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ukw1980

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  1. Does anyone have OCD about their hair? I'm going through a very traumatic OCD episode where I'm fixated on my hair; I'm extremely scared when I see hair strands that fall out or are torn out by accident. I've always been extremely scared of hair loss and if I see something that looks suspiciously like a spot where no hair grows, or if a lot of hair comes out, I panic and spend hours looking in the mirror. This hair-related panic is much more intense than any other OCD anxiety I've experienced in my life.
  2. Thanks for the response. I suspected that some other people had this feeling too, of always looking "different" every time in every photo. But the thing is, the fear I have, is that I look drastically different to the extent that it's almost a different person from the left side vs. the right side. This got me thinking whether one side didn't develop properly or something. I mean, when I look at the right side, I perceive a mature and calm person, and from the left side, a much younger and carefree person. Sounds crazy, maybe I'm imagining it because I can't really see myself from the outside, but it's very weird and really distressing. Has anyone tried looking at their left vs. right faces in profile view and comparing the emotions/perceptions one sees, whether they're the same? Anyway, I've really been tying myself up "in knots" over this.
  3. Has anyone here had any obsessions about their face? The OCD episode I'm going through right now has to do with anxiety about my face. It started when I was looking at various pictures of myself and they all looked completely different to me, i.e. my face looks very different in each photo, and I don't have a "unifying" idea of what I look like, if that makes sense. I started worrying if there's something unusual about my face; I reminded myself that if that was the case, then people wouldn't recognize me, but they do, so I must look a certain way. I can recognize myself in pictures, and I have an idea of what I look like, but for some reason, all the photos look completely different, rather than the same, and this has preoccupied me the past few days. Of course, I have a clear idea of what other people look like, but I can't see myself other than in the photos. Another issue I'm worrying about, no matter how silly it sounds, is that the left and the right sides of my faces don't "match" i.e. I look slightly different from the left side than from the right side. I looked in the mirror, and the perception of myself that I have from the "left" side is different than the one on the "right" side. I was wondering if that was contributing to my different impressions of myself in pictures. Very silly stuff and it's not even comfortable for me to write about it, but the distress this is causing me is unbelievable. I am resisting medications at the moment for various reasons. I was on Luvox for a few years long ago, but the doctor told me that now I'd need to get regular blood tests for it because Luvox is now known to have some risks. But even apart from that I don't want the weight gain and constipation that I've experienced on SSRIs.
  4. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  5. I realize this thread is over a year old and maybe some of the people who responded no longer come here. But I've decided it to bring it back to life because, you've guessed it, this particular fear is back with a vengeance, and is seriously wrecking my life at the moment. What do I mean by "fear of change"? Well, here are some concrete examples (other people's may be different) that are currently making me freeze with horror whenever they come into my head: - End of youth and the possibility that the lifestyles/interests/etc. I've pursued so far will change or will no longer be possible for me (I'm 27) - Seeing gray hair in the mirror or realizing that increasingly more people I come into contact with are younger than me - The possibility that my personality might change (e.g., I am liberal and the fear that I may become conservative) - The possibility that carefree life might be over for me and I might have to start considering some hefty adult issues - The fear that my values and interests might change with time Again: these may sound like "general" or philosophical concerns that all people experience at some point; but I assure you that the trauma and obsessions I'm going through can't even be compared in intensity to what most people probably experience. The fear is not vague, it's extremely specific. These aren't irrational fears, they are very rational and probably true, and this magnifies my panic to unspeakable levels. I remember a few years ago talking to a friend who was older than me, and he was 27 at the time and told me he was uncomfortable with the fact that he was now in his late 20s and that "he wasn't even 24, 25 anymore!". So, the fear of change or aging is probably common. But the "spike" that accompanies it in an OCD sufferer just creates a wall of fear that won't go away, it doesn't respond to any logical arguments or attempts to allay it. There are so many issues connected to the notion of "change" (lifestyle, values, interests) that there's no end to the obsessions. I can't stress enough the fact that these aren't just "common-sense" or vague concerns of mine, these are genuine OCD spikes. Responses such as "it's better to be mature than to be a kid, anyway" or "embrace positive change" not only don't reduce the anxiety but they actually aggravate it. I hope I've clarified my situation and answered some previous questions, so you can provide some more comments. I may have to start taking antidepressants again (been off them for a few years)...
  6. Hi, I used to post here some time ago. I've always had OCD, but I bring it under control from time to time. I have a question which may or may not be related to OCD. Any comments or experience would be appreciated: In my relationships with women, I tend to push them away shortly after meeting them, to their shock and dismay. I enjoy meeting women and "wooing" them, but as soon as we start dating, and they start feeling affection toward me and scheduling our dates, this makes me very uncomfortable and anxious, to the point that not only do I not enjoy it anymore, I actually feel great relief when they can't make the date for some reason. It's like torture, a clinical experience for me to try to act a certain way or say certain things when we're together, and keep them happy. I do everything possible to end our time together early and get back to my "safe zone" -- where I'm alone, and am free to spend my time as I see fit. Any kind of a commitment on my time really unnerves me; some of these girls even tell me that they don't need any commitment, they're fine with me being casual, and yet still when they look into my eyes or kiss me I feel some kind of a "responsibility" and detachment from pleasure.
  7. Thanks for the reply. I've noticed that most of my obsessions have to do with the future. Of course they vary but the main subject revolves around the question, What will my life be like in the next 20-30 years? Even when I was a child or a teenager, I kept worrying about "Will this or that happen?" I am 27 right now and I still worry a lot. I would assume that once you're over 50, for example, with a lot of life behind you, these questions are no longer as scary. The years have passed and you have seen that all your fears were groundless. In addition, 50 years of dealing with OCD must have taught the person good enough coping skills, so that OCD is no longer as debilitating as it once was. But again, this is just my guess, I haven't talked about this with any older people with OCD.
  8. Does anyone have any information regarding the long-term outlook for people with OCD? What I mean is, of course there are anti-depressants that can bring a certain episode under control, but they can't be used indefinitely, and also often have side effects. Even if you've settled on an SSRI that works for you, the time will come when it will probably be discontinued, for various reasons. Is there anything that can make OCD better without medications? For instance, as you get older, can OCD become less severe? As you get a family or children, and focus more on the needs of other people, can you finally clear your head of the anxiety about yourself? Are there some profound philosophical insights or self-discoveries that can forever shake your personality and make you become more relaxed, and let go of the anxiety? It would be interesting to talk to old people who were born with OCD, and are now 80-90 years old. Did they experience a lessening of obsessive thinking as they aged? Are they still as anxious as ever? If not, what was it that transformed them?
  9. Hi, One of the ways in which OCD manifests itself in my case is that I'm scared of change. Any change in life, even good ones that you're "supposed" to be happy about, brings about tremendous anxiety and fear that I will somehow "be different" from who I am today. This may sound general and "common" but I assure you the anxiety is very real, and very specific - and I've had this particular OCD "spike" intermittently since childhood. I know for sure it's OCD and I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this particular fear - anxiety about any life change or event. I am taking a negligible dosage of Luvox right now (25 mg) which, according to my doctor, "is nothing". At my insistence we made it this small because I don't want any side effects (weight gain + anorgasmia). It's better than nothing, I guess, but apparently this ultra-small dosage isn't keeping my OCD in check very well.
  10. There are two separate issues that can be discussed - erection problems or orgasm problems (anorgasmia). From everything I've read so far, it seems that it's the latter (inability to orgasm) that is the most common problem. But, erections should be unaffected - correct me if I'm wrong. From personal experience with another SSRI (Luvox) this is something that responded to lowering the dosage. When I was taking an extremely small dosage, well below the standard ones, I was able to climax. On the other hand, the small dosage was also enough to keep the therapeutic effect. I guess the trick is to find this "break-even" point.
  11. Guys, thanks for your responses but they are very general. Simply put, have you, as a man with OCD, experienced recurrent erection problems due to anxiety? I am not talking about the side-effects of meds. (And by the way, these side effects may include delayed orgasm, but they are not related to erections at all.) Many things are possible, in fact too many to list, the question is does OCD specifically involve this problem in a well-known and documented way? And from my current research, I cannot establish this precise link, unless other OCDers report the same symptoms.
  12. Are there any males on this board with OCD? Have you had any issues with sexual functioning? I have OCD and also I've had recurrent sexual problems (e.g. erection issues), but I'm not sure if there's a link between the two. I've been trying to find any information on the Web, to no avail. Most sites discuss this in the context of "anxiety" but there's little understanding of what this anxiety is. Do you think OCD could play a role (subconsciously), and what are your experiences?
  13. I just did a quick search and here's the first article I found - Pm me for the website. P.S. The clearest way in which there is a risk is the weight gain - when I was taking Luvox, I gained 10-20 pounds - but there may be other risk factors too.
  14. According to an article I've read recently, research shows that SSRIs lead to an increased risk of diabetes. I don't have the link right now, but it should be easy to google. Have you seen these reports, and what do you make of them? My mother and both of my grandmothers are diabetic, so I am very concerned.
  15. Grapefruit is actually pretty dangerous even aside from its interactions with SSRIs. It's been known to cause severe kidney stones.
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