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Nightjar last won the day on October 27

Nightjar had the most liked content!


About Nightjar

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    Meditation, yoga, all things natural, walking, photography and film.

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  1. Feeling OK, just feel the need for a rest today after family dramas and busyness these past few days. It's always hard to justify having a 'nothing' day. There's always stuff that needs doing and my brain is nagging me a bit. I'm listening to my energy today however and having a rest. Just hope it doesn't leave me feeling like crap later on which can sometimes happen if I stay home.
  2. Probably 4 and a half today. It was cold, but fresh and good to get out. I'm not sure it will counterbalance all of the chocolate I've eaten today but I'm keeping my fingers crossed 🙏 😂
  3. I genuinely don't think that's going to happen again for either if us. It's just fear of it that hangs over us and the twisted people who use it against us and encourage that fear We have years of recovery under our belts....OK we're not happy, but we're not critically ill either. Also, I think at this point in our lives it would be up to us to volunteer to do that. I genuinely don't think that family would have that kind of power over us now.
  4. I'm guesstimating my walk is about 4 and a half miles if I walk at the average speed of 3.1 mph 👟 I think 5 miles per day is meant to be optimum for health 🏆
  5. Nice tunes on the radio The doggy greetings in the park The sunshine today
  6. I'm looking forward to being in bed and dozing off to sleep 😴
  7. I would like to be in bed reading my book so that's what I'm gonna do as soon as I can put down my phone!
  8. I did 3 laps around the park. I don't have an app for the mileage but it took one hour and 18 minutes precisely 😆
  9. I've done this so many times. TBH, I don't care so much any more. They can't lock me up for not doing the dishes! The wards are far too full for a start!! Besides, I enjoyed my stay in the crazy house. It was hilarious!
  10. Yup. They are like children..and we, the ones damaged by their childishness and cruelty are labelled as 'damaged goods'.
  11. Ooh, things is rough again. I'm struggling a bit with my SAD which comes around this time of year and makes me feel vulnerable. I'm less able to shrug off the blatant disrespect and insults coming my way from narc mom. Yesterday she was up to her old trick of telling everyone I'm mentally ill because I'm not responding to her 7 texts and multiple phone calls I receive every day. Yes, I do get depressed etc but I don't share that with her or other family members. It's completely twisted to start telling everyone I'm mentally ill just because I'm not speaking to her. I'm not suddenly having a crisis and not coping which is the message she puts across to anyone who will listen. I am coping. I'm just not speaking to her. Sometimes I don't want to speak to the others either. Then god help me, she'll send a freaking doctor round...or at least threaten to. All because she is aware of issues I've had in the past and will use them against me. Forever it seems. I'm not responding to her texts and calls because I feel harassed and we are not best friends. The other day in town with her I had new clothes on and had made an effort to look smart and so all day long she kept referring to my clothes and asking "Are they from a charity shop?" And giving me things to 'help' my skin which looked fine by the way. It felt awful because I was really trying to improve myself and feel better around people. NM nixed it. I'm outta here next year. I'm moving away and that's it. I'm gonna get a job and save to help me go. Ha! I played a little trick of my own on her yesterday. I didn't look at her or react directly to her claims that I am not right in the head when she said that in front of my sister because NM would just feed on that and use it as evidence that I am mad. In the middle of a completely different conversation I just stated very clearly "Twisted mother****er" to the air. She said "Who?" "Who are you talking about?" "Oh nothing, " I said, "That just popped out" "Just words." 😆 Funny I didn't get a good night text last night 😉
  12. I think it's time for me to go cold turkey again. Can I come to you for Xmas! ? 😂
  13. Not good. Spent time with 'family'. Not good at all.
  14. I'm a bit of a strange one @MarkintheDark and last night during my pre-bed meditation I tried to connect with you energetically to send you love and peace. I did my best to send you soothing thoughts. I realise I could be imagining this (I admit I have no evidence that this works) but I felt I connected to your energy (or what i imagined it was). I got the sensation of immense overwhelm and of the mind swinging rapidly between two opposing plans of action. The result was a jumble of confusion. There was a very big and heavy feeling of 'impenetrable stuckness'. It felt so big that even chinks of light and relief couldn't get in, no matter how I tried to push them in there. Am I close to getting it? I'm not surprised you feel dizzy or that you've lost weight if this is the case. I'm sorry to hear that the stress is exacerbating your health problems. I hope, at least that your sleeping is OK. I also hope you do manage to get out for some photography today and/or tomorrow, it seems like your only relief at this point. I don't know if you appreciate my contributions at the moment because I noted that my last two posts weren't liked (!) Regardless I am still concerned about you and wishing you well. I'll stop posting if this one isn't liked either. I don't want to be a bother. I'm a bit out there for some people and that's OK. Hope your day goes well today 🌞 Nightjar
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