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Everything posted by bh34465

  1. I feel exposed, guilty, and indecisive. I feel like a failure in life and in relationships. I feel like a man who asks for love, but then pushes it away. I feel like a man who wants love, but fails to recognize it when it comes. I feel like a man who makes mistakes, procrastinates, and fails to do what he knows he could do, and excuses it all under the umbrella of being depressed. I feel like a man who crawled up a mountain one painful leg at a time, only to slide all the way back down. I feel insecure. I feel like a man who others see as having it together on the outside, but who is a billion broken pieces on the inside. I feel afraid - sometimes afraid of failing, other times afraid of succeeding.
  2. That I went for a walk, and then still had enough energy to go to the store and look around.
  3. That I am realizing that some days are better than others, and it is okay to take care of me. Proud I did cleaning yesterday, which made the house feel more comfy today while it rained outside.
  4. it rained I took a nap I had an in depth conversation with someone
  5. Started off the day feeling really down. Now, I am in sort of a neutral state. I have been trying to look at everything in a positive way, but sometimes I do feel overwhelmed.
  6. -- got my walk in -- got a discount at a business -- got a Valentine's Day card in the mail
  7. 1) I managed to make myself breakfast 2) I ate lunch even though I didn't want to eat 3) I got through my difficult morning and am starting to feel better
  8. I have been feeling down and tired so far. I'm feeling better depression-wise as the day goes on, but the tiredness is still around.
  9. --> took a walk, and walked an extra lap --> had a good support group --> got some rain
  10. JamesAway, I can relate to much of your story. I lost a home, jobs, etc. because of depression, and I was resistant to taking anti-depressants. I did eventually start to take them, and they were very helpful. If you don't take them long enough they don't help, and if you stop taking them abruptly the side effects can be bad. I knew nothing about AD meds when I was first prescribed one, but because you had experience with them, or knowledge about them, she probably was leaving up to your discretion for that reason. I wish you the best.
  11. Got a load of laundry done, watered some plants, washed a few dishes, and toughed out an extra lap on my walk.
  12. I was going to post a topic with a similar question. I have been diagnosed with MDD. A few days ago, I was at a friend's house, and I talked almost non-stop for several hours. I thought it could just be from being alone so much and not talking, but I also wondered if it could be bipolar.
  13. I met some friends for breakfast, and I enjoyed it. I washed a load of laundry. I walked one extra lap today.
  14. I like your posts by because they remind me of when I was first deeply depressed (10 years ago that was). My route to recovery was just like this. Making note of every little achievement I made. In the end, the little things got bigger and I got stronger. Good luck my friend. It's an uphill struggle but one it's worth engaging in. Tessar, Thanks. So kind of you. Very encouraging. This is the worst depression I have ever gone through.
  15. Abelabelabel, I agree with DreamAgain that your writing is very insightful. You did a good job of describing your depression and anxiety. I could relate to much of what you wrote, and I couldn't have written it better myself. I think it is good that you are self-aware about your mental health, and that you are able to do many things that help you with your depression and anxiety. I understand feeling that you are doing so many things to help yourself, but not seeming to get anywhere. I experience that, too. I'm sure others here do also. Thanks for sharing.
  16. put on my warm robe when I was chilly bought some ice cream took a hot bath
  17. I took a walk, went to pick up a prescription, took a shower, and looked around in a store; all in spite of feeling down.
  18. Remembering that "feelings aren't facts" helped with my anxiety. The realization that depression wants me to do the opposite of what is healthy, positive, and productive.
  19. I just started taking fish oil supplements. I'm hoping that work.
  20. Have a sore throat and feeling generally okay emotionally
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