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Everything posted by evalynn

  1. I'm grateful that I don't live in an evacuation zone. I'm grateful that we got our supplies (canned soups, water bottles). I'm grateful that, if we have to, we can probably go to my dad's since he has a generator.
  2. I've been keeping up with the two laps around the neighborhood. But honestly it's not exactly pushing myself, but I am really out of shape right now.
  3. I'm freaking out about this hurricane that is coming toward us. It's supposed to land on Wednesday or Thursday and I'm not emotionally ready to deal with it. Last time we had a hurricane, we lost power for four days. Just thinking about it and the possible effects makes me feel like I'm going crazy.
  4. 1-I'm grateful for legs that take me from here to there. 2-I'm grateful that I could drive myself to a shopping center up the street in spite of being very nervous. 3-I'm grateful that my husband was home to spend the day with me.
  5. Two laps around the neighborhood, which isn't even a mile, but you know what? It's more than I've done in months AND I was really anxious to be out and worried I wouldn't be able to do it and I did. I tried the ol' "just do one" method, but once I was done with the first lap, I knew I could do a second. Now that summer is over and one day it has to cool down, I hope to get back into a regular schedule and push myself. I have a ways to go to get back to where I was, but I'm feeling optimistic right now. I can feel the blood going through my veins for the first time in a long time and it feels good.
  6. I feel like a mess. My skin has been a nightmare the last few weeks, I'm overweight but too tired/depressed to work out, I never feel like doing anything lately, and my mind has been going non-stop worrying about anything and everything. I don't feel confident in myself, and it's hard to get myself to do even the small things like self-care tasks. I kinda feel like I'm desperately trying to tread water. I don't know what I'm going to do.
  7. A little anxious, which is better than the a lot anxious I felt yesterday afternoon. It helps a lot that my husband is home. I don't necessarily want to be around people, but being home by myself all day is starting to drive me crazy. I just start getting anxious and then my freeze response kicks in and I can't even think of anything to do to fix it. The anxiety is evens stronger than the depression right now, and I'm just hoping I come up with some way to deal with it soon so I don't have to suffer.
  8. A little anxious, but before I ate I was considerably more anxious so eating apparently helped in this case.
  9. Were you ever able to get the treatment? Does anyone else have any experiences with this? My pdoc just suggested it.
  10. So there are plenty of times when I hate the rain--basically whenever I have to be out, especially driving. But right now, having nowhere to go, it's nice to sit and watch the rain from my window. I hope it goes on for a while.
  11. It wasn't bad! I did feel achy and terrible when I got up, but we got a ride from my dad and I felt better than expected for the next few hours. I was surprised by how I pulled through. Thanks for asking.
  12. Worried about our family get-together tomorrow (for Father's Day) because we're meeting at a time earlier than I've been getting up lately. And when I get up at my late usual time, I feel like crap--achy, still tired, anxious. I only get out of bed because I have to take care of my dog. But tomorrow I'll have to get up at least 3 hours earlier than this usual time, be dressed and presentable, and act like a functioning human being when I'll probably be so achy and sleepy. I hate that. I hate that I'm at the point where normal, everyday things that should be fun are hard and cause for me to feel stressed. I'm sick of being so tired, achy, depressed and worried all the time lately. I can't even remember what it's like to not feel this way. Summer always hits me hard, but this year I feel terrible. It's probably a mix of my athritis, being overweight and out of shape (I barely move during the day when I can help it), and being on the depressed side of my bipolar disorder this time of year. I hate that I dread everyday, and that I feel so dependent on my husband. He's working later than usual today and I'm sad about it. I just feel like I'm barely hanging on, and I don't see when I'll get any relief. I wish I could afford therapy or get myself off the couch at night to work out like I used to but neither of those things are happening anytime soon. I just feel hopeless.
  13. So hot and humid this afternoon I felt like I was going to die if my dog didn't hurry up and go. Google says it was 97 degrees, and I believe it. Even now at full dark, it's in the 80s.
  14. Emotional. There's one day a month where everything makes me cry and today is it.
  15. Very blah. In that state of not fully awake and yet somehow too awake to go back to sleep. Just trying to make it through the day.
  16. got out of bed and took the dog out with zero energy.
  17. I'm trying to figure out what I can do to pass the time now that I'm very fatigued with poor concentration these days. The only thing I can think of is read, but I couldn't even finish the last book I tried to read--and I'd read it before, a few years ago, and liked it! I have to find something more light I guess. Maybe short stories. Anything has to be better than just letting my thoughts spin around my head constantly.
  18. The storm missed us. It hasn't even rained today (not yet anyway).
  19. The sky just opened up 10 minutes ago. I'm glad it wasn't like this an hour ago when I took the dog out because she would've flipped. She's hiding in her usual summer hidey hole--the downstairs bathroom.
  20. Everything looked fine, if hot, a few hours ago. Now we have a severe thunderstorm warning and a tornado warning. And I hear there's a possible tropical storm coming this weekend. Jeez.
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