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Everything posted by bh34465

  1. I think experimentation when younger is more common than you would think. I don't think because it was with the same sex, or with a cousin, is unusual. If you are wondering if that makes you gay, it doesn't. However, if you are currently having feelings about the same sex, don't be afraid to address those feelings. It doesn't make you less of a man if you experimenting with same sex as a child, or if you are having feelings now for same sex. I would suggest meeting with a therapist who deals with sexual issues. They could explain things to you in a way that might ease your fears about it. I grew up with a lot of different sexual issues and experiences and many of them were confusing, and they caused a lot of guilt into adulthood. Once I understood the psychology behind it, it eased a lot of the confusion. I had several things happen, but one was very similar to what you are describing. I think it is good that you were brave enough to address it.
  2. allalone6, I have had bosses and co-workers that were difficult to deal with. I would guess that just about everyone has. I didn't hate them, but I hated how they treated me (and others). I know that it is difficult and can cause great stress. I am a perfectionist, and when it comes to doing something for others, I want it to be perfect, and I worry that it is right. So, I can relate. It is no fun being in fear that your superior is going to react in a negative way to your work, especially if you did your best. It is easy to withdrawal trust from people because of the way they respond to your depression, but there are some that are worth your trust who will understand. Maybe you will make a friend that you can confide in. I am a quiet person in general, except when I know someone really well, and I know how some react when being quiet or withdrawn. They take it as being mad or sullen. It is okay to not talk about your depression with everyone, but I hope you will find a therapist, friend, etc. that you can share with. I think it might help. I don't know if you haven't taken meds in four months because you got off of them, or because you didn't go back to see the doctor. If it is the latter, and you need the meds, I would call the doctor for a refill. I don't know if any of this is helpful. If not, just know that people do care, and there are people here who want to help.
  3. -- I hardly ever eat candy bars, but I ate a Snickers -- Didn't beat myself up -- Bought some fish oil supplements to see if they will help me
  4. I'm proud that I managed to go through some old paperwork that had been piling up for a few months. I filed the ones that needed it, and shredded the ones that were unimportant. I got a couple of bills paid. I crammed in a walk and made it out to eat lunch and then a meeting. I called the doctor's office and got them to call in a prescription for me.
  5. -- didn't nap the day away -- organized and shredded a lot of paperwork -- managed to make time to take a walk
  6. Rosegirl -- I am sorry you are struggling. I am still waiting for a call from the mental health clinic with my treatment plan. I was getting low on my meds, which I thought would last until I started going to the new facility. I called the doctor to see if he can call in a prescription. I have had my struggles. I've had some bad days, and I've had some better days. When it gets bad, I usually post some rambling message for on here.
  7. -- talked by phone with a new friend -- got my dogs groomed -- vacuumed my floors
  8. people who do care, love me, and support me the nice DF members my dogs
  9. -- I talked to a new friend on the phone -- I got talk about some things that were bothering me -- I got some laundry done
  10. -- I washed a load of laundry -- Went for a walk -- Watered some plants
  11. Sometimes people use words that are hurtful. Sometimes people say one thing, but we hear another, and that is hurtful. Sometimes, it is what someone doesn't say that is hurtful. I have recently experienced all these, and it triggered hurt feelings in me. We all react to things. It is important that we don't let it drag us down regardless of whose fault it is. Talking it out with your therapist is a good way to process and deal with it, and I wouldn't worry about being blamed.
  12. I'm sorry you are going through this. I know the feeling of having no friends, or no one to rely on when you need it. Making new friends is not always easy.
  13. I feel blah today, and just want to sleep. I don't feel like getting out, so I will stay inside, and make the most of the day.
  14. --> I had a good breakfast --> I had a good lunch --> I got two chores done
  15. -- I washed a load of laundry -- Washed dishes -- Made an appt with dog groomer
  16. I don't know if "bugs" is a strong enough word for this, but it angers me when people assume things about others without really knowing them. They ask questions as if they are genuinely interested, but they are really just fishing for info that they can later gossip about. They can know that one is hurting and never sincerely ask how one is doing, or if they can help. They want to be accepted for who they are, but they reject or exclude others for lesser things.
  17. I could name a bunch of things I am NOT proud of, and I was reminded of many of them today. However, I am proud of: taking a walk even though I wasn't motivatedbeing around people today and last night, instead of isolating myselfthat I am trying to be proactive in dealing with my mental healththat I have added some healthy foods into my diet
  18. I am feeling especially down, but I am going to try to make the best of the rest of the day, and then get a good night's sleep.
  19. Okay, this might be grasping at straws in order to turn a bad situation into a positive one, but I am thankful for finding out which are really good friends, and which are fair-weathered friends. It was a hurtful revelation, and it did cause me to be depressed, but I am thankful that I didn't invest too much time into them. I am thankful for some new acquaintances who are potential friends. I am thankful for those who are or have been in my life who truly loved me and cared for me.
  20. I mostly drink water these days, but I bought myself some Arizona Green Tea I allowed myself not to walk as far as usual because I didn't feel well I took a nap
  21. I found my way somewhere without getting lost I didn't get lost when I took a new direction back home I talked with someone who was genuine and understanding
  22. loulou11, Sorry you are feeling this way. I am also waking up with feelings of dread. I don't want to get out of bed some days. Over time, I think things have gotten better, but it is a struggle. As Geode said, 'you are not alone.'
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