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leebux

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  1. Hi Amber, I'm so sorry for what you have been through. I think it is good that you have opened up here. Feeling the hurt is the first step to letting go. Therapy will help you deal with this . You are strong, brave and bright. We are your friends and perhaps you might find that here are some nice people in the world. Don't let your past dictate your future. You deserve to be happy. Good luck on your journey. Leebux
  2. In Australia, it depends on your age. If you're an adult, your GP can do a test adn offer medication if felt appropriate. A lot of Drs refer to s Psychologist or Psychiatrist and then medicate. Depends on the Dr and their experience and knowledge of depression. A psycholigist and psychiatrist diagnosed and medicated my daughter. My Dr diagnosed and medicated me. Just depends. Good luck with your choices. Leebux
  3. Hi Michelleb, I totally understand at least some of what you are going through. At 15 1/2, our daughter was diagnosed with psychotic depression and anxiety. SHe differed in that she recognised the symptons ( after 3 yrs ) and asked for help. We didn't even know there was a problem because she hid it so well. My heart breaks for what you and your husband have been through. I didn't have to be hospitalised, but have been diagnosed and medicated with major depression, due to the stress and anxiety of trying to deal with and help her. I think you need to go away as planned. I was told for a long time, and finally believe it, that if you are not looking after yourself, you can't look after her. I too have cried a river for what I can't do for her. If she wants to come with the boyfriend, let them. HArd as it is, try to act normally. My daughter has since told me that it bothered her to see me upset. SHe felt that it was her problem, so why would it impact on me. SHe felt that I was competing for attention. (bizarre , I know) I sometimes wonder, if some of it is the girls just don't want to take their mother's advice. My daughter felt I was trying to control her. She didn't see it as caring. She is trying to grow up and be independent and deal with a horrifying illness. They are thinking though a disease. I'm sure your daughter doesn't hate you. I thought my daughter did for ages, and then apparently that is how she coped.She doesn't know what to do or what to think. I don't know what you can do at 19. Be there if she needs you, and if you have fears for her personal safety, contact the professionals. I'm in Australia, so am not sure what your country medical system is. Perhaps she is being rebellious and this is how she is showing it..I have come to realise that as my daughter yells at me, screams at me and says some very hurtful things, she does this, because she is transferring her anger, pain, etc and also deep, deep down she knows that I will always be there for her. Your daughter may feel ( unconsciously) that by distancing herself from you and your husband she can ignore the problem. I haven't really given you any actual advice, but try and look after yourself. Sometimes you have to wait for her to make the decision to take her meds. Does her college have counselling available? That might be less threatening for her. Perhaps she might need to try a different medication. A review may be in order. I suppose the best thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open...and that doesn't mean giving in t her every whim. She is also playing the guilt card when asking for things. SHe is stil a child trying to wrok out how to be an adult. Please be aware I give this advice, knowing that nothing will make you feel better. I know. My thoughts are with you and if writing here gives you a coping mechanism, then do it. Everyone here is really nice, and has a different point of view. Someone may be able to give you something new to try. I'm glad you found us. Message me if you need to talk privately. I love my daughter, but she has really tested me, my husband, our marriage...etc. Perhaps counselling for you may help. I have found it helpful at times of breaking, to ring help lines and talk / cry into the phone. I should have shares in tissues. Please don't think I'm being flippant. I so get where you are. The feeling of helplessness , guilt, fear, anxiety are overwhelming. I wish you the best with your journey Keep in touch Lesley xxx
  4. Dear Jamiew, Well done on taking action early. Your daughter is too young to make these decisions for herself. She wouldn't be a child if she didn't resist therapy. That is normal. I'm glad you found a therapist that your daughter can relate to. All you can do is to encourage her to keep in contact with her friends. As a parent of a depressed teen and a teacher, have you mentioned this to the school? There is nothing to be embarrassed about, and they might be able to keep a careful, yet distant eye on her. Just a thought. Best wishes to you both. Keep us posted on your progress - both forwards and backwards. It helps to talk to others. It saved my sanity. Leebux
  5. Dear Insanityx, Welcome :) My experience with psychotic depression is through my daughter. She anxious, a stressor and a high achieving perfectionist. Don't know about you. SHe only asked for help, after experiencing hallucinations for 3 -4 yrs. She saw shapes out of the side of her vision, moving on to hands and shapes coming to get her. They appeared at any time and anywhere. Generally she felt safe in her room. She always knew they weren't real, and scared her because she didn't know what was happening. After a PE lesson on mental health, she thought she may be bi-polar or schizophrenic. When she eventually was diagnosed with psychotic depression, she was relieved to know that she wasn't insane. CBT therapy with her psychologist helped usually. SHe started on Lovan (prozac) and it worked for her. I'm not sure if this helps, but thoughts are with you. Your parents may not have realised the depth of your problems. We had no idea, until our daughter told us. She kept it well hidden. Well done for seeking tratment. Leebux
  6. Cute :) 1.He listens to me when I need to vent and never criticises. 2. He loves me for who I am - physically and mentally . 3. He helped me produce my beautiful daughter. 4. He is my best friend. 5. I know he will always be there for me, and I for him.
  7. Hi ghost 4, Welcome. There are plenty of people here in a similar situation. We all either suffer from, or have partners, friends or children with depresision or other mental health issues. I think it's great that you have joined to learn more. Education is understanding. Have a browse and hope to hear more from you and maybe your girlfriend Leebux
  8. Wish I could say something more positive than hang in there. Each day is a new one. It will be very small steps and it may take a long time. You need to try and look after yourself. Hugs and thoughts are with you Leebux xxx
  9. Hang in there. Everything takes time. Why don't you start your journalling, as that sounded like somthing that you would enjoy. Even a walk around a park would help. Hugs to you Leebux
  10. Hi Eeby, I'm on Pristiq and can give you my experiences. I was prescribed it for Major depression. I had no qualms about trying anti-depressants as my daughter had been on Lovan (prozac) . If it hadn't worked, then I wouldn't have lost anything as far as I can see. I also saw a psychologist, but in the meantime had a few realisations that sorted my head out in combination with the meds. I had some mild side effects with the Pristiq to start with. I was actually very tired and quite nauseous. I seemed to be continually yawning. I felt a lot better quite quickly. My husband said it was nice to see "the old me". I didn't seem to break into teats all the time over nothing. Give it a go after you talk to your Dr, If it is not the right meds for you, then you can change. If it does work, you will feel a lot better nad therapy will also help. Do you have any hobbies that you do to help you relas. I line dance and scrapbook. I don't do either very well, but the people are lovely and I have made some great friends. Give yourself time to heal. Good on you for getting help. Keep us posted Leebux
  11. You HAVE NOT failed her. Her life is the most important thing at the moment, and if she is incapable of looking after it, you have to. She may not like you at the minute. That doesn't mean she doesn't love you. You have done what you think is right. That is all a parent can do. Unconditional love doens't always mean we can make our kids happy. When they can't, it is our job to keep them safe. Isn't it better to be an annoying mum ( and we've all been there) with a living daughter, than the alternative. You would never forgive yourself if you didn't do something and her condition worsened. Keep us updated on her progress. You are doing a great job and are a fabulous, caring mum. You have made a really hard decision and that takes tremendous courage. Hugs to you all Leebux xxxx
  12. Dear Narwhal, You are having a tough time at the minute. I am not in America, so have no idea what your rights are with regards to your depression. That will be something others may be able to comment on. I am, however , the parent of a teen with depression. Our daughter is the opposite of you, in the fact that she chooses not to talk to us. Your parents ar probably from a generation where "depression" didn't exist. People were told to get over things. The other side if the coin is your parents might be feeling confused and / or guilty. I know, that even though I have no control over my daughter's depression, and didn't cause it, I still feel incredibly guilty because I can't fix things. They may not even realise it. I think the best thing you can do is to vent here and to other people. Let them go and if they ask, then answer. I don't feel tht I've been any help, but we will always listen here. Good luck Leebux
  13. She may need to talk to her therapist about changing her meds. If you are in ant doubt as to her safety, call someone. SHe may not like it now, but she may not be thinking logically. Ican only offer support. I have no real ideas. Have you told her that you realise she needs her space, but are very worried about her illness? When talking to her, try to de-personalise it, so she doesnt feel that it is her you are asking about. Ask how her illness is going? Talk about changing meds. Is her boyfriend someone you can talk to. He may have some insights, or be able to calm your fears. Thoughts are with you at this time. Try and look after yourseld and your husbanfd, who will be suffering with you. Perhaps if she doesn't want help at the minute, you could join a support group ( as well as here) that may give you some support as well. Best wishes and hugs to you. The most important thing is ring one of the numbers Trace put there if you are truly concerned for her life. We have all been in the hopeless place and it's horrible. Keep posting here as it's healthy for you Lots lf love to you Leebux
  14. Mother to mother...you must be beside yourself. If you are in any doubt about her safety, ring the hospital and get her into an emergency dept. Ring a Lifeline. I can't really give any other advice, than to watch her, and be there for her. My daughter also doesn't speak and bottles things up. Is your daughter on meds, or seeing a therapist? These vould help. Hugs to you both Message me if you need. Leebux
  15. Hi , and welcome to the forum. You will find a lot of helpful and kind people here. People don't understand that you just can't feel better immediatley. We do. Keep posting and we will respond from whatever time zone we are in. Take care Leebux
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