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paradox69

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Everything posted by paradox69

  1. Am going to go back to the doctor in 2 days to discuss a change in medication, had the worst day today with side effects and cant really afford for this to keep up as I have work interviews coming up (which are hard enough as it is with depression). Will update on progress soon!
  2. am taking the meds at the night time, around hour before I go to bed. If this side effect hasnt gone by next week I will go back to the docs and see what they say!
  3. Hi there, I used to take Citalopram 20mg about 5 years ago. This was my first ever AD after I had an illness on a comedown after a big night out clubbing. Usually on a comedown you feel crap for a day or 2 then back to normal but this on occasion something happened which has left me with severe depression that has not ever gone away. The fact that I was ill with something at the time (flu or infection) has left me to believe that whatever pumps the happy drug into our brains every second of the day was destroyed that weekend and may never return, a thought that leaves me in tears everytime I think about it too much. Even though I have not touched anything like that again since the incident, the depression dominates my life everyday and feel may play a apart in my end if I cannot find the answer, (bleak i know but not as bleak as the thought of trying to live a life with this illness) I felt i had the answer with Citalopram a year after the incident occured. I felt normal again, enjoying life and was progressing with things. Then a year after starting the meds they started to not work as well. From then until now I have tried many AD's but none have worked as well as Citalopram, never to the point of feeling 10 out of 10 (the system I use to describe my mood from day to day So at christmas 2008 this I started taking Citalopram again. Unfortunatly, 3 months on this med, that had helped so much before, had little effect and I gave up with it and am trying something else (Mirtazapine) I was just wondering if anyone knew why the AD's had no effect the second time around even though it was such a long time since I was on them before? Any replies would be much appretiated.
  4. Just as the title says, I am feeling extreme sedation from the meds after 5 days and am finding this almost unbearable. My whole body feels like its being dragged down by heavy weights and havent got the energy to do anything. I have med/severe depression which means feeling terrible anyway but I can at least get out on my bike for some exercise but on these meds i am losing the possibility of doing the only thing that makes the slight bit of difference to my mood! Is there anything that I could take to combat the side effects? If nothing changes in a week im afraid i will have to return to the doctors as I cannot handle this solid state of feeling like I have just woken up, i can see why the weight gain is an issue as I cannot even move and im eating more to try to wake myself up. Also, am i right in thinking this is not a SSRI drug? if that is the case, how does this med actually help with depression as the seditive effect is making me feel much worse. My sleep has never been an issue so i dont care about getting a good nights sleep anymore than Ihave been. Thanks in advance for any replies.
  5. Thanks for the reply. Basically it was just complete confusion over everything. A bit like a panic attack with the speed that it happened at but symtoms were more that I just didnt have a clue what was going on around me or in my head!
  6. Yeah definatly gining up on the heavy drinking, I really dont want to feel that rough again. The thing is Ive been taking co-codamol and ibuprofen together for a week about a fornight ago because I fell of my bike an had to go to hospital so they perscibed me some. In that week I was not drinking at all and the painkillers really helped. I dont really want to pin it down on the mixture of paracetomal and ibrobufen but I just dont know what else it could be. Although seeing as though I had such a massive episode of whatever this was I really am never going to mix those again, although I have in the past with no problems. Cheers for the reply!
  7. Not too sure if anyone has heard of this before but the other night as I was about to go to bed I took two ibrobufon an a paracetomal to get rid of a headache I had (was drinking the night before and hangover would not go away). After about an hour, I was watching a program on my laptop and just became utterly confused about everything around me. I can remember not being panicky as such but just confused and didnt know whah was going on, almost on the brink of going absolutly insane but not quite. Thoughts were flashing up in my head every second and it was like I was stuck in this confused state with nowhere to go, on the verge of calling an ambulance. I take medication for depression and have been fine on that, I have had panic attacks when I was young but learnt techniques to calm myself down, but this was different and it came on so strong and fast but was not a panic attack. Ive been fine since, although been off work with a stomache bug but the confusuio thing has not appered again but am worried it could. Was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this feeling? Thanks!
  8. DeeBear, I wouldn't have thought therapy would have helped with a chemical imbalance but im intrigued to hear that it has for you. Was it CBT you had?
  9. Ok, just got back from the docs, haven't seen her before but she was very nice, understood everything I told her straight away! Anyways, she agreed I should go back to 100mg of Sertaline as I told her I was going away and she also agreed it could be risky to experiment with coming off the meds while I was in France, which I agreed with totally. She also recomended doing some research on Cognitive Behavioral Theropy (CBT) as this could also help, although I do feel 100% that I have a chemical imbalance depression rather than the other types you can get, but I am ready to give anything a go! Have to go back to see the docs once more before heading off to France but at least now I can accept the fact I will be on meds throughout the trip and not end up petrified about what would happen if depression takes over (im 99.9% sure I would not be able to do the season without the meds) while im in another country.
  10. Ive definitely had nausea after upping doses, ive got it a bit right now in fact, and I can quite easily see how you could vomit from them as well! Just take deep breathes if you feel it coming on too much, I would have thought that after your body gets used to the meds this side effect will disappear!
  11. Thanks for the replies everyone, its really nice to hear your stories as you know it can feel like your on your own with family and friends that do not understand. Well, i decided to go back to 100mg again yesterday, dont know if its the meds working instantly or just a placebo effect but I feel back to normal (ish) today and just getting on with things. I know at some point im going to have to tell my mum that im back on the AD's. She is the type of parent who thinks I dont really need them (if only she could be inside my shoes for one of the BAD days, she would understand in an instant). She doesnt want me back on them cos as soon as I do, I push my application back for the navy even furthur, but to be honest, if I dont have this medication I might not be making out the door of my house and if I cant go into the navy, then so be it, it just wasnt meant to be! Going to the docs tomorrow to discuss the next 6 months, seeing as I will not be in the Uk for the period of time, I need to know I will have treatment while im away!
  12. Yeah I know, the ironic thing is that I went for all the exams and got past the interview because I was feeling back to normal, then failed the medical because of the AD's. Most gutting moment of my life by miles. Anywoo, I think im going to stay on the meds for now, been cutting them down for a month now and am slowly been getting worse and with this ski season coming up I cant afford to be feeling like s*** while im there. Im slowly coming to terms with the fact that I may be on these forever.
  13. Yeah the doctor knows about me coming off them, but not about the natural ones, I am booking an appointment tomorrow to talk to him about it all. Im off to do a ski season at the start of december for 5 months, which im terrified about because of the illness but at the same time I have to be off the meds to get into the Navy, I hate this illness so much. Yeah they are strict in the UK, RAF, Navy and Army all have to be anti-depressant free for 2 years, but if it comes down to it, im going to have to go back on them because they did work and theres no way im going back to live the pathetic life that I had before, not wanting to leave the house and not wanting to talk to friends!
  14. I want to go into the Royal Navy but to get through the medical you must be completly off meds for 2 years. Sertaline (Zoloft) has worked for me, the depression has died down and ive been able to get my life on track, so I thought hey, lets get off the meds. I was taking 100mg a day when I was feeling good and now i am down to 25mg but there is a problem. I can feel the depression sweeping back like a black cloud. I am also taking pure EPA (which is a type of fish oil) and 5-htp as I thought that coming off the meds on its own might cause problems and it has and im scared to death that im going to be on meds for the rest of my life as it means the Navy lifestyle that I dream of will not happen. My depression is definitely a chemical imbalance, I can feel it in my head, like my brain functions are shutting down. It affects my speech as I cant think of things to say fast enough, and its just the worst illness on the planet! Sorry to go on so much, Im just searching for answers which im sure everyone with this curse is as well. So im wondering if anyone has any natural solutions that have worked for them? I was recomended Pure EPA and 5HTP by someone and am going to stick with them for now but I am open to suggestions! Thanks for now!
  15. But that was all YOU! YOU were strong through all those troubled times YOU have raised 2 sons Why give god credit for it? I just think if god made this world then he made depression, ADHD, cancer and everything else that goes with it! But why would a loving god do this?
  16. If there is such thing as a "loving" god why invent depression? He supposibly created the whole universe, which includes our minds and how they work, which includes the ability to be depressed. Ive given up all hope in believing that there is someone watching down one me! Everyday I wake till the moment I fall asleep I am depressed, crying and in pain! Why?
  17. I know why god does not answer prayers. Why would he? If a player on a team prays for that team to win why do they think god will be on theyre side and not on the other teams side. Hopeless, you need to figure things out for yourself. Waiting for someone else to change things will only lead to disapointment.
  18. I always wondered why meds take so long to work! I mean, paracetomal takes an hour to work, would be so great if AD's did the same!
  19. Everytime I pick up a perscription of Sertraline the box has changed. Mine used to say Lustral as well! Just says Sertraline now!
  20. Its definatly helped me, although yeah I do get chronic headaches sometimes, although for me they dont last long which is good!
  21. I am still taking the elevated dose yes! I am off to see the doctors tomorrow so will discuss that then! As for the results, been feeling up and down this week! Not been meeting up with friends as much and have generally been staying in. Im just putting this down to the meds needing time to take effect! I get pulses of energy to chat with people, my mind feels clear for an hour then it might go all cloudy again, then an hour later im fine! This is not good for getting a girlfriend at the mo, which is something I want, but cant bring myself to enjoy other peoples company! Will update again soon!
  22. Yeah, I think I might be on them for a while yet as well. Well been havin an ok week so far, have been feeling a lot more normal towards the end of a day compared to the begining. I have been sleeping fine, waking up ok, then gettin progressivly more spaced out throughout the day. Then getting better at about 8 again, must be the meds! Anyways, have started a new gym program and have started seeing the results so definatly something to smile about! Will keep you all posted on progress of how im feelin! Take care!
  23. Thanks for the replies from everyone, its nice to talk to people in the same situation about such an important thing as this. Ive been a bit naughty because ive moved from 150mg to 200mg without talking to the doctor. The reason for this was because I was having one of those really bad weeks and I just thought "f@@k it". I know its a bit of a silly reason but I am feeling a hell of a lot better in myself again and today ive been feeling great and back to myself. Cloudbuster, are you totally off the meds now then? Im a bit worried that ill be on these things for the rest of my life but when i think about what its like to be in the depths of depression I dont really care about being on the meds! Thanks again for the advice!!!!
  24. Ive been on 200mg for a while now but is this too high a dose? I dont feel ill or anything and I havent got too bad side effects but I just wondered about the health issues (if there are any) Cheers!
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