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chucapabra last won the day on March 24 2014

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About chucapabra

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  • Birthday January 4

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  1. its was a good day until those 2 rude teenager got in the train. I one point when a passenger came near them they were saying loudly how it stick, its smell like someone dirty etc etc but I dunno if they are talking bout me. Im so paranoid. I do shower each day I dunno it pissed me off and pissed me off I didnt say something. I hate being a coward, but its best for me to ignore people insult plus when a black man came in they started snickering. some people are just rude n nasty. Ive seen plenty of respectful teenager but today ughh anyway that was my mini rant
  2. I feel really self concious. I dont feel like walking in public. im angry at how ugly I am. Its not only because Ive gained weight. even when I was at a "normal weight" it was the same thing. My classmate would comment on it even some of the teacher. The bullying started in fourth grade. I didnt think myself as a weird ugly child until then.Even when I changed school it was the same. Even after HS its the same. Now Its worse in my adult year. I feel odd and out of place. Losing the extra 60pound ive gained might make me feel better but it wont change much in the social aspect. But i really need to lose that weight. But im sad that I will never be "acceptable" looking.
  3. Bad. Just ruminating on rude comment, people from 15year ago....im tired of my brain
  4. Shopping, Lunch with my friend then study n went to class
  5. I hate that all my repressed memories are coming back
  6. Its so true,hate those celling fan.
  7. I feel bad. I had intense rumination and crying. I am tired of bein treated like shit because im unattractive, ugly... Yesterday I was walking and envoying the sun. When I came back a car drive by and the driver scream at me then drive aways. Back in high school it was a inside joke : the guy would scream in horror when they saw me cuz im ugly. The incident from yesterday was one of the same guy from high school. I graduated HS 12 years ago.. that same guy did the same when i was walking back in 2012 too. Can you imagine that same shit go on years after graduating. What is my crime? Being ugly. And I checked the bully fb and like most of my bullies he his pretty succesfull. Its weird before walking I was ruminating about the 2012 incident and that sh*t happen yesterday..the worst part is im always wearing my hat n sunglasses plus i gaigned 60pound since HS... Im really tired of this.
  8. Haha nope. Beside I gotta study 😣😂
  9. I had a weird dream where I burned down the shopping center by putting a bomb inside an enveloppe. The police was on to me and wanted to search my cellphone. This was such a stressfull and realistic dream that I was so relieved when I woke up. I dont feel any better with the rumination. All the crappy moment of my life keep rewinding im my head non stop...
  10. We are from the same area I think 😛 Im glad I dont have to leave home this w-e and be stuck in the grand prix rush like last time 😧
  11. Same here. I'm tired of rude people, people that look at me in a rude way, giving me the stink eye look, looking at me in disgust etc. FIY im not in high school...
  12. Cleaned my room. Found 2 halfs empty pot of salsa under my bed. I Think the monster who live under my bed had a party hmm 🤔
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