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lipstickdreams

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About lipstickdreams

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  1. Hey, like title says, I have book an appointment to see the dr and I tried to tell her last time but I could. I am thinking of making a list so that if I start crying again (this happens when i get ultra nervous!) then I can no hide away, its written down but will the dr think this is strange? I have a binge eating ED and I dont know what I am expecting from my dr, I just want it to STOP! I need help. I have put on nearly 4st since sept when I started on fluoxetine but the more out of control and down I feel, the worse it gets. Such a bad cycle! Just looking for reassurance really. What did your drs say?? Thanks.
  2. Hey all, Been with my OH for nearly 8 years, engaged for 3 but hate the word fiance, and he told me today that he didnt think he would be able to stay with me if I didnt get better. He has been amazing so far! But he thinks did think that by giving me something to do (cleaning the kitchen!) it would give me a reason to get up and do something even though i pointed out a hundred times that the presure makes me stress and stressing doesnt make me clean! He admitted today that it does annoy him that I am not as motivated as I used to be and so its not helping him as he does the "shes not moving so why should I?!" kind of thing. But he honestly said he could not marry me if I was still like this, and he doesnt think unless I get "fixed" he could stay with me forever (like planned... meant to be getting married this year if it wasnt for poor finances) I am really scared!! I love him so much and have never ever met such an amazing person, he means literally the world to me and I dont know what I would do if I lose him. I know that one day I should get better but right now it currently feels like never! Dont really expect responces just needed to tell people and hope he changes his mind...
  3. Hey all, been coming and reading this forum for the last few weeks and this is my first post! Just needed to get a lot of my plate so to speak. So i got diagnosed with depression and started fluoxetine last september however I feel its something I have suffered with since I about 11 (bullied in school) however I enjoyed Uni, and the last 2 years have been a nightmare quite literally. So heres the deal, Christmas was a nightmare, started to feel a little better after but monday I felt AWFUL. Didnt want to be here anymore. I thought I was getting better?!?! Problem is I have no close friends who live near me, my best friends live 100 miles away and my other half feels I have got worse since I started medication. This time last year I was driving for 2 hours a day on a bruised coccyx (now after steriod injection is bit better) and working a busy 9 hour day teaching yet now I cant get out of bed! How can I go from one extreme to the other?! Feel like I have literally burnt out but is this even possible? After telling my manager (self employed and work 1 night a week) it felt a lot better, and my friend from uni is being fab, answering questions I havent even asked yet but I still feel like I am never going to get better... I cry when im nevous so find it hard to talk face to face, and my anxiety at the moment is awful!! Meant to be going back to Dr soon to discuss how I am getting on but she doesnt know I have a eating disorder, I literally binge every single day which makes me worse and I feel like I cant control it. I want to tell her but scared how she will judge me, since sept I have put on over 40lbs :( doesnt help with confidence!! After all that my brain has just sort of gone bluuuuurrrrgggghhhh!! Having more issues with my memory and stuff since taking the meds than before (although I am now thinking about it more I suppose). Anyways, if anyone has read all this thank you so much! Its been like opening a shook can of coke, just needed to rant sorry :( might be around here bit more now I finally signed up!! xxx
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