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AprilMay

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    New England USA

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  1. Thank you so much for your replies. I'm sure it's just hormones talking, but I'm just bewildered that suddenly now, after all of this time has passed, I'm experiencing this new sense of nostalgia and longing for the time that we spent together. It all started with the recent dream, which I of course couldn't control. Maybe my brain looking for new problems to solve?
  2. I am 43, married for 17 years, and I think I am going through a midlife crisis and the menopausal change years. My marriage has been turbulent in the past but has gotten a lot better in recent years. We have no children. Overall we have a good life. I have been hit with a massive wave of nostalgia for the one person I loved before I met my husband. It was unrequited love, we were never in a relationship together, and I have not had any contact with him in at least 13 years. I have thought about him now and then over the years, particularly on his birthday, even though I am confident that it is probably a very good thing that I did not end up being with him. However, I feel that we did not end contact on very good terms, so many things left unsaid. This wave of emotions and longing I'm experiencing started with a brief but very nice and vivid dream about him and I now find myself gradually remembering details about the visits with him. My mind is full of "shoulda, coulda, woulda" thoughts, and I find myself hoping that with the insight I have now, that I made the most out of every moment with him back then. Since the beginning of our marriage my husband has known about this element of my past. I've read that this renewed sense of longing is common and I'm looking to hear from folks who are going through or have gone through the same thing.
  3. shannashimmers- sorry to hear about what you are going through. Although I do not have any children so I can't speak from personal experience about that detail, I would suggest that your post-partum depression is drawing you to the comfort of the family that raised you, which is completely natural and understandable. The birth of a child- especially the first one, although wonderful, is at the same time extremely stressful, so you are probably reacting to the primal need for someone to take care of you while you yourself adjust to being a caregiver (parent). Humans were designed to live in groups, so the various members could help each other out with hunting, maintaining the home, and caring for each other. Industrial society has not eliminated that need, so the pressure to separate from family and be independent puts unnecessary stress on us. You are definitely taking the right step to get better by seeking treatment and talking about your symptoms and concerns.
  4. I know EXACTLY what you're going through...I have the same problem. I found out they even have a name for it- it's called "cuff neurosis"...basically a fear of having BP measured. I'll write more later but just wanted to give a quick reply right now.
  5. Today for most of the day I was feeling incredibly sad...to the point where I had to fight back tears. I did cry when I got home. I don't think the cause is anything specific- but rather a bunch of factors piling up, as usual. My husband thinks part of it is I haven't been eating enough....been eating healthy, just not enough. I think he may be right. I was extremely tired and tried to take a nap but couldn't, so I spent some time bonding with our pet rabbit. Then I went on facebook and started looking at the same stuff over and over in a kind of "blah" mode. Then I looked down at one of my arms and noticed how slender and muscular it is and thought to myself, "these arms did not get this way by sitting in front of facebook"...at that moment I packed my swim gear, headed to the Y and had a very nice half-hour swim.
  6. ok thanks for the suggestions. Memyself yes we do have a Whole Foods in the area so I'll check there and Girly I'm actually going to be in the UK in September so maybe I can sample varieties that might not be available here in the States.
  7. Hi and welcome, bpark. I can relate to depression caused by relocating even though my circumstances have been very different. I've learned that even change (such as relocation) that brings improvements to one's life can initially cause depression. My husband and I made an international move to my home country (the U.S.), stayed with my family until we got everything unpacked, and then just a few weeks later made an interstate move so he could start his new job. A few things that can help you in your adjustment...(you've probably heard them before but just in case): Eat a well-balanced diet. It's easy to settle for comfort foods that might not be as healthy, when one wants to feel good physically, but it's really important to eat right when going through the stress associated with a major change. Get exercise regularly, even if it's just walking around the neighborhood. If you haven't done so already, consider joining a gym to be around people outside of work. I have a personal story that illustrates how this can help. When my husband and I first moved to our city about 7 years ago, there was nowhere decent to go swimming year round. Just as I was about ready to give up and concentrate on another form of exercise, a beautiful, brand new YMCA opened a mile and a half from our house. I have been going there on average a couple of times a week for over a year and it has made a huge difference in my opinion of our city- I feel a little bit more "rooted" here. Pick an activity that you enjoy and consider doing some volunteer work. Chances are you'll meet plenty of other people who are in the same or similar situation. I've been taught that the general rule of thumb is to give a place 2 years before you decide whether you like it or not. When we first moved here I made up my mind that we would work on a plan to move back to my hometown out-of-state/back into my family's homestead; now I've grown to appreciate our area so much that I've made up my mind to do the opposite *LOL*. Hope that helps- be well and good luck!
  8. Paxil worked wonders for me. As I mentioned in another post, I started while I was still taking Lorazepam and even though results are supposed to take weeks, after only a couple of days my husband said he noticed improvement (so I guess my depression must have been severe). Then, after a couple of weeks, I was sitting at work one day and suddenly it seemed as if the entire room became brighter..it was like my mind was refreshed. The drawbacks were that my libido was basically stifled and it lead to increased apetite, causing weight gain. But after I got off the medication the side effects stopped of course, so to me the drawbacks were worth it.
  9. Several years ago I took Lorazepam (AKA Ativan) and Paxil. I started off on Ativan as an emergency solution combined with Paxil, then was weaned off of Ativan and kept taking the Paxil for about a year and a half or so. I am not currently on any prescription meds but there are times when I am tempted to get an emergency supply of Ativan to keep on hand.
  10. (I just started a new post on my experiences with natural/herbal anti-depressants and anti-anxiety remedies before I realized there was already this post.) I have used both St. John's Wort and alcohol-free Rescue Remedy and unfortunately have not found either to be very helpful, but I'm glad I found this post because Girly mentioned that there is a range of Rescue Remedy products for different symptoms. Maybe I've been taking the wrong one. There is only one kind available at my local supermarket so I'd be interested to know what other variations area available online.
  11. I have tried both St. John's Wort and Rescue Remedy because I like the ideal of natural/herbal remedies and I always like to try them first. The Rescue Remedy product is tricky for me because the original product contains grape alcohol and I've chosen not to use that version because I am a strict teetotaler (abstain from consuming alcohol of any kind). The newer version is alcohol-free and I've tried it over the course of several months. Unfortunately, I have not found either to be of much help. With the St. John's Wort I didn't notice any difference at all in my mood. It's possible that I didn't take a high enough dose though. In all honesty for improving my mood I've had more obvious results from eating dark chocolate. I thought Rescue Remedy was helping take the edge off, but then I experienced assorted occasions where I felt my familiar heightened anxiety, and one time after taking TWO Rescue Remedy pastilles and 1 melatonin sleep support tablet, I actually woke up in the middle of the night with a mild anxiety attack (!). My hope was that these herbal remedies help to strengthen the body's natural regulatory defenses, but I'm not convinced that they work What have your experiences been?
  12. Thank you for the welcoming words! I've long believed that the best kind of help comes from people who have been in the same situation, so once again I'm glad to have found this forum
  13. I am currently coping with the changing dynamics between myself and my dad and brothers following the death of my mom 9 years ago. I realize that it will be a lifelong adjustment. I feel that a neglected subject is how grief and bereavement directly affects the relationships between surviving friends or family members. A lot of self-help books focus on how an individual copes with the deceased being absent from their life, but they don't seem to bring up the issue of how loss affects other relationships. Anyone else going through this and how did/are you coping with it?
  14. Hello everyone, I'm a 37 year-old married, childfree female located in New England USA and I'm relieved to have found this forum. Depression and anxiety problems run in my family and throughout my life I've dealt with varying degrees of both afflictions, but since I suffered the trauma of losing my 58-year old mom to cancer 9 years ago, I've had on and off episodes of terrible despair and frightening anxiety spells (I'm actually convinced they are panic attacks because the symptoms do fit, but the psychiatrist I was seeing about 5 years ago does not think I've experienced a true panic attack...well either way...they are scary). I lead a super healthy lifestyle and do not have any bad habits that would contribute to my depression/anxiety spells.The psychiatrist suggested I have an anxiety disorder (which makes sense to me) and believes that mine is a combination of both nature and nurture- meaning both genetic and a product of my upbringing/repeated behaviors. I'll get into that more in future posts. Anyway, for this post just wanted to reach out and express how relieved I am to be a member of a forum where everyone understands what I am going through. :)
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