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AquaViolet

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  1. Like
    AquaViolet got a reaction from LonelyHiker for a blog entry, Doctor Visits   
    I saw my new therapist on Monday. I think I'm really going to like her. I think she is going to be able to help me.
    I'll be talking with her about the sexual abuse I went through as a young child. And I'll also talk about the bullying I experienced for years in school.
    I have a lot of emotional wounds that go really deep. I hope discussing these things in therapy won't be too painful, or cause my anxiety to get worse.
    But I trust my therapist. I think she'll try to make talking about these things feel safe for me. She'll be gentle with me.
    I see my psychiatrist on March 20th. It's been three months since my last appointment with her, and I've been coping OK.
    I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful psychiatrist and therapist.
    And I'm glad to live in this day and age of modern medicine. My medications have given me my life back!
    I saw the Infectious Disease Specialist yesterday about the wounds on my legs. Fortunately, the oral antibiotics I've been taking are working, so I don't have to be on IV antibiotics. I'm so relieved! My legs are doing better.
    I have much to be thankful for.
  2. Like
    AquaViolet reacted to T on C for a blog entry, Wow, What A Day   
    Cooked for 15/20 people at the mental health center, did a simple dish-Tex Mex chicken pasta, some green beans with grilled onions and thyme, garlic sourdough and a green salad. Showed my volunteer sidekick how to dip strawberries in chocolate. Meal went well, lots of seconds and boy I'm glad I prepped for 25.
    Came back downtown and got a part time job doing data entry-that one starts next week. Still trying to decide what my schedule is going to be-3 days a week cooking, and 5 days a week data...going to think about that one for a while.
    Brad is on the piano, Bob is playing the guitar. A couple is sharing secrets next to me. The barista is yawning. A dog walks in...big guy in tow. Coffee permeates the air. Yeah it's the Boiler room in all it's glory. I love this place. Kick back, relax. Life is good. Life is turning around.
    That's the thing, it always does...remember that.
    Later
  3. Like
    AquaViolet got a reaction from ranter for a blog entry, Living Life With Morbid Obesity   
    I hate being this overweight. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would weigh what I do now.
    I am considered morbidly obese, and it sucks.
    I have knee arthritis that is made worse by my weight. I have sleep apnea, diabetes, and chronic wounds on my lower legs.
    All of this, I've been told, is related to my weight.
    I can only walk for short distances with my cane, and I get totally worn out.
    Going places is difficult. I can only go places that have a motorized cart, like the grocery store, or the mall.
    When I go to see my daughter's choir concerts at her school, I have to sit on a folding chair in the back, because I don't fit in the seats.
    There are a lot of places where I don't fit in the seats.
    The last time I flew on a plane 5 years ago, I had to purchase two seats, and use a seat belt extender.
    People, especially kids will stare at me, and make comments about how fat I am.
    Being overweight sucks. But giving up my comfort food, and trying to lose weight seems emotionally like an impossible mountain to climb.
    What to do?
  4. Like
    AquaViolet reacted to T on C for a blog entry, Back To The Stoves   
    Just got fingerprinted at the police station...no, it's not bad-I was offered a volunteer job here at the local mental health center, cooking for a small group and have to go through state background checks.
    I figure it this way: I get services for free-Medical, prescriptions, food etc and want to give something back-like a trade out so to say so I don't feel like a total mooch/loser. I'm pretty excited, and it'll be nice to do something I like for a few hours a day.
    Slept in my car again last night, too much craziness going around at the shelter. Guess if I was stoned or drunk I'd fit in but since I can't afford the fantasy getaways I'll just go the legal route and enjoy the spaciness during the bump up of Seroquel. I was right, my pdoc upped the dosage to 450mg since I'm still having the auditory hallucination's. The Prazosin doubled up as well. Citalopram is still the same, but I'm sure that'll go up as well in the future.
    Although I'm slightly hungover from the bump, I feel good-a new attitude, and hope is around the corner. Gotta keep on thinking positive, that's the trick to the whole scene.
    Afternoon edit: Sitting here with a cup of coffee, still trying to shake the cobwebs out. People wander in and out, some stopping to play piano or the guitar. Even a few artists doing funky sketches on various mediums...rain is slowly falling, yucky clouds outside and the wind is picking up. Just about time to head to my car and wait until 4pm-hope for a quiet night...fingers crossed.
    Later
  5. Like
    AquaViolet reacted to AquaViolet for a blog entry, My New Therapist Can't See Me   
    I was all set to start therapy today with my new counselor. But her office called me today to tell me that she won't be able to see me because of insurance issues.
    Apparently my old therapist (P) is sticking around for a while, so I have to keep seeing her for now. (I thought she was retiring??) Sigh. She (P) hasn't been very helpful, and I usually leave my appointments with her feeling worse than I did before I went.
    They told me that there is another new therapist that is trying to get the insurance issues all lined up so s/he can see me. Hopefully soon. I really don't want to keep seeing P.
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