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About anwa

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  • Birthday 03/08/1978

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  1. You are taking a very small dose and your doc probably won't mind you taking it the way you are. Docs only guess what you need anyway....so do what works for you. I take .25mg in the morning and take the other half if needed... its a wonder drug for me!! Panic free.
  2. anwa


    I took the second dose earlier today and don't feel weird like I did yesterday so hopedully ill sleep tonight as I have work at 7am. Crossing fingers!!
  3. It makes me happy to know I'm not the only one with this problem....and this post of mine is still going. I thank you all for "confessing"! Looks like I'm getting better bases on hygiene and such since last may. Yay!! Not back to noemal but this will do.
  4. My hygiene has gotten better thanks to a bout of lice from my niece. Ugh that was horrible. Got into thw habit of washing my hair everyday wuth tea tree oil to calm my itchy scalp. Now I shower every other day or two. Hope it keeps up. Also I shower in a different bathroom because of water temp issues. Before I'd make the excuse if not wanting to deal with the super hot and super cold water fluctuations. also I've uit smoking and have really enjoyed smelling my hair lol its the little things...
  5. I have been off ADs for about a year and a half and my sleep cycle aas psrfect. Was only taking invega an antipsychotic. ... then little over a month ago I had serious medical condition which made me very depressed and anxious so I started bupropion and klonopin. I've also quit caffeine and smoking. now I can't seem to sleep. today I felt like a metallic electric sort of feeling which I think is the meds...I'm hating this stuff. thing is my doc thinks I've been taking this for awhile and I'm afraid of telling her that I haven't been. also not getting much klonopin which makes me feel normal and would help me sleep. ugh I want to stop this or only take 100mg in the am... didn't have this problem before when I took it...least not that I remember. My life has completely changed in the last month its craziness....
  6. I was recommended by doctors to get onto SSDI about a year or so ago. I was a full time student and not working for about two years total. I was denied because I hadn't worked enough. I have now been working since June 2011 part time and paying both social security and california state disability insurance. I read online somewhere that you have to be paying into social security in order qualify. Well, I'm paying into now along with the state disability (which I know nothing about) and have been since last June. Does this mean I'm eligible now? I'm really struggling with work. It's way too stressful for me. Today I almost walked out because it was a horrible experience. Everything went wrong and the company doesn't seem to care. I did nothing but cry on my breaks... Now I'm home and I can't think anything but work and I'm pacing and not able to sit still. I have to go in tomorrow and I'm really not looking forward to it. I can't call in sick or they'll fire me. I'm at my wits end and I can't get any relief. And I can't go without money so I'm screwed, basically. What I need is a very very low stress low key job but they just don't exist, it seems. I put a call into my doctor to call me back on Monday to discuss my options. Do any of you know what would be available to me? Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.
  7. I also pay into the Calfiornia State Disability Insurance (CASDI). Anyone know about that program?
  8. Since I'm working now and paying into social security, do I get benefits now? I read online somewhere that if you're paying then your insurance is good until a certain point if you stop working and paying into the system. Anyone have any information for me? I'm having a hard time working because of my disorders and I was once recommended to get on disability by my previous doctors (I have since moved out of the county). I was thinking of bringing it up with my current doctors to see if they would recommended it for me now. I would try to continue to work as much as possible but I don't want to end up losing my job because of not being able to come in. I only work 20-25 hours so I believe I would still qualify to receive disability. At least, a friend of mine is on disability and can work up to a certain amount each month. Is that available for everyone?
  9. He's hit rock bottom. He's made a plan all on his own and has already set out to start it. I have real hope and faith in him for the first time so I'm going to stay with him as long as he enacts his plan. He's very serious about it now which is wonderful! I feel so much better being his girlfriend.
  10. He had a bad panic attack last night and while he's feeling better now, he said that he's going to go back to the doctor and try medications along with therapy. This is a huge step he's taking and I can't leave him just yet. If he doesn't go through with it then I'll leave. It'll be a struggle until the meds kick in, that's for sure!
  11. Half of the people I've told that story to have given me some sort of sympathy or condolences for what happened and the other half either don't give a d*** or don't think I have room to complain. So when that happens I get confused. Am I just whining? Or is there something to it? I have so many conflicts in my head that it keeps me up at night. Last night, I was trying to get to sleep but all I could think about is how someone else at work gets an added responsibility and it's something I really, really like doing and would really help me with my job. I don't think she can't do the job just as well as I could but it really makes me mad and jealous even more than I already am. I feel like I'm always getting the short end of the stick and being stuck in a miserable position with little opportunity to get out. I can't seem to do what I want to do and be happy. It's driving me insane! I am completely miserable and I can't figure out how to get ahead in life. I've done everything people tell me to do--look for a better job, go to school, be social--but I'm still stuck here completely feeling like a piece of crap doing the same exact thing I was doing 5 years ago. Yesterday, I came back into work from a break, sat down and logged onto my computer. I sat there and thought, "I can't believe I'm back here." I left this job almost 3 years ago and didn't look back. The only time I thought about it was when one of my friends would sit there and gripe and groan about it for an hour. I'm totally stuck. My therapist asked me how I feel and I couldn't answer her fully at the time. After thinking about it I feel worthless, pathetic, miserable, jealous, scared, hurt and very angry. I'm not even sure those are the right words. I guess I have a limited vocabulary when it comes to emotions. (something that has been an issue for years) Anyway, sorry if you feel I'm whining. I'm just trying to get what is in my head out into words.
  12. He went to the doctor today. They offered him Welbutrin but he didn't take it. They offered him a pill to help not drink and he didn't take that either. He said he needed an ID for that one to get at the pharmacy. I have never had to give my ID at a pharmacy, but whatever. He didn't take the Welbutrin because he says he doesn't want to take an SSRI because it affects your nervous system (like drinking and smoking dont?). They referred him to therapy again and he says he's going to do that. I asked him if he felt better having gone to the doctor and he said "no. I was hoping for a miracle pill." I'm nervous for him. I don't like his responses but he says he's going to do therapy. I want him better so badly that it makes me want to cry whenever I talk to him. He says he's still having 1-3 drinks a day. He has sleep issues and he said he had drink yesterday to help him sleep. I know that doesn't work for him and his sleeping pattern wacky (he sleeps in the mornings and evenings awake for afternoon and overnight). I just want to help him and I feel like I can't.
  13. It's his truck. He drives it just as much as I do. I don't mind helping with gas, especially if I'm driving it, but he needs to pay for gas too, when he drives it.
  14. Yesterday, I was so angry that I went into an extreme anxiety attack. My dad had driven the car the last two times and on my way to work yesterday I ran out of gas at a busy intersection! I was furious. I had to walk over a mile to the gas station in the heat of the day with sandals on. I now have massive blisters on the bottom of my feet. I was out $32 because I had to get a gas can and only have 18 dollars until the 20th. He hasn't paid for gas since he told me he can't pay for it all the time, which was my last post. I can't afford to live here anymore. I don't know what to do.
  15. I showered today... and shaved for the first time in about 6 months or more. I had to shave because I'm wearing a skirt to work today. I feel clean, too, so I'm glad about that. This time it only took 3 days to shower. I'm not sure if that will last but its progress, nonetheless.
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