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imaman

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Everything posted by imaman

  1. I think maybe we are all k1llers inside. We don't mean to be. Most off us don't want to be, but we are. If we're not k1lling others we're k1lling ourselves. But today there's a break in the clouds. A stillness. I hear a howl that's congregating out there somewhere. A muffled siren that sounds like a whisper, for now
  2. tonight i am gambling with my sentiment tonight i am gambling with my repentance deny i am losing in a crowded room to a gambler in a crown of thorns tonight i am down to my soultonight i am gambling with my sentiment tongiht i am gambling with my salvation deny i am losing in a crowded room to a gambler in a crown of thorns tonight i am damned to my soul Jason Molina
  3. out of the ruins blood grown heavy from his past his wings stripped by thunder but those storms keep coming back singing birds in sickness sing the same blues songs when they fell out of the emptiness they must have brought along space's loneliness space's loneliness gotten so good at hiding it even he does not admit it that glittering flash in his eyes makes it look like he might be alright if the blues are you hunter then you will come face to face with that darkness and desolation and the endless depression but you are not helpless and you are not helpless try to beat it try to beat it and live through space's loneliness and live through space's loneliness you are not helpless you are not helpless I'll help you to try to beat it Jason Molina
  4. Alone with the owls howling "pain, pain, pain"Alone with the owls howling "pain"Alone with the owls howling "pain, pain, pain"You don’t have to live this wayWhile I lived was I a stray black dogWhile I lived was I a stray black dogWhile I lived was I anything at allDid I have to live this way I stood beside the ocean not a single waveBeside the ocean not a single wave Beside the ocean not a single wave Not a single thing left to sayWith the owl howling “pain, pain, pain”With the ocean howling the sameWith my life howling the sameDid I have to live this way Jason Molina
  5. @lonelyforeigner. Here's a different view on human evolution in the future. From the movie Waking Life. If we're looking at the highlights of human development, you have to look at the evolution of the organism and then at the development of its interaction with the environment. Evolution of the organism will begin with the evolution of life perceived through the hominid coming to the evolution of mankind. Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon man. Now, interestingly, what you're looking at here are three strings: biological, anthropological -- development of the cities -- and cultural, which is human expression. Now, what you've seen here is the evolution of populations, not so much the evolution of individuals. And in addition, if you look at the time scales that are involved here -- two billion years for life, six million years for the hominid, 100,000 years for mankind as we know it -- you're beginning to see the telescoping nature of the evolutionary paradigm. And then when you get to agricultural, when you get to scientific revolution and industrial revolution, you're looking at 10,000 years, 400 years, 150 years. You're seeing a further telescoping of this evolutionary time. What that means is that as we go through the new evolution, it's gonna telescope to the point we should be able to see it manifest itself within our lifetime, within this generation. The new evolution stems from information, and it stems from two types of information: digital and analog. The digital is artificial intelligence. The analog results from molecular biology, the cloning of the organism. And you knit the two together with neurobiology. Before on the old evolutionary paradigm, one would die and the other would grow and dominate. But under the new paradigm, they would exist as a mutually supportive, noncompetitive grouping. Okay, independent from the external. And what is interesting here is that evolution now becomes an individually centered process, emanating from the needs and desires of the individual, and not an external process, a passive process where the individual is just at the whim of the collective. So, you produce a neo-human, okay, with a new individuality and a new consciousness. But that's only the beginning of the evolutionary cycle because as the next cycle proceeds, the input is now this new intelligence. As intelligence piles on intelligence, as ability piles on ability, the speed changes. Until what? Until we reach a crescendo in a way could be imagined as an enormous instantaneous fulfillment of human? human and neo-human potential. It could be something totally different. It could be the amplification of the individual, the multiplication of individual existences. Parallel existences now with the individual no longer restricted by time and space. And the manifestations of this neo-human-type evolution, manifestations could be dramatically counter-intuitive. That's the interesting part. The old evolution is cold. It's sterile. It's efficient, okay? And its manifestations of those social adaptations. We're talking about parasitism, dominance, morality, okay? Uh, war, predation, these would be subject to de-emphasis. These will be subject to de-evolution. The new evolutionary paradigm will give us the human traits of truth, of loyalty, of justice, of freedom. These will be the manifestations of the new evolution. And that is what we would hope to see from this. That would be nice.
  6. Friday afternoons. To be exact , the moment I punch out of work.
  7. It's Sunday evening again. The gloom has set in. Celine said it best when he wrote : “The worst part is wondering how you’ll find the strength tomorrow to go on doing what you did today and have been doing for much too long, where you’ll find the strength for all that stupid running around, those projects that come to nothing, those attempts to escape from crushing necessity, which always founder and serve only to convince you one more time that destiny is implacable, that every night will find you down and out, crushed by the dread of more and more sordid and insecure tomorrows."
  8. This evening is one of those times that I feel the need to take a break from myself. I've been hanging out with myself for far too long. It would be a different story if I was a person more to my liking, but I'm not. So this evening I feel that it would be okay to slowly fade away and die. Not that I will be that lucky., but one can hope. Right ?
  9. indifference, apathy, and perfunctory.
  10. I'm alone too. By choice though . But I'm not lonely. What you wrote made me think of a poem by Charles Bukowski. Oh Yes. there are worse things than being alone but it often takes decades to realize this and most often when you do it's too late and there's nothing worse than too late.
  11. I'm so sorry. I know, it's 3 1/2 , but the "so" is what it makes in the moment.
  12. Efficiency and usefulness come in second, or third to enjoyment and satisfying . Don't spend your free time doing things you think you should be doing according to ???? . Do the things that you want to to do. That bring enjoyment to your life.
  13. When you're down on your luck and you just can't cope When the times are bleak And the friends are few Don't turn to me 'cause I'm no hope Don't turn to me 'cause I don't know what to do Maybe you should have a drink I don't know why you ever stopped anyway Oh, it's rough Baby, to live Oh, it's hard Baby, to survive Everyday lately My mind feels like glass Ready to be smashed Ready to be smashed Oh well, my best friend Took a bullet through his eye First he had a patch Now he's got a glass eye One hard, glass eye He says sometimes he wishes Both his eyes were glass Well, it's rough Baby, to live And it's hard Baby, to survive Everyday lately My mind feels like glass Ready to be smashed I'm ready to be smashed At times I lock myself up In my room Don't come over While I listen to a record I stare at the cover Don't come over Don't come over 'cause I'm no hope to you I'm no hope to you..
  14. Heaven by King Missile It's so beautiful here The swallows are swinging and swaying Sweetly tweeting in the fruit trees Sparrows hip hop into my hands And somehow I hold them And gently pet their wings Why is this happening here, now? I was in tears yesterday Tattered and near lifeless Have I died and passed into the afterworld? I must have This is heaven How did I get here? Let me retrace my steps What happened yesterday? I was in tears yesterday, near lifeless Something sad must've happened, but what? What was I crying about? Is it over? Is it okay now? Who am I talking to? What's going on? Oh no! Now the sparrow is broken and mangled in my bl00dy hands This is so awful Giant flying insects are crawling all over me, Biting and laughing This is even worse than being alive This is worse than being alive Even worse than being alive I hate this
  15. I was thinking about it , checked the local group out on meet up and convinced myself that there were enough reasons for not going.
  16. Four Three by All india Radio. The official music video suggests that it's about space travel, but in my darker hours it feels like someone is out there that gets what I'm going through. Lyrics: Welcome to my world Stay you are not alone Stay you are not alone
  17. Sunday evenings are bad for me too. The knowledge that mondays are the continuation of my so called life. Going to a much hated job, and lots of nothingness. Just like the song Nothing by the Fugs..
  18. Why do I get up in the morning to go to a job i hate, and come home to an empty life. On the weekend more emptiness. And that week after week, after week. Am I a masochist?
  19. Stuck Here Again --- L7 I'm good at feeling bad I'm even better at feeling worse Some would say life is a charm But I'm convinced it is a curse Yeah yeah, I'm stuck here again I've learned to make bad situations my friend It starts all over just when it should end Yeah yeah, I'm stuck here again Here comes that familiar pain again I'm low down, I'm feeling ill Yeah yeah, I'm stuck here again Wish there's someone I could ****, yeah Yeah yeah, I'm stuck here again I've learned to make bad situations my friend It starts all over just when it should end Yeah yeah, I'm stuck here again Here comes that familiar pain again I'm low down, I'm feeling ill Stuck here again Wish there's someone I could ****, yeah Yeah yeah, I'm stuck here again I've learned to make bad situations my friend It starts all over just when it should end Yeah yeah, I'm stuck here again Yeah yeah, I'm stuck here again Yeah yeah, I'm stuck here again It starts all over just when it should end Yeah yeah, I'm stuck here again
  20. I'm in my fifties, and depressed for 3 plus years. So yes, I do remember my life before. It's like depression opened the blinds and showed me the real me. Before that I was sort of content with my life. As much as I wish things could be like before, they never will be. And the people that know the "old" me , still treat me, and see me like the old me. So I know the difference is a mental perception that only I can see. That really makes me feel alone.
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