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chucapabra

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chucapabra last won the day on March 24 2014

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About chucapabra

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  • Birthday January 4

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  1. This is so accurate and frustrating.
  2. i am also tired of ruminating on people who have been rude to me. I Shouldnt waste my energy on them.
  3. Rant on: I am so sick of people. Sick of total stranger looking at me in a rude way. They all give me the same stupid look. Either the look of disgust or the good ole rolling their got danm eye at me.. wtf even when im concealing my face with my hat and sunglasses i get the same shit look. Im not talking about kids but adult. Yes adult. Well ok we all know adult are more awful. Anyway rant off.
  4. How are you guy doing? Im not making any progress. I did do a lot of yard work but I keep eating like crap.
  5. its was a good day until those 2 rude teenager got in the train. I one point when a passenger came near them they were saying loudly how it stick, its smell like someone dirty etc etc but I dunno if they are talking bout me. Im so paranoid. I do shower each day I dunno it pissed me off and pissed me off I didnt say something. I hate being a coward, but its best for me to ignore people insult plus when a black man came in they started snickering. some people are just rude n nasty. Ive seen plenty of respectful teenager but today ughh anyway that was my mini rant
  6. I feel really self concious. I dont feel like walking in public. im angry at how ugly I am. Its not only because Ive gained weight. even when I was at a "normal weight" it was the same thing. My classmate would comment on it even some of the teacher. The bullying started in fourth grade. I didnt think myself as a weird ugly child until then.Even when I changed school it was the same. Even after HS its the same. Now Its worse in my adult year. I feel odd and out of place. Losing the extra 60pound ive gained might make me feel better but it wont change much in the social aspect. But i really need to lose that weight. But im sad that I will never be "acceptable" looking.
  7. Bad. Just ruminating on rude comment, people from 15year ago....im tired of my brain
  8. Shopping, Lunch with my friend then study n went to class
  9. I hate that all my repressed memories are coming back
  10. Its so true,hate those celling fan.
  11. I feel bad. I had intense rumination and crying. I am tired of bein treated like shit because im unattractive, ugly... Yesterday I was walking and envoying the sun. When I came back a car drive by and the driver scream at me then drive aways. Back in high school it was a inside joke : the guy would scream in horror when they saw me cuz im ugly. The incident from yesterday was one of the same guy from high school. I graduated HS 12 years ago.. that same guy did the same when i was walking back in 2012 too. Can you imagine that same shit go on years after graduating. What is my crime? Being ugly. And I checked the bully fb and like most of my bullies he his pretty succesfull. Its weird before walking I was ruminating about the 2012 incident and that sh*t happen yesterday..the worst part is im always wearing my hat n sunglasses plus i gaigned 60pound since HS... Im really tired of this.
  12. Haha nope. Beside I gotta study 😣😂
  13. I had a weird dream where I burned down the shopping center by putting a bomb inside an enveloppe. The police was on to me and wanted to search my cellphone. This was such a stressfull and realistic dream that I was so relieved when I woke up. I dont feel any better with the rumination. All the crappy moment of my life keep rewinding im my head non stop...
  14. We are from the same area I think 😛 Im glad I dont have to leave home this w-e and be stuck in the grand prix rush like last time 😧
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