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  1. Aww just had a look and its not in my area. Does anyone know of a online emotions 12 step program?
  2. I've never heard of it either, but will be now looking it up!
  3. Im only on a small dose but it does the same for me. Unfortunately the other meds make me feel a bit ill in the mornings so I cant fill up the empty tummy and just have to deal with it. I find yogurt to be the best thing for me personally, puts something in my stomach so it doesnt feel empty but not heavy enough to make me sick and helps with the acid reflux.
  4. I have been looking for information too but it is all very bias, either all for or completely against. I cant seem to find anything trustworthy on if it is ok or not. Personally I know a lot of people who do it without interactions but I can only talk for my social group, not for the world.
  5. Goodluck! I hope all goes well. I think working part time (with an extremely understanding boss) has been a godsend for me. It gives me a reason to get up every day and helps me with setting and achieving goals.Once you have been in this job and realise you can handle it, then you can move onto something else. Use it as a stepping stone :) Well done for getting back out there, it is really hard going back into the workforce.
  6. I had been getting more and more anxious with an increased work load, my partner just kept feeding me bongs until I wasnt worried about it anymore. And then the coughing started. I thought I really needed to cut down so I did. I have not been depressed at all, but the anxiety is hard to deal with. My pdocs said to use more PRN medication (lorazepam and seroquel) but I am using such large doses (to me) to get anywhere near the affect one cone had on me (ie calmed my brain enough to stop me crying). I sleep like a log on the seroquel and worry if I needed to wake for something if I actually would. I also get hangovers from the seroquel and find it hard to get going (and forget what I did the morning I am affected). My only side affect from smoking was coughing. I get the munchies from both seroquel and illegal drug, but not nearly as bad on illegal drug because I crave more than straight sugar. I pose a question to you - what is worse? Large doses of over the counter pharmaceuticals or a puff of smoke on the weekends or after work? I keep looking for non bias literature but cannot find any! They are either all for or all against, I cant find the straight non bias FACTS anywhere.
  7. When you're so low you stop eating and cleaning, but then take seroquel on doctors advice and get the munchies so bad that you drive to maccas (McDonalds fast food resturant) in the pooring rain and order everything on the menu.
  8. Do you have any links to articles about it being beneficial? I would like to read them. When I look online all I see are articles supporting it and I feel I cant get a balanced opinion on the information I am given.
  9. So I had a good go at the loving my brain but it hasnt really made a difference for me personally. I hope someone else reading the thread will get something out of it. 6 months into the new job I have hit a slight low. Not sad as such but teary, absolutely zero motivation, not eating, suicidal idealization (I am far from suicidal though, these are just fantasys). I feel heavy and guilty all the time for not doing more. I missed a week of work last week and have yet to explain myself to the boss. Im thinking I will tell her the truth if I can speak with her privately, but if we are all out on the floor I am not going to say a word, I dont want anyone overhearing. I've turned to my support crew but again since I have been well for so long they dont take me seriously when I say I need some help. My boyfriend and best friend have been good but not enough to help me get through the days comfortably. Im missing out on great opportunities with the depression hitting last week. So I have the guilts big time too. I dont want to go back to work, I get panicy even thinking about it. I have 3 hours until I start and Im already panicing. I just cant seem to cope with stress, it has been more stressful at work and its just forced me down. How can I deal with it?
  10. I've just started smoking more often for the exact reasons - I feel better, I feel more normal and more me when I smoke. I look back on myself sober and cant believe what a dumbarse I am, I laugh at how stupid my brain is. It slows my thoughts, there is only one thing going through my head at a time and more often than not it is about food. It is a great way for me to have a break from the constant rushing thoughts and negative thoughts. The problem arises when you run out and cant get any for any reason. Then you will feel absolutely and it may not have been worth the high to feel that bad.I also find that I am more tired in my body and my lungs arnt too happy with me either. I suppose it is one of those things that you weigh up the pros and cons for and see if it is going to be helpful or just another reason to get trashed. Goodluck with what you decide.
  11. Im struggling with this issue at the moment. I missed a few days of work due to depression and my boss is going to want to know why tomorrow. Im at the "Do I/dont I" tell her stage. I have scars on my arms but no one really gets that close to me so I doubt she has noticed. I dont want my co-workers to know as they do not seem the type to "get" mental illness, I'd expect they would just think I was weak not being able to work some days because I was that depressed. I think my boss will be understanding if I can talk to her in the right situation, it is always go go go at work and doubt she will give me proper time to explain myself without distractions. Not sure if I will tell her or not yet, I suppose it depends if she wants to talk to me privately about the sick days. On the other hand, at my other job - everyone knows and they are all wonderful and supportive and dont mind when I cant come in. They'll even offer to do extra for me on days I am struggling. I can cry there with no fear of being humiliated. It is a wonderful environment.
  12. I had problems with sleeping for years, I went to all the groups and had all the therapy for it and I was on every sleeping pill, benzo and antipsychotic there was to help me sleep. In the end none of them would work anymore, whether I be depressed or manic nothing to get me to sleep at night. My pdoc, at the end of his tether asked - have you tried Melatonin? I had never heard of it used as a sleeping drug, its not readily available in my country and you have to have a script for it. I figured there was no harm in trying. I went on a 3 week course of it and by the end of the first week I was falling asleep "naturally". There is a lot of information out there about bi polar and keeping in a good sleep cycle. Melatonin fixed mine and I have been better than ever since. Being able to sleep at night has changed my life. Everything is so much easier when you can sleep! Of course there are the off nights/weeks that I might have some trouble but it all evens out for me again eventually as long as I stay in my routine - Up and awake by 8am at the latest and bed around midnight. It still takes me hours to fall asleep but I know I will eventually so it doesnt bother me, I still manage to get between 5 and 8 hours a night which is perfect for me. When I get too much sleep (over 9 hours) I get even more lethargic. My advice to you - stay in a routine. Get up and get daylight into you first thing in the morning (I am lucky enough to live on a hobby farm so I need to get up and let the animals out every morning, I get at least 10 minutes of daylight and it really helps me wake up.). Be active during the day. Get into a good routine before bed and keep at it. Smoking substances might be all well and good on a weekend but on a weekday when you have to get up for work/school the next day its not so great. And it doesnt really help you sleep unless you are smoking to the point of passing out. Now that I have been off all those strong medications for over 2 years I can take a minor tranquiliser (seroquel) or benzos and have it work enough to get me to sleep if I am distressed and feel I need it. I try to avoid that, but I know it is an option which is comforting. I know you have written that you are on melatonin already, have you tried a variety of strengths? What worked for me may not work for you but I thought perhaps you could find hope in my story that you wont always need these drugs to sleep. Goodluck finding something that works long term.
  13. Oh so many manic regrets... Putting myself in dangerous stupid situations, taking drugs, promiscuity, drink driving and booking expensive holidays are my regrets. So glad I havent had an episode since being on these meds! I used to drink a lot if I was too high or too low which lead to a lot of silly decisions.
  14. Unfortunately many of the psyc medications have side effects like you described. I really liked Lamotrigine, I had less of the side effects with that than I have with other meds. Everyone is different and every ones tolerance for side effects is different. Weight gain is a sife effect of heaps of them, but I would rather be fat and sane than skinny and crazy. Perhaps you can weigh up the pros and cons of good effects versus bad and see if it is beneficial for you. I hope they settle for you.
  15. Thankyou for your reply, I will certainly try this technique. I very often say that I hate my brain and want to trade it for a new one. Perhaps it does need some love.
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