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Lisa15

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Lisa15 last won the day on March 28 2012

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About Lisa15

  • Birthday 06/15/1966

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    United States
  • Interests
    Animals, books, faith, and books about animals and faith.

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  1. My husband only shows affection to me when he wants sex, which is rare. And it seems he only does this when I'm on my period, so only he gets to enjoy (if you know what I mean). I've tried talking to him about the importance of non-sexual touch in a relationship. It goes in one ear and out the other. I've learned not to nag him about anything, so I don't think that's it. I'm just so tired of being lonely in this relationship. Whenever I try to initiate anything, he's always too tired, or too busy, or too whatever. He's the only man I've ever been with, so maybe I'm just not that desirable. I don't know. I just know that I'm lonely and sad.
  2. There is never any excuse for someone to abuse you. NEVER. Please consider going to a shelter where you can be safe. I know how it feels to be married to someone who starves you of affection. NEVER beg for it. You are worth so much more than that. Please be safe. There are places you can go.
  3. First, welcome to the Forums. Glad you joined us. I agree with the person who suggested taking a depression screening test. This can be done online for free, but it would be better if you did the test through a licensed counselor. That way, even if you're not depressed, you can discuss with him/her your concerns, and that person can give you tools to feel better. I also agree that perhaps you should go easier on yourself. I don't know as much as I probably should know about the Islamic faith, but I assume that it affirms that God (or Allah) loves you and wants the best for you. I am a Christian, and I think our faiths are similar on this point. I wish you all the best. Try to find something that you find fun to do - you deserve it.
  4. Hi Marcus, First off, let me say that I think any woman would (should?) be impressed by your commitment to care for your aging parents. That shows compassion and commitment, two things that I, as a woman, know are important. Also, the fact that you are so attached to your dog would be a plus with many women like myself who also are attached to their pets (mine happens to be a kitty). As for your loneliness and isolation, you say you have terrible hours. May I ask what they are? I wonder if there might be some social outlets you haven't considered yet. Don't know, just trying to help. I was born and raised in a large city, but I've lived lots of places since. Currently I live in a rural area with my husband. There are advantages to living out here, certainly (including somewhat less traffic), but the city also offers advantages. As I said, there might be more opportunities out there to socialize than there would be in a more rural setting. Don't have any better advice to offer you, unfortunately, but I do want you to know that we are here for you and are hoping things turn around for you.
  5. Not really off topic, Epictetus, since it's the basis for the term!
  6. Have any of you ever felt you were being gaslighted? How did you know for sure? What did you do about it?
  7. Welcome! Hope you find this a place of helpful, caring friends.
  8. Surprisingly good right now. Stress is under control, relationships are good.
  9. Hi Visforvampire, I've been a professional writer most of my adult life. Currently I am a pastor, so I have a weekly deadline for a sermon I must write and preach. Yes, there are times, especially when the other demands of my work pile up, when I wonder/worry how I'll ever get a sermon done that is any good. Unfortunately, I'm getting into the habit of "Saturday Night Specials" in which the sermon gets written only about 12-15 hours before it is preached. I hate the pressure that brings me and always try to start sooner, but that isn't always possible. As with Epictetus, I'm not a professional medical person, so I don't know what might be causing your issues, but I'd certainly say stress could have a role in it. And you can't exactly quit your day job, either, so you have to find a way to cope with the stress it gives you. For me, it helps to remember the "good enough" rule. Doesn't have to be Pulitzer-prize winning, just "good enough." I realize that with a quota, that may not be as helpful, though. Please try not to neglect all socializing. You really need that, and it will affect your writing if you don't. Perhaps your social interactions could provide inspiration for articles? Who knows? Hoping for the best for you!
  10. That's what we're all here for - to be friends to each other, to support and encourage each other. I don't know if it's possible to fix our depressions, but I do think we can manage them together. I think it's a positive sign that you WANT to get better. Try to find something each day that gives you even the tiniest bit of pleasure. I also think helping someone else out helps. Hang in there!
  11. I did have a conversation with him last night about it. Went okay. You are right - he doesn't want to see me leave the work we do together. He admitted he's been overly critical of me, and I admitted my own role in our situation. I think (hope) things will be better. The work situation remains the same for me, and that has more to do with the work than with him. For now I will stick things out there to see if it gets any better, or to see if a different opportunity comes along. But at least he understands that the incredible stress of this job is more than I can handle.
  12. Are you seeing a therapist? Are you on depression meds? I know those are obvious, but they can help. They won't make things perfect (not at all), but for some of us, they help. But if you are already doing those things, do you have any friends outside the Forums? Again, you are a person of immense value. Please don't discard that.
  13. Thank you. That's what I thought too. I know we'll have to talk about this, but I'm afraid it will make things worse. He's said hurtful things to me before (we've been married about 3 1/2 years, first marriage for both), but I've always dealt with it. This is the worst.
  14. For me, depression is constantly there, although it ebbs and flows. I am so very sorry you're in such terrible pain. You deserve better. Does anything at all make it even a little better, or at least more tolerable, for you? Please hang in there, friend. We're all pulling for you. The world needs you, even though right now you can't see that for yourself.
  15. My husband, with whom I work, said when I told him I was considering looking for a new line of work, "Well, you have to understand that my work is my life, and my life is my work. So if you do that, I'll still love you and we'll still be married, but things will be very, very different." In other words, I'm not his top priority in life, and if I do choose to pursue different work, he wanted me to know that he will remain a workaholic and that my time with him will be briefer. And that that would be my own fault. I don't know what to do with this.
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