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TonyHotdog

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About TonyHotdog

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  1. Newbie here, just thought I would share my recent story :) I know I'm new here, but I have been reading these forums for a month or so since I have been trying to get help for my GAD. I have had it for about 2 years not even knowing what was going on. I can't go to resturaunts without feeling anxiety. I can barely make it through going grocery shopping with my girlfriend. I worked a 9-5 job for the last 2 and a half years which was pretty laid back and I was comfortable at. I had seen A LOT of people come and go but have made good friends with the ones who have stayed. I felt completely fine at this job. Recently I got the chance to interview for a very big and popular internet company for their call center. It paid more than what I was making at my last job, and I had worked in a call center before, so I thought no big deal. First was an interview on the phone, which I passed of course. Then came the time I had to go there for an internet and typing test. I knew I was going to ace it, but all day I was feeling super anxious. Even on my way there I felt I had to pull over a few times because I felt like I was going to be sick or faint. I got there and waited around, which was TERRIBLE. After they called us in (2 other people were there to take the test,) I sat at a computer and felt like I needed to get the hell out of there. I rushed through the test (which was super easy) and got up and looked for the test lady so I could tell her I was done and get out of there. She pulled me aside to say I passed and they wanted a face to face interview. So I am dreading the next day that I have to go do the face to face interview. Again, I feel sick on my way there, and start to breathe very heavily. I get in there, and there are a few other people waiting for an interview. So I sit down awkwardly and try not to show that I'm starting to get that feeling. After we listen to some calls, another interviewer comes in and pulls me into a separate room, which at this time I felt like running to my car and driving home. She starts with a question that I didn't even hear since all I could think about was running to the trashcan and throwing up then fainting or something. So I stumble on my words and apologize and say there was some flu going around my work (which there was,) and proceed to answer the question. After about 15 minutes, the interview is over and it went pretty well and I jumped in my car and headed back to work. Needless to say they called a couple days later and I got the job, but it started 3 weeks later. For that entire time I have been dreading going there for my first day. I had some time off in between jobs and I spent some time with my friend. I recently started to have anxiety attacks even when I'm at their residence just hanging out with him. A few weeks ago I said screw this, I NEED HELP! So I talked to my mother, who told me she has had the same thing for about 4 years now. I went to the doc and she prescribed me Lexipro to take every day and some Xanax on a need be basis. So some of the time I had off I spent going to Kansas City with my girlfriend. We were going to be going to Oceans of Fun and Worlds of Fun. We ended up only going to Oceans of Fun, since I tried to ride one ride and I had an anxiety attack and had to get off. Most of the time there we were isolated, so it wasn't too troublesome. So we decided not to go to Worlds of Fun since I wouldn't be able to go on any of the thrill rides. We came back a day early. SO NOW TO TODAY! I had my first day of training and the second I got there, it happened. I started feeling like I was going to pass out. Some trainers came around and introduced themselves, and every time they did I felt like I was burning up and going to faint. Not even 20 minutes into it, the group was standing around and we were getting ID badges made, and I had to get out of there. I talked to a security guard, and said I have to be let back up to the lobby. He opened there door, and I was out of there. I was p***** at myself, and I don't cry often, but I did in anger and hatred of this stuff. Now I am not sure what to do with myself. I have only been on the Lexepro for 6 days, and I know it takes a little more time to work, but I can't even consider looking for a new job until I know I'm ready. I know my other family members besides my mother are going to look down on me since they all have degrees with great paying jobs. I burned my bridge at the job mentioned earlier, so I feel like there's nothing I can do until I know this medication works or helps me get better. Sorry for the long story, just felt I needed to share.
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