RandomBloke

Thanks for the nice replies guys, I didn't think it would, but it does give a bit of comfort to know you are not alone - even if it is through an anonymous internet forum. Rich R: That is EXACTLY it.....who am I to feel like this when I have food, a roof over my head and clothes on my back. I feel so ashamed of feeling like this when I KNOW there are people much worse off than me, and its this judgement that makes me keep it all inside and want to deal with this on my own - if truth be know my family are a big part of why I feel the way I do, and I do not want to burden them(it would be a burden, trust me) but that is for another post when I feel more comfortable sharing my situation problems. Most people think I am fine, happy, the joker of the group, and I used to be.....now I am that just as a mask on the outside, when inside I feel like I am falling apart, crying for no reason out of the blue (my eyes started dripping as I write this), unable to sleep, going out only when I need food or cigarettes. *sigh* I will continue to read around the board, and hopefully feel able to share sooner rather than later. Thanks again.

Thank you for your nice replies. gemstar, your (hugs) made me smile, then burst into tears and I have no idea why as it is such a nice gesture - thank you! I am so up and down all the time, one minute all positive and thinking I will do this and that, then the next so low I am looking at boxes of tablets and thinking it would be so much better to go to sleep and not wake up, I feel like I am losing my mind. I have read some sad stories already on here, and while mentally they may be no more worse of than myself, their locations in the world and circumstances with money, food and accomodation make me feel like a fraud or guilty even, for thinking the way I am thinking. Again thanks for your replies, I will keep reading as I cannot sleep anyway, and don;t have the attention span to do anything else.

Hi guys, Just wanted to say hello. Sat here typing with tears rolling down my face, but glad to have found this forum. I would like to have a read of other peoples posts before I bear my own soul, but as I said just wanted to take that first step and say hello.