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About Grant500

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  1. I don't think I'm msg the right way. Sorry

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    2. NoraRae



      Hey! How are things going for you? I'm about 50/50 so that ain't too bad. Do you know why I can't 'chat' anymore? How do I correct that? It was so helpful to get immediate responses. Don't get me wrong, I like the one on one chat/messaging. I just feel like I've been blocked from chat and I really found that super helpful.

      My best to you!




    3. Grant500


      Long time no hear. I don't know why you were banned.
      How are things going other than that?


    4. NoraRae


      Doing pretty good these days. Things have been stressful at work, but I've some issues so I actually feel pretty good about it. I've worked a lot of OT time, but I don't mind so much and am actually looking forward to my timecard to see what benefits have been reaped. How about you? Doing ok?

  2. Hey Grant. Figured I'd try to PM you.


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    2. Grant500


      Things are going well for me.

      I was in a bit of a funk for a couple days. I go through periods where I get obsessed over stupid stuff than I get bored just as quickly. I woke up in a pretty dark space a couple of times. I think it was because i realized that anything that can bring you joy or entertainment will eventually run out.

      How are you doing?

      I don't know much about you. Can you tell me a little about yourself? Age, gender, job, etc.


    3. NoraRae


      Doing ok, I guess. It comes and goes.. depression that is. I was great for awhile, but started packing on the pounds big time so I asked to change meds. So now, I'm back to square one. The med change was SO hard on me. But I'm doing better now. Not sure I'm "good" yet, but at least I'm not a total complete mess.

      As far as me.. female, pushing 40 this month with scares the out of me. I feel like such a failure in life, but that's a whole diff story.

      What about you? Who are you?

    4. Grant500


      I'm 36 year old male. I graduated with a degree in graphic design at almost the exact time that stopped being a useful degree. I do a little freelance here and there but I mostly make consider my degree useless.

      I paint a little bit and read fairly regularly. I spend too much time on the internet. I like board games. I have a fiancee who is pretty awesome but she has two kids who are obnoxious. My fiancee is very supportive and kind. I get irritated at times because I feel like I don't get enough time to myself.

      I don't really know where I want my life to go. I feel like I'm wasting my life delivering pizzas but I didn't really like working in a cubicle and from my experience, the money isn't good enough to justify being that unhappy... I've thought about pursuing illustration more but I worry I'll be just traveling the same route. Graphic Design was something that used to make me happy and doing it as a career ruined that. I don't want to do the same thing with painting.

      Sorry for the long winded reply but... I guess that's kinda everything going on with my life.

      Hope to talk to you again.

  3. Update: Got a sales job yesterday. I actually am trying hard to be optimistic about it.
  4. thank you all for the feedback. MCS, it's more than just criticism. I had one boss tell me "I want you to carry out my ideas, not come up with your own ideas. I don't even want you to improve my ideas." What's even the point in going into a creative field? Misanthrop, that's what I'm asking... Should I just go strictly for money and forget about job satisfaction? Lauryn, I've defintiely considered this. I've applied for several food delivery, clerk, taxi driver jobs recently. While I find it very depressing that at this point in my life being a grocery clerk doesn't sound like the worst possibility I don't really know what else to do. Spell, maybe I do just need to solider on. Maybe the right job is out there for me. Kabuto, your first suggestion is probably the best one. Find something low stress and well paying enough that I would have time in the evening to work on something creative. I have done freelance before and it is definitely not for me. The only way I would be interested in other careers was if I didn't have to go to school. I'm already too far in debt with student loans.
  5. I'm really worried that I'm not going to find a career that I enjoy. I studied graphic design which I really enjoyed in college. 5 years of working in the field... having every ounce of joy sucked out of my designs by uptight business men without a creative bone in their body... has made me lose whatever passion I had for the field. After finally being fired from a very boring, repetitive job where I was pretty much just designing projects from templates, I've spent the past 4 or 5 months soul searching. I really want to get out of graphic design because it is a very unrewarding field (both financially and creatively) so I started working on my illustration career. I'm taking an illustration class which is pretty cool. The teachers are real-world illustrators who have actually worked for magazines that I've heard of. The problem is that it seems like the whole thing with graphic design all over again. They seem to want to suck all the joy out of my illustrations. Anywhere that I exagerate facial features or try to add interest or creativity, they make me redo. The fact that I'm not good at it doesn't bother me. That means I just need to work on it. What I'm really worried about is that I'm not enjoying it. I already had graphic design ruined for me. I don't want to lose the joy I got out of painting ruined as well. I don't know what to do. Is it a losing game trying to find a career that you're passionate about? Is it better to find a dumb, safe job and get hobbies that make you happy? Thanks in advance for any advice.
  6. So, I'm having a catch 22. I take zoloft for anxiety and one of the main things that gives me anxiety is dating. Lately, I've been having trouble having sex and I think that zoloft (along with nerves) is to blame. I realize that the girl I'm dating is not going to want to stick around if i'm not able to make her happy. Any suggestions? I am going to try taking it every other day.
  7. Moogie, I'm sorry if it sounded like I was ignoring the other advice on here. It just seemed like Bird was talking about something specific and I wanted to know what he or she was referencing. By asking for advice specifically on that, I wasn't trying to invalidate the other advice on here but from rereading, I can see how it would be interpreted like that. Sorry again to you and anybody else who might have been offended.
  8. Does anybody have any suggestions? I don't know. I can't just google "how to have a good personality".
  9. "This kind of advice is splattered across the Internet, yet rather than actually taking stepped measures to improve upon what we have there" Do you have any recommendations for things that I could look up? I don't know. I guess it seems to me like I try really hard to be funny and interesting but it never works out. I would love any type of advice people can give me.
  10. Oh, definitely, Whatcha. I think about that all the time. It's just that changing your personality is a lot harder than it sounds. Especially when you don't know what it is about your personality that people don't like.
  11. I'm not sure I understand the logic in saying that you should never lower your standards. I mean, I think we would all prefer to date super attractive, smart, funny, interesting people... but since these type of people make up a relatively small percentage of our population, it seems to me like the majority of us are going to have to settle. Whatcha, I wasn't saying that girls aren't allowed to like what they like. It just seems to me like if your expectations are so high that there's no way those expectations are ever going to be met, at some point you need to reevaluate your expectations. Yes I do get angry, mainly because I know a lot of great guys... not just nice guys but guys who are good looking, smart, interesting, and successful... who sit at home lonely and depressed because they can not find any girls interested in them. I know that the word "settle" has a negative connotation to it but my point is... If a girl who is morbidly obese will only date a guy with rock hard abs or a girl who is constantly unemployed will only date super successful guys... they both need to settle a little bit.
  12. Funky, Thank you for your very thoughtful and kind response. I understand what you're saying but I feel like taking your suggestion just runs me into the same problem. I would love to date a really smart, funny, interesting girl but unfortunately it's not just the bottom of the barrel that avoids me. All girls do. I don't really know how to lower my standards or raise my standards when no girls want to date me. Wri, Thank you for your response as well. I think you are probably right. I am mainly trying to meet girls in their early 30's. I would have thought they would have grown out of that by now but I guess not. If there's nothing I can do to change it, what am I supposed to do? Just be sad and lonely the rest of my life? THat seems way too sad of a conceit.
  13. I've heard the above philosophy (that men are too picky women it comes to women) used many times on this site. Whenever a guy complains about how hard dating is, the answer is almost always "your standards are just too high". Even at times when I've tried explaining "Zero girls want to date me. I don't know how to lower my standards below zero." I am an average looking guy in my mid-30's. I am not bald, short, or overweight. I own my own home and have a decent job. I dress well. I also have a very active social life. Meanwhile I've been rejected by just about every type of girls who (in my mind) have no redeeming qualities... Girls who are unattractive, morbidly obese, chronically unemployed or have dead-end service jobs. I've been rejected by girls who have no personality whatsoever. No matter how much I try to lower my standards, I can't seem to find a girl who will date me. I've tried explaining this to the "men are too picky when it comes to women" people and they don't believe me. They've accused me of lying (where are these invisible women who want to date me so badly?) I finally have proof that this theory is incorrect and it is totally possible to be a perfectly decent guy that no girls want to date. I'm reading this book called Dataclysm. It was written by one of the co-creators of OKCupid and uses the data collected by OKCupid to come up with explanations for why people end up dating the people who they date. In the book, the author came to the conclusion that women are much more critical of men than men are critical of women. When OKCupid asked customers to rate members of the opposite sex (he doesn't go into how gay members rated members of their own sex) on a scale of 0-5 (a feature that OKCupid no longer has), Men gave women an average score of 2.7 (bare in mind that the halfway point between 0 and 5 is only 2.5) whereas women rated men on average 1.9. I don't know. I don't really know what my point is here. I just find it really frustrating that on top of not being able to find any girls who like me, I'm told that it's my fault for being too picky about girls or told that I'm lying.
  14. So, it seems like the basic gist of everything that I'm hearing is that people are upset that the opposite sex have different values when it comes to what they're attracted to. I used to work out, spend lots of money on clothes, comb my hair, shave etc. None of it had any effect on whether or not I got women. Some women I think even like the "rumpled look" of guys who seem like they don't care about their appearance. I know women complain about how society unfairly judges them based on their appearance but at least appearance is something you can change. To me, it's much harder sitting down and looking yourself in the "personality mirror" and realizing that there's something deeply flawed with your personality. I've been spending the past several months trying to figure that out.
  15. I haven't really been keeping track of this whole thread. Just saw the topic and thought I would contribute this for people who are worried that their height will limit their ability to find a mate...