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  1. She was a GOOD liar and used God and emotions to pull at me. We read the bible almost every night-- I don't find the Bible interesting. I thought she would change. I AM completely in the wrong. But how do I keep her from coming into my house and stealing my stuff while I'm gone is the type of advice I'm asking for.
  2. Hi I'm Andrew! I can be angry, anxious and depressed sometimes I also have trouble sleeping. I have low self-esteem because I allowed myself to be with a woman like this: TL:DR How do you protect yourself from a nasty breakup legally? How do I become more patient and find the right woman? The situation: -She constantly had bruises on her body. I asked her she said she didn't know how she got them and she bruises easily. She just said she will call the cops and say the bruises came from me hitting her. And that was the last stand I told her to go. -She was drunk every day when I met her. Had no voice she drank so much. I'm a dumbass Capt. SaveAHoe and made her promise she would stop. -She didn't know the address to her own job. I asked her where she worked and said she couldn't tell me. Found out she's lying about work. She was a dominatrix. Said she got "fired". But Google Maps told me where she actually was. Not "work". -Said she was allergic to condoms. -Didn't want me to talk to anyone. Especially women. Had to stop talking to my best friend of 16 years who's a woman. -Lived with me because she had no place to go and no job. -Didn't want to give me my keys back after I told her to leave months ago. -Finally left after I threw her things by the door. -Signed a legal document that she should move out by X date and didn't I'm not an angel because I was angry often as she would leave the crib messy and come in and leave when she wanted (drunk). But I thought she would change. I don't drink. I just like the gym and learning and ya know. But she has all kinds of sketchy friends who are in and out of jail and she's bats*** crazy. PS - If you're in NY and interested in bettering yourself-- reach out.
  3. Where can I start a journal (consistent thread) on this site?
  4. Physically full of energy. But I need to study, not move. Is it Anxiety or ADHD, what's the cause? Woke up with a headache and took generic Excedrin, contains caffeine. I believe caffeine and stimulants is a huge trigger for me. Rhodiola did the same last month. I've had the hardest time breathing consistently enough to relax myself and the most anxiety I've had in a while. Breathing, is the key, but breathing through my nose to activate my PNS is hard, always has been (always stuffed). It feels like there is an internal war going on with all the thoughts that compete (doubt, but worse fear) . It's why I feel like I must withdraw from classes or take next semester off. How is it that sitting and reading makes me so anxious? Almost scared. No exaggeration. I feel it running through my body and veins, but don't know what it is other than misplaced thoughts & energy. I can play sports without thinking about it but being still is the hardest obstacle in my life. All activities and tasks and past events come into my mind and I lose concentration within seconds. After 1 Line, concentration is gone. It doesn't help that my sleep is fragmented or I got to sleep at about 4-5 AM because of what MUST BE anxiety. I'm still searching for comfort in food, I realize this, but I want to be in shape again. I just need help getting up this hill, so I took medication again for the first time. Generic Effexor, Venlafaxine. Half of the minimum dose, 1st stage of medication. Will the norepinephrine & serotonin help? Could it be the caffeine, or Midterm week that drove my anxiety and body to the point of where I can't do any work? I promised myself I would take it one class at a time 1 day at a time but it's like my body doesn't realize this is just paper & words.
  5. SO right it's not height. It's insecurity, anxiety, w/e. What if you had the height are you sure it wouldnt be something else. Care about the others around you more than thinking about yourself so much. What would you recommend for the insecurity though, I say repeat mantras to yourself like programming. Be good to people any yourself.
  6. Wow hope you get the answer and reply. I have an extremely hi libido (ask any woman that has been with me lol), and I just started Venlafaxine. if it lowers my libido to a point where I'm less of an animal, I'd be happy. Then I can fully concentrate on the amazing qualities other than physicality.
  7. Wow never looked at my emotions that way. However anger does give me strength. But if we do reject negative thoughts we wont stay in that negative thought>emotion>action> process which = to depression in a lot of us whose bodies don't react to stress well.
  8. My experience with this med, is that you feel like you are in a nursing home even at a low dose. It might take 2 weeks to wear off, but I have had insomnia for a while and it was the best thing. I could not refuse to sleep, but it didn't help depression because I felt guilty not getting things done, and I was already isolated enough. I have not had people who understand the meds or the situation so pleased to meet you all and, Speedy Recovery.
  9. I've heard good things about Seroquil. Try Rozerem (gen. Ramaelton) if you have good experiences with Melatonin (it's synthetic Melatonin to a point), I've had trouble slowing down thoughts or relaxing enough to fall asleep for years. Melatonin worked, plus I don't remember my dreams anyway, would love to. My question is there anything that finds and solves the problem? These meds just mask symptoms, which is good until we can deal with the causes (anxiety, w.e.) but I feel like I am alone and it contributes to me being anxious and depressed. The worst thing is I feel shaky now at 25 after 7 years of this. I'm pretty athletic so feeling physically shaky often is, well scary and a red flag. Just need somewhere to vent.
  10. I want something that helps me focus and be less sidetracked (it affects me on multiple levels) but I also have had real insomnia for about 7 years. Im 24 so I want to get this under wraps now. I actually think I cant sleep because I can't focus and go into a relaxed mode. My thoughts bounce around when I lay down. Are there any alternatives that will help me relax, sleep and focus, or is that on the anxiety side?
  11. One more thing, the reason why I stressed you need to act and not him is simple: He seems like a baby-- with a lot more baggage. When you had a baby you know all the hard work it took to nurse that baby into a healthy man. He is now emotionally and mentally, a baby, maybe a pre-teen. Might sound odd, but he stopped growing. There is hope for him however, he's not dead.
  12. PlanetBlue, as a young man in his twenties who has dealt with some of the same life issues, I think it's time to force a rehab. A mental rehab, physical, whatever it may be. Your financial help does him no good alone. His inability to grow up may come from ADHD or Depression or a lack of coping skills and life skills. It is my major issue. Regardless you are looking at the outcome. I think everyday of a place to start, how to get out, and change everything once and for all. Is there some type of rehab for someone that isn't abusing substances? But I would if it would make me feel better, is what I think to myself. His substance problems is a bad coping skill if not a mindful way of trying to escape. The matter of your son: you see the outcome. If he was gonna pick himself up the time would have passed. He needs a plan, and a shock that can change his brain chemistry. He definitely needs moral support, don't escape the issue or so will he. It's obvious because he told a female of his suicidal thoughts. I would never do that even if I thought about it 99% of the time. He wants to escape, thats just one way. I'm speaking first hand. I have no talking relationship with my father. But, I feel guilty for leeching, I just feel so useless that I don't think I am capable. Maybe he feels the same, i dont know. Your son, may be different, he may be having fun. But I doubt it. The proof is in the pudding, his head and body language is low. He is defeated. Step in now. You can allow the life to be sucked out of all of you 1 day at a time or take most of that damage up front and struggle through the other side. I view it as the functionalist sociologist will; He is part of your family tree, a functioning and important part as long as he is alive. View him as a branch or vine. If he does not function he is bad for survival, for himself and the entire tree. You can either cut that arm off before it affects the rest of the tree (something will grow in its place) or live with the consequences of not trying. He needs a big step in. He is like me in a lot of ways; don't try to diagnose him, just look at the results. Believe me, if he is like me, he is already noticing all the things you are. His lack of self esteem and his bad life skills are affecting him. He wants to change, just doesn't know how, or he lacks the self control, determination, etc. You're gonna do something sooner or later, right? Or will you allow him to die slowly? When you stop growing you start dieing, take it from someone who knows.
  13. Thank you I accept that hug and raise you a kiss on the cheek I'd also like to add its been 3 weeks since your post and mine as well. To be honest i completely forgot about the forums and my response, thats life. I think the problem is we dont focus on things that matter. I started coining a term lately-- mental hoarding. Its just like physical hoarding where we hold onto the things that dont matter-- instead of things we need immediately. If I, and others can focus on the things that make life better-- like communicating and building relationships with understanding members here-- we'd be on our way. Then again lack of focus is part of the menal affliction.
  14. I want to simplify life to focus on what is important but I can't with all this crap begging to be organized. I'm easily distracted. Even picking which forum thread to read first is hard. Then I want to read them all. Everyone has faced this dilemma before. If not, you're heartless or careless or balanced. So friends, help me out. Im cleaning up and thinking about what to throw away and what to keep. I hate throwing perfectly good things away. Its bad because I do it every time I clean. But I can't have a GOODWILL box in my house. So whats the rule, if you havent used it in xx throw it out? If its worth more than xx sell it? Or give everything to goodwill and feel better? I don't have much room here in NYC I believe I will restore, sell or use everything one day. But rarely do I don't like wasting things, even food. I'm talking; phone cords, chargers, magazines, old clothes/ computer parts. NOT PAPER AND TRASH. Ok I save 1 too many cardboard boxes. This is for my mental health and physical space. Don't judge me. I'm not moving, but I hate moving, so it's like moving, except im not moving :lmao: Please tell me something that makes it click, I go through this everytime i clean and it is unproductive. This explains it http://www.heroicdes...minimalism/1498.
  15. This was the most important part of your post. Thoughts are not facts. You need to read this out loud until you believe it. Going into anything without confidence is like trying to use a broken bucket to bail out water. What you need is confidence in yourself, get to know yourself. I am just like you. I have signed up at a desparate moment and introduced myself. This is the starting point. Do what helps, but force yourself to do beyond what you're comfortable with to truly get better. This is not the life you're going to live and don't take no for an answer. I know myself that I am very hard on myself and unstable like you. But this can change, people enjoy life and they deal with worse s*** than us. We have all gotten off course and are unbalanced in our approach and thinking. Whatever helps, but learn the skills to cope and accept yourself as you are until life runs its natural course. Pain is inevitable suffering is optional. I'm here for the same reason as you, living with the same things, but I'm gonna keep telling myself this until I D*** well believe it. Here's what I do & here's my plan I'm working on this week. Maybe we can start a thread Watch dog whisperer. I love dogs they make me happy and his message is true for us as well. He rehibilitates dogs and they live in the moment. Until we live in the moment we can't recover. Stay physically active and be kind to yourself Realize I am not hopeless or a lost cause. I am hopeful and I have a purpose. I will be kind to myself. Breathe fresh air everyday, sit under a tree, by a park, whatever... just be, not think, just be. Andrew, 23, 7 years of hard work.
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