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About jigglehammer

  • Birthday 10/06/1977

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  1. Its funny, I was nominated for class clown, and actually won the most carefree senior superlative in my high school yearbook. Funny how I can hide my depression and anxiety and appear funny and carefree.
  2. I wish all of us that stay home could get together in some sort of convention and together we all could make friends and feel safe and home :).
  3. You pinned the tail on the donkey, It's the exact same for me.
  4. Hello, I always come here when i want to vent or talk about my anxiety or depression that i try to hide on a daily basis. I want to talk about how in certain social situations I shake uncontrollably and stammer with my speech. Around 2 weeks ago I got myself together and started applying to places for a job. I ended up talking to a manager at Bed Bath & Beyond. My voice started trembling, which I honestly expected. After a few Q&A exchanges back and forth my chest and head started shaking, I had to lean forward and pretend I was grooming my hair but i was really trying to hold my head steady. It was definitely an experience that i wouldn't soon forget. Well that moment came and went, today I was meeting someone from Craigslist to whom of which i was selling a Megalodon shark tooth that i found a few years back. I dressed in clothes that would make me feel confident, I listened to music that put me in a good mood all morning. Essentially doing my rituals to try to curb my social anxiety before i go into public. I met the guy, Shook his hand and it started again. Uncontrollable shaking from my feet to my hands all the way up to my neck and head. I feel really comfortable in my skin, right until the eye contact and dialogue exchange begins. As I start talking in situations such as this, I have these thoughts racing through my head such as; Why am i shaking, continuously re-assuring myself "im cool, im cool, people like me, why should i be nervous and uncontrollably shaking and anxious. I can stop doing this any time i want." I stopped shaking for seconds at a time, numerous times, as my self-supportive thoughts raced through my head. I couldn't turn it around, actually I turn things into a vicious cycle. I keep these thoughts racing through my head, and as the social interaction is going on I am almost oblivious as to what to say or how to reply because the majority of my mental capacity is used trying to re-assure my thoughts and stop myself from shaking. I am posting this looking for people who deal with these same sort of situations in life. I am not really looking for somebody to show me a wikipedia link and to quote a generic psychology book. If you reply I would like to hear real stories, I want to hear that I am not the only one with crippling and self consuming anxiety. Thank you all for helping me relieve my cloudy head, I hope that i can talk to someone and share experiences with anxiety via this post. Benjamin
  5. I am the same age as you, but I dropped out of college. I used to be pretty good with the ladies a year or two ago. Now i'm in a funk where i don't leave my house due to depression from dropping out and a social anxiety that developed my freshman year in college. I like Kid Cudi too, And i used to be friends with a lot of kids from my High school who rapped. I guess i can sort of identify with you in a way, at least you still got your education going on man.
  6. Thank-you all for the warm greetings, its nice to be able to vent things that I have never talked to anyone about. I had seen a therapist around 2 years ago but I only went for two sessions. I stopped showing up because everything seemed so recycled and so fresh out of a psychology book. I figured I would manage on my own, I also took anti depressants but that was only for about a week and half because I didn't have high hopes for the stuff. I also was fearful of side effects from taking meds. I Dwell on the mistakes i have made in my life ALOT. Other people often catch me squinching up my face or muttering random swear words under my breath. They ask, "What was that?" or "Whats wrong?". Not realizing that when i am around other people if i am not being shy, i am often zoning out and dwelling on things that increase the hold depression has on me. I just want to turn all this around and get my life in a place where i can begin to progress. I really appreciate all of you replying to this aswell.
  7. I am a 19 year old male, i dropped out of college after 1 year due to anxiety from being around all those cool kids, my girlfriend cheated on me with one of my buddies from high school. i lashed out at everyone i knew, i dont really have any friends and also i have a mild case of scoliosis which was just diagnosed which causes me to havve a phobia of being in public due to paranoia that everyone is staring at my back. my parents and other family members stack pressure on me to find a job or a career, which i already know i need to do but i can't because i am void of energy, and quite intimidated by being in public for 8hrs a day. i have essentially been playing video games in my room since around august. It is now febuary. I dont talk to anybody about being depressed because of a stupid thing called pride. I used to have such high expectations for myself and i used to feel ok in my skin, Now the best time of the day is sleeping, even while having nightmares its still an escape from my life. I cant hold a conversation with someone because the first topic they come up with is "how was your day?" or something along those lines, I typically have to lie and elaborate upon my day because typically the biggest trip i make is like once a week to the gas station to buy some sodas and stuff from the 30 dollars a month my mother sends for me. I feel like i am going to end up a Hobo, and i cant do anything about it.. I just need some support. :verysad3:
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