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iconundrum

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About iconundrum

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  1. I made a new post for New Years 2019 but lost it 😕. It talked about my gains ( paleo diet, work enjoyment, zero shopping/browsing except food, hygge nook, feeling close with sisters, enjoying cats, reading books more, added dancing to ukulele at Norfolk, cannabis oil, Kondo Mari method, political engagement, Netflix, cut cable, Apple Music, bullet journaling didn’t last but it was a good exercise, especially the daily chore list - it’s given me a base to get back to when I get off track (which I do) it gives me that feeling of moving forward albeit slowly when I’m at a low point. Routine, routine is my new mantra. My diet is routine too. Morning meds, coffee then juice then eggs, need to find a good afternoon snack besides cheese and endurance crackers, easy suppers that last 3meals. Lots of meal prep. this routine business is good in many ways but I’m cutting myself off from social activities which also has its drawbacks. I seem to be looking for the perfect schedule 😐 plots of good stuff but feeling anxiety about management at work, especially missing pay. Need to resolve, hate confrontation and am wondering why they are making this difficult for me. On purpose? This sort of thing brings me down from my feelings of well being. Makes me think the doctor that said I have problems with stress(wish I could find that piece of paper she gave me- can’t remember the term she used) anyhow, I am procrastinating on resolving. Feeling the stress in my stomach. And then mad at myself for being so weak 👿 up and down, up and down. This is when I feel as if I don’t have a chemical imbalance, it’s more about my inability to navigate normal stress. also worrying about money again and feel like I need to get second job. Just typing that makes me anxious 😟 Was feeling great about lifestyle until I wasn’t. It all comes crashing down sooner or later. I feel I have it together finally ( this is it - true happiness and then bam) low energy, lots of time indoors, partly because of cloudy weather. Enjoying hygge but also feel guilty. Good day,bad day ...more like good minute, bad minute ...
  2. iconundrum

    Just ok

    Was ecstatically happy the last couple of years. Great summer but now it’s december and the weather has been terrible. I’m having some troubles concentrating, twinges of anxiety, indecision and withdrawal. I don’t feel like writing but I wanted to record my mood since I haven’t felt poorly for so long. I’ve eaten grains the last couple of weeks so crazy as it seems I’m wondering if there could be a connection. Not all bad though, many moments of elation mixed in. Hmmm Lots of couch time. Btw, I had problems getting back into my account so there are entries for the last two years on JRNL.com. Username and password are auto filled
  3. That was inspiring, especially " in my own smallest way" because when I'm depressed my goals are very small and praise of small good things are comforting.
  4. Good for you. I admire your tenacity. I just started reading "No Plot, No Problem" by one of the originators of NaNoWritMo. I can't decide whether to wait til November to start or do it this winter.
  5. Good for you. I admire your tenacity. I just started reading "No Plot, No Problem" by one of the originators of NaNoWritMo. I can't decide whether to wait til November to start or do it this winter.

  6. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  7. I also went to the library and got some Sarah Vaughan. Also a Molly Johnson and Holly Cole (they're both Canadian) from the jazz section. I spend a lot of time at the library renting books and DVDs. It's been a while though since I've taken out a CD. Thanks for the inspiration.
  8. I can see how it must be hard for you, living with your parents. Is there a way you could move out so that you can have your own space or share with some like minded individuals? If age or money is an issue maybe you could hang on but make this a goal. Definitely follow through on your plans to get help on Tuesday. Hey, where's the photo? I'm enjoying these. You have a talent for it.
  9. If you were the alternate Elise, I would stop reading your blog. I enjoy reading about your simple everyday exploits. Those things that seem boring to you (watching movies, playing with your cats, doing small errands, having naps...) are the things that make life enjoyable for me when I'm well. Hearing about someone else's simple day reinforces my choice to live a live that doesn't include sky diving and horseback riding.
  10. What a lovely post. I love the progression from moody beginning to the enjoyment of simple pleasures. I don't know about you but I feel as though I could be happy if the large pressures weren't eating at me (career success etc) and I was free to just be.
  11. iconundrum

    Why Live?

    Reasons to live ...hmmm. I often have trouble with this one too. When I'm really honest about it, my reasons are ultimately the smallest of things in one way but the biggest in others. The reason for me to get out of bed is to enjoy my muffin and coffee. The reason to keep going after that is to surf the amazing world wide web and it's infinite possibilities for learning and entertainment. (in moderation, of course ) Googling reasons to live - what a great idea! Other reasons for me include the library. Reading a great book makes life worth living. So does seeing a really good movie, eating a food you really like. Try looking (but don't stare) at a girl you really like, regardless of whether she's ever even noticed you. Just admire her good qualities, whatever they are and leave it at that. Just try to enjoy the fact that pretty, smart girls exist and what a great thing it is that they do. Have you ever seen the Woody Allen film "Manhattan"? In it he records into a tape recorder "what makes life worth living" His reasons are very simple too.
  12. Hope you're OK. I miss your entries.
  13. Good blog - please keep writing. I'm wondering what type of work you do. Don't answer if it's too personal a question.
  14. I'm enjoying reading your blog. I take comfort from reading about your everyday activities. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one struggling with things like sleep, getting out of bed, housework, errands ... I've been searching the blogs on this site, looking for someone I can relate to in this respect and yours fits the bill. I'm rooting for every one of your small successes and taking them as inspiration for myself. Some people can't understand the magnitude of small accomplishments because they don't know first hand what it feels like. For those of us who do - Bravo - you got out of bed at 8:30. For me it wasn't until 11 so I am heartily impressed.
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