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Ennovahs

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About Ennovahs

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  1. I also experience this and usually it's a moment where a trigger will start the memory and then I'm so depressed. I try not to look back but it's so hard not to since things for me have never been the same since. I think this scares me thinking there will be no more happy times but I'm sure that's my depression in control of things as well.
  2. I work in the healthcare industry and learned to never bring up this information. When asked about the time off I would keep it general, health issues that have been resolved. If you wouldn't share this info to a stranger on the street why do it for another stranger interviewing you? Focus on your strengths and steer clear of any type of conversation to dig into any weakness. You are selling your ability to do a good job, and not define yourself as your depression. Just how I've seen it with my job.
  3. My mind usually feels blank like I'm just going through the motions without really noticing what I'm doing. I also have issues with concentration a times. If its really bad I'll be very lethargic to the point my body feels very heavy. At least that is some of my symptoms I've experienced.
  4. I can totally relate to this situation. My job has developed into these same issues where you have like 2 people doing all the work while 4 do nothing at all yet they get paid. When I first started my job it was just so many duties and today it has branched off into double of the duties than when I first started. It is very frustrating to watch others do nothing when you have to do everything. I'm not sure how to fix your situation since I'm trying to figure out how to deal with mine without finding a new job. On top of everything else my salary type changed this week where I get no possibility of overtime pay, so in a way I actually got a reduction of pay with same duties that need to get done. It's so nuts I'm still trying to grasp how this even happened to me. Anyway, good luck and I hope you find a solution. I too get very angry with others easily now.
  5. Depends on my situation and perhaps something reminds me of a sad point in my past. There are days I cry all the way to work and then I just shut things off while I'm there. During the winter time I cry the most I think.
  6. For me it can be days and most times I can feel it coming. There are times though when it seems like a truck hit me with my depression so it was very fast.
  7. Xora, I feel empty most days myself and have to remind myself that with depression life is not always going to be easy. For me my depression keeps me from doing the things I should probably do and/or do things i want to do. Socially it makes me feel like a freak. Ironically i have a highly social job which makes me interact with many people day in and day out. I usually can tell when my depression is hitting me based on others noticing that I'm not acting right or they make the cheer up comments. Sometimes I feel like I'm wearing a mask for others just so they don't think I am depressed. I would suggest trying small goals as a start. Set even the smallest thing to do which has helped me lead into other larger events. More importantly, don't give up on your small goals. If you feel overwhelmed then go back down to the smaller goals even if that's just to get up and do something for yourself. I had to do that today and I'm starting to feel a little better despite some stress from work, family issues, and life in general.
  8. I had a co-worker who I hid my depression from for 2 years the best I could only because she I didn't think they would understand. Just recently she experienced a bout of depression and finally understands and we are able to talk about it. Some things just have to be fully experienced in order to be fully understood and I believe depression is one of those things.
  9. First thought... will I start crying today going to work or will I just feel sad?
  10. I feel an emptiness in my chest like nothing is there, which in turn makes me want to avoid people. I begin to sigh a lot without even realizing it. Then I get really tired and stop eating much of anything, and in crowded areas I feel at times people know how I feel that turns on the guilt within me. All these things start like a domino effect so when I do feel that emptiness it's depressing knowing the other will follow.
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