Grant500

So, I've always tried avoiding social media on the grounds that it is not good for depression. In the past 6 months I've been working on a comic book. From talking to successful independent comic book creators, I've come to the understanding that you have to use social media to promote your comic book. I've been doing this for the past couple of months and I really, really hate it. I feel like it is negatively effecting my mood and happiness. It kinda came to a couple nights ago. One of the few people I actually liked on social media randomly blocked me and I don't even know why. It's frustrating on multiple levels because A) I liked her. She was nice and didn't just ignore me when I talked to her. B) She does a podcast and promised to help me promote my comic book. I gave her an advanced copy of the comic book. That was the only real publicity I've managed to generate in like 3 months of working on it. I really hate social media. I feel like it's only purpose is to make people sad and angry. I hate that I'm trying to break into an industry that seems to be dependent on your social media skills. I hate the fact that there are so many crappy and lazy comic books that are making good money because their creators are good at marketing. I hate that I feel like the last kid picked for the kickball team on the playground by a bunch of people who may live in their parents basement. I don't know. I keep asking people how to get better at social media and the only advice they can give me is "be yourself." I worry that if I released my comic book now, nobody would buy it. Is all this time I spent on social media trying to promote my comic book been a waste of time?

My girlfriend and I have been arguing over something. Let me know if you think I'm right or wrong. So about 2 years ago, my girlfriend mentioned that she would like to learn how to play bass guitar. I had already built 2 or 3 musical instruments so I thought it might be a good idea to build one for her. We went to a music store and she tried out several bass guitars. We found the size, shape, sound, look, etc. on several bass guitars and I made a design that combined features from several different ones. I bought the wood, electronics, tuning pegs, paint, etc and started working on it. I cut out the wood, glued it together, wired the electronics, drilled holes for the bridge and tuning pegs, pick-ups, etc. A few weeks later, we had a big birthday party with all of our friends that I presented it to her. She seemed ecstatic and everybody at the party was happy. I was very happy and in good spirits. She seemed really happy that I would go to the trouble to build her something. Since that day, about one year and nine months ago, I would say that she has sat down and played the bass less than 5 times. Never more than 15 minutes at a time. I've tried sitting down with her and showing her techniques, I've made charts for her of the notes at different positions, I've shown her scales. I've bought her books that just sit on the shelf collecting dust. I don't get it. She refuses to play it. The craziest thing to me is that even over this whole quarantine thing where we're all stuck inside, she refuses to play it. I spent 20-30 minutes when the quarantine began showing her scales, techniques, etc. assuming that she would practice them on her own. In my opinion, if I take time out of my day to show you something and then you don't practice it, that's extremely disrespectful. She'll complain about being bored so I'll say "why don't you play your bass?" and she won't do it. The bass has brought us nothing but unhappiness. 2 or 3 pretty big fights were caused by the bass. Everytime I look at it, I get sad. I've told her numerous times it would make me happy if she even spent ten minutes per day playing it and she won't even do that. It's gotten to the point where just looking at it, makes me sad. It just reminds me of what a failure I am. It's a symbol of unrealized potential, wasted effort, failed dreams. Since my girlfriend is getting nothing out of it, and it makes me sad, I suggested that we destroy it. My suggestion was to just take it out into the woods somewhere and have a big campfire. Take all the metal parts off and throw it in the flame. My girlfriend got really mad. My argument was, if I owned something that made her sad and I wasn't using it, I would get rid of it. I don't know. What do you think? Maybe I am the one being a jerk. Let me know what you think I should do.

So, I've been involved with this site in the past and stopped using it for various reasons. I feel like I need a friend to talk to and cannot think of anybody to talk to. I know I've been driving my girlfriend crazy talking so much about it. I would like to talk to somebody over message or over chat, but if you can leave a comment, that would be appreciated too. One of the main causes of my depression is the dawning realization that I will never be able to support myself in a field where I can be creative. Recently it's come to my attention that even being creative in my spare time is impossible. My main problem being that I find it nearly impossible to colaborate with anybody. When I was young I wanted to be either a musician or a painter. Being a naive teenage I thought that because people seemed impressed by my talent that these same people would be willing to give me money to continue making art (they weren't). I quickly realized how difficult it was to make a living in either of these professions. I believed the words of unscrupulous college recruiters who told me that graphic design was the best of both worlds. You can be creative while also making a livable salary. After having several jobs in the graphic design field, I quickly came to realize that it was neither financially nor creatively rewarding. Clients do not want to hear your opinions on how things should be designed. They literally want you to simply carry out their ideas, font choices, photography choices, color choices, etc. without adding any of your own ideas to the mix. Financially, the job is painful. I am constantly feeling the need to justify why I have a job at all with clients who treat me like I'm lucky to make enough money to live off. It is not uncommon for clients to offer me money that are below minimum wage and even jobs at billion dollar companies don't offer health insurance. I'm now working as a taxi driver. I've kept the few graphic design clients who didn't make me hate life (roughly $500-$600/month). It is not a bad life but I do get depressed that I'm doing a job that anybody can do. I've learned to accept that making a living at being creative is something that is just not in the stars for me. I've been trying to continue being creative in my free time but I'm finding it increasingly difficult. I have been trying to work with friends and colleagues on creative projects but find it almost impossible. People are routinely over an hour late for meetings or practices without an excuse or apology. When they get there, they're more interested in the alcohol and gossiping then discussing the project. I feel like a kindergarten teacher who needs to be standing over their shoulders if i want any work to get done. No work whatsoever gets done between practices or meetings. People routinely just get "bored" or "tired" of projects after I've put hundreds of hours of work into them. I don't know. Should I just give up on trying to work with people? Should I just give up on trying to be creative at all?

Update: Got a sales job yesterday. I actually am trying hard to be optimistic about it.

thank you all for the feedback. MCS, it's more than just criticism. I had one boss tell me "I want you to carry out my ideas, not come up with your own ideas. I don't even want you to improve my ideas." What's even the point in going into a creative field? Misanthrop, that's what I'm asking... Should I just go strictly for money and forget about job satisfaction? Lauryn, I've defintiely considered this. I've applied for several food delivery, clerk, taxi driver jobs recently. While I find it very depressing that at this point in my life being a grocery clerk doesn't sound like the worst possibility I don't really know what else to do. Spell, maybe I do just need to solider on. Maybe the right job is out there for me. Kabuto, your first suggestion is probably the best one. Find something low stress and well paying enough that I would have time in the evening to work on something creative. I have done freelance before and it is definitely not for me. The only way I would be interested in other careers was if I didn't have to go to school. I'm already too far in debt with student loans.

I'm really worried that I'm not going to find a career that I enjoy. I studied graphic design which I really enjoyed in college. 5 years of working in the field... having every ounce of joy sucked out of my designs by uptight business men without a creative bone in their body... has made me lose whatever passion I had for the field. After finally being fired from a very boring, repetitive job where I was pretty much just designing projects from templates, I've spent the past 4 or 5 months soul searching. I really want to get out of graphic design because it is a very unrewarding field (both financially and creatively) so I started working on my illustration career. I'm taking an illustration class which is pretty cool. The teachers are real-world illustrators who have actually worked for magazines that I've heard of. The problem is that it seems like the whole thing with graphic design all over again. They seem to want to suck all the joy out of my illustrations. Anywhere that I exagerate facial features or try to add interest or creativity, they make me redo. The fact that I'm not good at it doesn't bother me. That means I just need to work on it. What I'm really worried about is that I'm not enjoying it. I already had graphic design ruined for me. I don't want to lose the joy I got out of painting ruined as well. I don't know what to do. Is it a losing game trying to find a career that you're passionate about? Is it better to find a dumb, safe job and get hobbies that make you happy? Thanks in advance for any advice.

So, I'm having a catch 22. I take zoloft for anxiety and one of the main things that gives me anxiety is dating. Lately, I've been having trouble having sex and I think that zoloft (along with nerves) is to blame. I realize that the girl I'm dating is not going to want to stick around if i'm not able to make her happy. Any suggestions? I am going to try taking it every other day.

Moogie, I'm sorry if it sounded like I was ignoring the other advice on here. It just seemed like Bird was talking about something specific and I wanted to know what he or she was referencing. By asking for advice specifically on that, I wasn't trying to invalidate the other advice on here but from rereading, I can see how it would be interpreted like that. Sorry again to you and anybody else who might have been offended.

Does anybody have any suggestions? I don't know. I can't just google "how to have a good personality".

"This kind of advice is splattered across the Internet, yet rather than actually taking stepped measures to improve upon what we have there" Do you have any recommendations for things that I could look up? I don't know. I guess it seems to me like I try really hard to be funny and interesting but it never works out. I would love any type of advice people can give me.

Oh, definitely, Whatcha. I think about that all the time. It's just that changing your personality is a lot harder than it sounds. Especially when you don't know what it is about your personality that people don't like.

I'm not sure I understand the logic in saying that you should never lower your standards. I mean, I think we would all prefer to date super attractive, smart, funny, interesting people... but since these type of people make up a relatively small percentage of our population, it seems to me like the majority of us are going to have to settle. Whatcha, I wasn't saying that girls aren't allowed to like what they like. It just seems to me like if your expectations are so high that there's no way those expectations are ever going to be met, at some point you need to reevaluate your expectations. Yes I do get angry, mainly because I know a lot of great guys... not just nice guys but guys who are good looking, smart, interesting, and successful... who sit at home lonely and depressed because they can not find any girls interested in them. I know that the word "settle" has a negative connotation to it but my point is... If a girl who is morbidly obese will only date a guy with rock hard abs or a girl who is constantly unemployed will only date super successful guys... they both need to settle a little bit.