Jump to content

beg1984

Member
  • Content Count

    241
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About beg1984

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    California, USA

Recent Profile Visitors

573 profile views
  1. what is parallel thinking yeah... it should make for an interesting conversation if nothing else... the interesting part is that all these things have not really got in the way of my day to day life, and no one knows how ever I think its a good thing that I do not think that any of this stuff is normal... that i realize it's all a problem and that it does not affect my day to day interactions with other people... a few examples: the thing with the phone system... while it is in the back of me mind... I know that its just an odd thought and not real, even though I do not believe this thought, I have it none the less the diaper thing, I don't do it n public, in fact its something I rarely do, but from time to time, if I am really very insecure, I might do this, once or twice a year, when I am home alone, again not something that is normal, but also not getting in the way of my normal interactions with other people the skin picking thing... I have learned that it is not a socially acceptable thing to do, so as a result I do it when no one is around, or I go to the restroom
  2. I stopped seeing the therapist quite a while back... been doing quite well for some time with no meds... but there are some things that bother me... While I am diagnosed with Bipolar, I think there might me more the matter with me... Please note some of this stuff is weird and might not be something you really want to read... just a warning this is why: I chew and eat nails (both toes) and fingers), because they have to be smooth and even, this usually causes me to end up biting into the skin on my fingers, they are very messed up... normally this causes me to bleed and lots of pain, as a result I have lost some feeling in my finger tips, not all, but some I pick, chew, bite and rip at scabs, I do this because I need my skin to be smooth, and eat them if I am bleeding I suck the blood I pop any and all acne, and if it's on my arms I will bite it if I can not get it with my fingers, then I eat the puss I like to use the bathroom in odd places I HAVE to pop any and all blisters, by biting them, drink the puss and eat the skin if I have any dead skin I have to rip it off and eat it I pick my nose and eat it (leads to many nose bleeds) for some reason, I get caught up in almost any conspiracy that I hear or read about I think that the telephone system might be evil or something, not sure how to explain it, but I get the idea that something is inside of it... even though I know that this is not the case, it's just some weird thought that has been in the back of my head for a long long time when I fall asleep I can look and the clock (let say it is 9:30pm) and I can have a full dream (I can read, smell, hear, taste, touch, etc) and then wake back up after what seems like a few hours and realize I have been asleep only a few minutes (says 9:45pm) I have terrifying nightmares I believe that my dreams are prophetic sometimes very graphic and violent ideas and situations play out in my mind... I never act on these, but they are there, they have haunted me for many many years I also feel that many people are plotting against me at anytime when I am feeling very insecure I will sometimes put on a diaper and use it, I find it comforting (I think this might be the weirdest of them all) I have not mentioned these things to a therapist because I fear what might happen if I do what actions can I expect the therapist to take if I drop all this info on her all at one time?
  3. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  4. My wife is very depressed(even the doctor agrees), we have had a really rough first year of marriage... most of the time she gets very angry if we dont do everything right away the way she wants it... further more she plays these online video games all the time, she says she likes to be with the people, she even gets mad at me and usually yells things like, "What the F*** do you want?!!!" if I interupt here hours and hours of online video gaming... she lets other things in her life go so she can play this game, often even not paying attention to our 11 month old son... however if I sit down to do something she gets mad if I do not stop what I am doing right away to do whatever she wants to do. so what should I do? I have considered turning off the internet but I can only see that making her mad, I have even considered selling our computers, but that does not seem like the answer either. I have talked with her about how it makes me feel to take second place in her life to a video game, she just sarcastically says, "Ok, whatever you say" I really think that this is my fault, I am not the best person in the world but i do try, I just dont know what I can do I really just do not know what to do
  5. I have not posted in a really long time, I have been doing well. I am still worried about everything though and I cant seem to get myself to get a job, just not comfortable started counseling, but missed my appointment, now I owe them $30 and cant afford to go back...
  6. my wife wants to say good bye to the guy she had been talking to... in person... I dont know how I feel about this... I am uncomfortable to say the least
  7. well our son is at home... we have appointments scheduled for counseling... my house is clean... my wife is being much more honest about things, its refreshing I guess
  8. well CPS is ordering my wife and I to go to counseling, both individually and together as well... my wife is to seek treatment for depression they would also like me to seek treatment for my bipolar... but I have been off the meds and have been managing very well for over a year now... I feel that the meds have served their purpose, they allowed me to get a clear head and use that time to learn about my triggers and ways to cope... in short I dint think I need meds...
  9. so I just found out that the Child protective services woman wants to see my son, he is with my mother in law right now... my mother in law is meeting with the CPS lady in the morning at 10am... I have a bad feeling about this... why did the CPS lady not inform me of this? I know she says she only want s to make sure my son is ok but in the back of my mind I keep thinking she is going to try to take him from me
  10. when it rains it pours... last night my car broke down... thank God we have 2 cars... the weird thing is usually I would be freaking out right now... but I am calm, cool and collected. I have just come to the conclusion that their is very little I can do about this and that I am just along for the ride...
  11. my son is safe, I am stable... and my wife should be getting out of jail tonight... she wants to work on this, she wants to go to counseling... just hearing her say that with out it sounding like she is just saying what I wanted to hear was such a breath of fresh air...
×
×
  • Create New...