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Nightjar

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Everything posted by Nightjar

  1. Nite DF family, Special message to @MarkintheDark wherever you are. Sending you love and gratitude. If you are still visiting mark, please get in touch. love NJ
  2. I often find myself feeling profoundly guilty. One day I asked myself why? What the hell have I done? - The answer was nothing. I've barely done anything bad to anyone. And the only reason I feel/felt guilty is because NM projected/projects all of her misery onto me and makes me the bad guy because she was/is in pain. I've been absorbing that s*it for a long time I felt so happy this afternoon knowing that I've blocked her and that I could enjoy my day in peace
  3. Had a crappy night's sleep. Don't feel too bad but just want to be alone, as usual. Yesterday was great, I had the entire day to myself. I'm gonna head out in an hour or so so I can at least get some space for the afternoon Wishing everyone a good enough day
  4. Naw, not at all. It's all I have been able to think about since I started this whole process. I've been stressed to the moon and back. But I know that the more I push and push with no results, the worse I feel
  5. Struggling through the day a bit - feeling tired..Gonna force myself to do some yoga though coz it really helps my stress levels. I've managed to get some washing done, do a bit of cleaning and take a bath. It wasn't an unproductive day, I'm just crawling through it a bit with my tiredness and painful foot
  6. Well, my countdown timer has gone out the window Lawyers have gone AWOL for a few weeks and I have no idea. I emailed and called a few times, no reply..Then I complained...no reply. Then I apologised for complaining...no reply. Now, I'm just waiting and trying to distract myself as much as possible. I don't wanna get all wound up about it
  7. I'm hiding in 'my' room tonight. Sis is obviously not happy unless I am entertaining her in some way, similar to NM. They want constant attention and don't care how they get it.. I am desperate for time and space to myself where I am not having demands made of me. At the beach today was heaven..no people, quiet and still. Amazing. Then I look at my phone, more requests and calls from sis. They just won't leave me alone for longer than an hour or so
  8. I know! The weather has just about turned here. Today was the first day I wore a coat. It's very rainy, windy and a lot colder. I love the fact that I can go to the beach by myself now - I only saw one other person walking. Well, they were walking, I was hobbling obvs
  9. Slightly better today. Still irritated by sis. Anything she says. I just need a space which is inviolate. Where people can't wander in and out and say whatever. She's very bad at respecting boundaries. Still, I have a bed in a separate room finally. It got delivered yesterday. It makes it easier for me to get a bit more space to myself. Gotta go to NM's now to pick up my coat, brolly and jumpers. It's getting cold. Hope she's not there. I will have to avoid
  10. Yeah, cuz you're speaking from the heart and being authentic, you expect the same in return. Same here. But people are twisted these days
  11. It must have been very stressful till this point. Glad all is ok, the relief must be huge
  12. Today was going well....I went to the agents, got things moving with them, met some nice people in a cafe and had a chat.....Then met a not so nice person who kinda sorta talked to me when I asked about his crutches but at the same time didn't really want to..... Next, I bumped into the agent in town who then, guess what.....ignored me The very same one who had been so nice to me in the office.....Now, blanked. WTF. I think I'm gonna have to start paying people to be nice to me. Or at least pretend Still, it's good to be out today amongst the nice and not so nice I guess. Dear god, just send me a friend Something consistent.
  13. I used my foot again today. It was very achy in different places. Anyone know if that's normal after inaction? My ankle aches more than anything, I think. I sprained that along with my fracture on the side of my foot
  14. Thanks aloneguy. Movie was good, it cheered me up a bit. It was the new David Bowie film Escapism can be great at the cinema, can't it
  15. Hey @evalynnThinking of you. Hope all is ok.
  16. Very down today. Tired, exhausted, pretty miserable. Like life is drudgery So sick of being ignored, left, right and centre. Sick of worrying about money, having no space, being around draining, insensitive and uncaring people. I didn't wanna do anything today but I'm at the cinema with sis, being ignored. Ah well, hopefully the film will be good.
  17. Effing knackered and crazily irritable. I'm not calling any lawyers or agents today. I'll get on it tomorrow I guess. Or maybe the next day I wonder if my 'urgent' phone call request will do the trick..Hmm, not convinced. I've taken off my boot today to try and manage without it. I'm not 100% healed, I'm sure but I'm worried about overdoing using the boot and letting all my muscles deteriorate further. Gonna use my stick and keep walking to a minimum. Don't know if I'm doing the right thing and I'm worried but I'm not seeing the doctor for another three weeks
  18. Hey @evalynnThinking of you. Sending luck, love and hugs
  19. Me too. Have you heard from evalynn lately?
  20. I'm the same. I can't always help others when I'm struggling hard. I'm just happy to see you posting coz to me you're an important member of my DF family You always have a chair here waiting for you. Hugs.
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