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About jnh88

  • Birthday January 23

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  1. i’ve been on zoloft for about 2.5 months. this is my first full month on 100mg. i noticed that my anxiety has significantly improved because i am able to work and be out of the house. however it seems i am left with the depression (which is a weird thing to be aware of without the anxiety). is it possible zoloft is working for anxiety and not my depression? i’ve been very complacent, not caring about things one way or another. it’s so frustrating. i just want to wake up in the mornings without feeling so hopeless and wanting to go back to bed :(
  2. day 13! the agitation and jitters are beginning to subside. although still struggling with excessive sleepiness and lack of appetite. however my partner said that he had noticed a difference!! i guess it’s hard for me to notice yet but i feel as though i am slowly getting better each day and able to use the coping skills my therapist has also recommended. i’m thinking of switching to take this in the evening though in hopes to combat the constant drowsiness
  3. day 9 for me..just upped to 50mg today and feel the jittery nervousness coming back. since starting zoloft i’ve been incredibly sleepy, agitated, apathetic, and no motivation to do anything. i know it takes a while but i’m wondering if this drug isn’t going to work for me. each day is so hard to power through..
  4. i am coming to terms with my depression and realizing a lot about my behaviors and habits. i got a full panel of blood tests with my GP to rule out underlying causes. i found that my micronutrients are great and within range but i’m not eating enough to stabilize my blood sugar. i realize now that my appetite has been quite low for the past year or so. it’s hard to eat when nothing sounds good. i make sure to have a nutrient dense smoothie daily (greens, fruit, protein, fats etc) but i suppose the rest of my meals are a bit light and small mostly because i can’t seem to stomach a lot. I'm just curious, what is your go to when your appetite is low but you know you need to eat?
  5. hello beautiful people. after years of therapy and really trying my best to improve my thoughts, diet, exercise, yoga, meditation etc i am trying medication again to ease depression and anxiety. i’m really working my way through the stigma and mental illness that runs in my family. i have tried wellbutrin, celexa, and prozac 5-6 years ago and the side effects were so intense that i never even have them a chance. i am trying zoloft and really doing my best to give it a chance this time. i’m on day 4 feeling like my anxiety and depression are slightly exacerbated, spaced out, jittery, nervous, low appetite, waking up in the middle of the night, moving through slow motion, and unmotivated. and i think i’m also a little on edge having something sythentic coursing through my body. i am just asking for words of encouragement to get through this ramp up phase and even success stories. namaste
  6. I'm sorry that your mother isn't helping matters. I go through a similar situation with my mother only she tells me I'm really just possessed by a demon :/ I struggle because I don't have a support system whatsoever until I started joining the online community. I've met some wonderful people that are great to talk to, especially in bad times. I can understand where your mom is coming from when she suggests getting a job. I'm unemployed right now but when I have a job sometimes it's nice to meet new people and get a sense of accomplishment. Please don't hesitate to message me if you would like to talk.
  7. I graduated last year and have only had call center positions that I HATED and quit. I went back to serving only to be fired sadly and I've been unemployed for about a month. It is HARD to find a decent paying job that you also enjoy. But keep searching! I'm sure something will turn up eventually for us both!
  8. I'm curious to know, if you could change something over night- is there something that would lift you out of your depression or at least put you on the right track for recovery in terms of situational depression? Mine would be to find a decent paying job that I like and move out of my parents' home as it proves to be a toxic, negative environment. What about you?
  9. This sounds like an interesting book! I am not ashamed to say that thoroughly enjoy self help books. Sometimes it's nice to see different sides of things
  10. Have you ever had a "nervous breakdown" and checked yourself into a hospital? I haven't ate in days and I'm so sick. I cannot pull it together and I cannot stay in my head anymore. What happens if I go to a hospital?
  11. I feel like I am desperately starved for love. Romantic love, family love, friendship love, etc. I've always been a lonely person in my short 24 years of living but I just can't love or receive love. I loved a guy once not too long ago for the first time ever. It was like all the love I never gave or received all in one relationship. So naturally when it ended it was the most destroying episode of my life and unfortunately I am still living in this depressive time. Logically he isn't even a decent person but I hate being attached to that still. I don't like people and I HATE that about myself. I am unapproachable but I don't know how to be different. I have very few friends left and last night one then said I was a Biotch when we were out. I don't think she meant it to be offensive because they all always say they wish they could be more like me. Maybe it's a defense mechanism I have but I don't like it. Now I've just been dwelling on the whole thing because I'm a dweller. Sometimes I think I have some type of undiagnosed psychological disorder. This was a random post and doesn't really scratch the surface of me but the whole thing is I just want love in my life. And I don't mean from a romantic partner just in general. I know I should love myself and that should be enough but it's not. I don't need everyone to like me but I just want to feel worth it. If anyone ever wants to chat PM me because I would love to talk with someone who is depressed etc.
  12. I had a boyfriend that I was head over heels for. I thought he felt the same so of course I didn't see it coming when he ended it. For nine months following, we still slept together and hung out. All the while he was emotionally abusing me, and I let him. I didn't stand up for myself and I'm so ashamed. And naturally he moved on without me to a girl who looks absolutely wonderful. She's optimistic and full of life. He said I was nothing but negative and boring and just brought him down. Those are insecurities I already suffered from, and now he confirmed them. It's why I'm depressed. I don't know how to get over it. All I do is obsess about our screwed up relationship and how he is happy with another after he treated me like garbage- and I am alone. How does one recover from this? I guess it's natural to believe that I will be alone forever. I don't want to put that out in the universe but in my heart of hearts, I think it's what I really believe. It took me this long to even meet him, someone I thought I REALLY liked for once.
  13. I felt this for as long as I can remember. Sure, I had friends but they all drifted away. I had a boyfriend but turns out he didn't like me either. He said I was negative and boring. I'm usually the one to invite myself out with so called friends until I wanted to try an experiment to see if they really like me. So I stopped calling to see if they'd call me. They haven't in months. I live my mother and step father but I feel nothing towards them. And they could careless, and no I'm not exaggerating. I feel so empty that sometimes I sit and wonder if it would take me dying for anyone to pay the slightest bit of attention to me or perhaps feign interest in me at my funeral. People are fake like that. I'm 24 without a clue to which career I want to pursue. I have no idea how to make friends because I'm pessimistic and it's imbedded in my head that they won't like me anyway. I know it's because I'm very intoverted. But I don't know how to be anything else. Sometimes I want to move to a new city where nobody knows a thing about me, but I don't know how. I'm sorry, my posts are always about me- stuck in my own head.
  14. Because I don't. I'm the biggest pescimist I know. I absolutely HATE it about myself. I generally dislike almost everyone I meet. I think the world is going downhill. I had a boyfriend who was disgustingly mean to me when we broke up. He trashed me as a person completely and I'm even more destroyed than I was. One of the things he said was I'm too negative and boring and just brought him down. It wasn't fair to say. He made me so insanely happy that I can't even recall wanting to be pescimistic. It hurts to hear that from someone who claimed to love me. Now his new girlfriend is beautiful and she seems so different from me, an optimist full of life. I'm not jealous that's she's with him. I'm jealous that I can't be an optimist. I know I get the pessimism from my mother and that's another thing I hate because I NEVER want to end up like her. I can't go through my life miserable. And over top of that I just feel like I'm not good enough. Never a good enough daughter, friend, or girlfriend. I can't even figure out a career path and I've quit and lost several jobs this past year. I'm currently unemployed and feeling even more down on myself. How much more of this can I take? Sorry that I am rambling. I'm just alone. I see a therapist but she doesn't help much. I've never been optimistic in my entire life and I just want to believe in something. I need hope.
  15. Today I was fired from my job. It was an honest mistake. I had written my schedule wrong and I didn't show up for my shift yesterday. I honestly thought I was off because I had scheduled an appointment with my therapist yesterday as well. When my assistant manager called yesterday I apologized profusely, but also stated I could not come in because I had a doctor's appointment scheduled at 2pm. She clarified that I had an appointment and said it's okay it happens. I went to my scheduled appointment with my therapist yesterday (Also, she was a new therapist I was seeing. I was so elated because I connected with her and absolutely love her!) and I explained the situation to her so she gave me a medical excuse.I had every intention of giving my employer the medical excuse at my next scheduled shift which would have been tomorrow. Well today, the general manager called and fired me! He wouldn't even let me explain! Not to mention last week another employee committed the same mistake and she was only written up. When I asked my GM about that situation he said he could not discuss another employee with me. I thought it was very unfair especially since I have a medical note. I am having terrible anxiety because I have never been fired before in my life. I have no idea where else to work! I sent an email to HR and I also filed for unemployment just to cover all my bases. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am freaking out!!
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