has a vivid imagination and has helped you cope with loneliness. I wish I had something better to offer you, but sadly I don't. Hopefully others here will have better and more helpful words for you. It is certainly a great pleasure and honor to meet you, Ryan and I hope you find these Forums to be a warm and welcoming place! -- Epictetus

Not sure what I'd like to be doing right now.

I'm listening to the wind howling outside.

I made some rice and used some crushed Cheetos to spice it up. Not bad.

I haven't done my exercises yet. I'm waiting for it to warm up a little outside.