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Everything posted by Cupcake_girl

  1. I felt pretty good today untill I came home. I'm really exhausted and I'm feeling absolutely horrible, I'm disgusted with myself :(
  2. I feel like I'm on the right track with almost every aspect of my life, don't get me wrong, it's definitely not perfect but it has improved quiet a lot already so I'm grateful about that. If I could change one thing though it would be that I don't want to be alone anymore. I want a boyfriend so much, it hurts me thinking about still being alone.. It had crushed my selfesteem so yeah, I know nobody can make me feel complete but I just want the experience of being in a relationship. So that's what I would like to change, I hope to find the courage to get myself out there and to be dating in a year from now. That's my goal!
  3. To tommorow. I will be meeting up with some of my friends, I haven't seen them in person in almost 3 weeks now.. So I'm excited for tommorow!
  4. Yeah same here. During the day I'm fine most of the time because I am keeping myself busy but when I'm going to sleep I'm all by myself.. And that's when my mind goes crazy and then I feel so depressed an sick. It's aweful, I don't want to cry myself to sleep because it makes me wake up exhausted. But anyways, yeah I have the same as you.
  5. I want to take care of myself by eating healthy and sleeping good and meeting up with my friends
  6. I'm very sad and just tired... Can't wait till today is over and I can go to sleep again.
  7. Very nervous.. Tommorow is the first day of my intern and it just has to go right. So I'm feeling very anxious and I just can't relax.
  8. Dress myself up and make myself look pretty. I already picked out my outfit for tommorow and I think it looks so cute lol. I can't wait to put it on again and do my hair and make up.
  9. Ok. I can't make something better of it. I don't feel aweful but I'm not feeling good either.. Hope tommorow is a better day.
  10. I understand how you feel. I'm 20 and I never had a relationship either, not even a date.. If think about this I feel less as a person too because I feel I'm missing out on the best thing in life. I get love from my family and friends but it's just not the same.. It hurts me so much when I hear my friends talking about there love life, I just envy them. Why is this so easy for them and not for me? It makes me sick to my stomach and wonder what the heck is wrong with me? I want someone to love me so much. I am sweet, caring and people often call me beautiful but for whatever reason nobody has ever liked me like that. *At least not that I know of* I've worked on every other aspect of my life and it's all going well but this is the only part I'm still totally stuck at and clueless about. I feel desperate inside. So I'm going to work on this with a therapist now. I can't let this be anymore. All I crave is someone to love me romantically. I don't want to
  11. Oh I love that too. There such a joy to be around and I can totally be me and act silly and stupid haha. That's why I love kids in general, there not as judgemental as ppl my age.
  12. Well everyday I get reminded that I have the best family in the world. There always there and I can always count on them :) And then my sweet friends at school, there great and always manage to cheer me up and bring a smile to my face even the worst days, I love them! And just about today. A class I always suck at went really well and I cooked a nice meal for my family. Today is a sweet day :)
  13. 1. I made my mom happy with my cooking 2. The weather was nice and warm wich made me feel like going into town for some shopping. 3. So I just had a good day!
  14. Very very tired but I am already for the past week our so. But yeah I'm feeling good today! :)
  15. Yes I understand what you mean. I could talk about my issues it all day cause my mind is so full of it. I do have great ppl around me though who DO tell me to stop because it's just not fun to them. For me sometimes talking about it is good but I know I'm not doing myself a favour by always talking about it and the ppl around me neither. Someone close told me straight up once it was affecting her too then and she just didn't wanted to talk about it all the time anymore. I felt very upset, mad actually, how dare you say that! But when I thought about it for a while I understood and was gratefull she told me that. Because it made me realize it does ppl turn ppl off honestly. So I'm doing my best now not talking about it too much anymore and I can tell you that it really helps me feeling better. Because for me not talking about it means I think about it less :)
  16. Pretty worthless.. I feel empty but at the same time I want to cry..
  17. I'm just exhausted and I can't wait to go to bed..
  18. Watching tv to keep myself awake.. I'm tired but it's not time to go to sleep yet..
  19. No I'm not. Last year I was but since I'm back in school I've managed to make new friends and it's great. I use to push everyone away because I just wanted to be alone but it only made me more ill.. I've found a few great friends now who are pretty easy to talk with and who I can hang out with. It really makes my day if a friend tells me I helped them out. It makes me feel valuable and it also makes me realize I'm not the only person with problems, they might not have a depression but they still have there things as well. I don't know, for me letting friends into my life really did something good for me. I just don't have time to constanly busy with my own issues anymore. I still like my alone time but it's like 50/50 now. Last year I really wanted friends and now I have them again! It's nice :)
  20. Short term goals: * Starting with couseling again * Getting through my first year of college * Have an awesome birthday lol. * Take good care of myself * And feeling better one day at the
  21. lol at least you seem to know decent people with a (from the sounds of it) good dress sense! Thanks to people over here, I actually despise tracksuits with a passion. No offence if any of y'all ever wear them, but if you lived here under my circumstances you'd surely understand. Planning my clothes for tech tomorrow. Black skinnies, black flat shoes, black or white shirt while wearing a red/black checked shirt sounds good. Must get my red studded belt too! Punk style haha. Haha well yeah I do know quiet some ppl who dress good but I also know a lot who don't. In the end it doesn't really matter of course. If someone is comfortable with his style it's good! I'm sure there ppl as well who don't like how I dress but I can care less about that because I am the one who has to feel comfortable.
  22. I don't know.. Today was good but I'm just really really nervous for tommorow. I don't feel good at all, can't wait till tommorow is over.
  23. Well that I love pink and strawberries haha. I just love fruits! They taste good and I think they look pretty and colourfull :)
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